Exoteric Doctrines

The Bone Temple takes place directly after end of 28 Years Later. The fragmented POVs from Jimmy, a cult leader; a couple of his disciples, Spike, a survivor from the previous movie, and Jimmy Ink, one of Jimmy’s underlings who’s beginning to think something is wrong; Dr.  Ian Kelso, also from the previous movie. And also a bit from Sampson, an alpha infected also coming back from the prequel.…

Jennifer’s Body is a coming of age story about two teenage girl BFFs, one just happens to be a cannibalistic demon or whatever. It’s a mix of horror comedy thats actually kind of great. Written by Diablo Cody it’s full of weird slang that I’m pretty sure wasn’t a thing back then, one of her hallmarks, which is kind of brilliant because it’s not so much to capture the language of the time but to…

The Fourth Consort by Edward Aston, the same author as Mickey 17, is a sci-fi novel that’s a first contact/comedy of manners. I always enjoy a good sci-fi story, especially if they get really weird and The Fourth Consort sounded like it was going to get really weird. Basically it’s about this guy, Dalton Grieves who is a kind of space door to door salesman for a galactic ponzi scheme, he’s been…

While Mortal Kombat 2 acknowledges some of the events of the previous MK movie from 2021, it kinda negates many of the key points from the older movie. MK2 is almost a reboot, again! Mortal Kombat 2 centers on Johnny Cage, washed up action film star, and Kitana, princess of another realm, as they and the crew try to stop Shao Khan from taking over Earthrealm. The first third of the movie is solid…

Now that we’re more than halfway through March I should post about some other movies I saw in February. 75% I saw at home on DVD, of which 100% were from the library because I am a patriot. Midnight – 1939 – Romcom. A really fun screwball comedy that’s still fresh 81 years later. Not a cellphone in sight. Very charming all around. A party girl is exiled to Paris, where a taxi driver does her a…

I’m fully convinced that Baki is by people who think that Bloodsport is a documentary and said, we should make a fucking insane version of it. Baki, in short, is about fist fighting, not for fame or money, but just to be the strongest around.  I’ve been watching the anime since it popped up on netflix, so I was looking forward to the latest arc. In this one a clone Musashi Miyamoto is set loose…

Hundreds of Beavers – Comedy – 2024 Jean Kayak runs an applejack (a type of apple brandy) business. He spends his days catering to his customers and partying. But when it all goes up in flames, due to a nefarious hidden enemy, Jean has to learn to survive in raw wilderness. Out in the wild nothing is free, but Jean endures. It would be easy to say this is a man vs nature story, but it’s also man…

50 Shades of Black- Comedy – 2016 I haven’t seen 50 Shades of Grey, but 50 Shades of Black captures what I felt like when I first saw the trailers and clips from the original 50 Shades. If the original movie is already really goofy looking, what’s even the point of a parody? Look, it’s pointless to argue about such subtleties when one has already pressed play on one of these dumbass parody…

Until Dawn 2025 Horror – Even though I haven’t played it I knew Until Dawn is based on a video game, so it never had my interest. I was initially skeptical when I first heard about it because of the well deserved stigma that surrounds movies based on video games. I haven’t played the game the movie is based on because horror games scare me to the point where I’ll try them for a second and then…

Naked Ambition – Documentary -2023 A documentary about Bunny Yaeger, photographer of old school pin ups and all around Renaissance women. When I was a teenager and getting into the stuff I like to this day, I’d often see lots of “Pin-up” stuff, lots of Betty Page and what not. So I’ve seen lots of B.Y.s work, I just didn’t know it. If you’re a hip cat, you probably have seen a bunch too. Naked…

Early on in the book the author writes some stuff that might upset supporters of Donald Trump. Which will probably turn off the freaks that follow T, which are unfortunately the kind of people mostly attracted to subjects such as Bigfoot. Great! The author is much more subtle about it, but fuck Donald Trump. I wouldn’t want people who support that child rapist reading my stuff either. The book…

Also known as “porridge”1 humans have probably been eating a dish like this since  they meandered away from the garden and had to start growing foods themselves. It’s also super easy to make in our current times! Enough talk, show me the recipe. I firmly believe that losing the way from the garden is one of humanity’s greatest collective traumas. To this day humans blame themselves for it, like…

What if I told you a non-human intelligence has a sort of headquarters, miles deep in the Pacific Ocean, and they are using hydrothermal energy to perpetuate their bloodlines? It has come to my attention that the octopus, which I thought was a solitary creature, gathers in groups. Big ones. Massive ones. According this this article from discoverwildlife.com by Helen Pilcher  “Home to 20,000…

I was cleaning the joint up listening to a Coast to Coast AM recording from the past. If you don’t know what Coast to Coast AM, it’s this insane radio show about aliens, UFOs, paranormal activity, cryptozoology, all of that stuff. I don’t know if it’s some kind of kayfabe, but Coast to Coast is completely outlandish and ridiculous. I keep listening to it because it’s the funniest thing ever. I’m…

Dear Americans, There are literal secret masked police kicking doors down. The president and those in power are rotted through and through. What the fuck is wrong with you people who support? Don’t you know that you’re being lied to? That echo chamber when you log on to your Facebook isn’t Joe Smith from a town over, many foreign powers are using online platforms to spread misinformation. I…

But the first thing I thought of when I heard someone was going to climb a skyscraper live on TV was a line from the Simpsons. “Hello! Human fly over here! Come on, I stayed up all night dyeing my underwear!” So when I thought I’d give it a watch. I knew that Alex Honnold was going to make it the second he climbed up more than 5 feet off the ground. Plus the way he was doing pull ups, imagine a…

Terrifier 3 – Horror – 2024 Every time with these fucking movies. Every time, I end up thinking, why am I traumatizing myself watching this? I haven’t even seen this movie in months and I still feel the same way when I typed this out. Art the clown, and all the chaos and terror he brings, comes back to continue terrorizing Sienna and Johnathan Shaw from the previous movie. I’ll stop there…