I’ve always loved these two individually, from my early days of watching B.R. Chopra’s Mahabharat and all the subsequent versions (good & bad!) that followed. I remember taking out a library book at school, being super excited that I had managed to find something on Hindu mythology in a British school library. Anyway I digress, but there was a passage on how the Pandavas and Draupadi die - you know the one I mean. Yudhishtira decrees that Bhima died because he was a foodie, the twins were smug about their looks/intelligence but the point that gets me every time is that Yudhishtira blames Draupadi’s death on her “great partiality” to Arjun. And little old B.R Chopra Mahabharat watching me was like woahh, is this true? I wanted to rediscover the story through new eyes and understand exactly what kind of affect this dynamic between my favourites had on the epic as a whole.Cut to my, late teens/thoughout my twenties trying to track down as many versions of this story as I could get my hands on!

While everyone seems to have taken note of the many many points where Draupadi expresses how much she loves Arjun, any moments where Arjun reciprocates in kind appear to be sidelined or wiped away entirely, to paint him as resentful, emotionless and worse a serial womaniser, spending his time in the beds of other women with the sole purpose of pissing off Draupadi/coping with her loss like some kind of Devdas. It couldn’t be further from the truth! We have to remember, this is the guy who has spent most of his life on the road in exile, and a large portion of those exiles were spent in solitude. I can totally believe that Arjun was prone to quietly remove himself from the larger court gatherings and go off to some secret corner of the palace, that Draupadi no doubt knew all about and kept stocked up with arrows for target practice.

When Arjun returns from Dwarka with Subhadra in tow, it’s interesting to read how the whole thing goes down. Draupadi is jealous of Subhadra - she’s Krishna’s sister and now Arjun’s wife, a direct threat to the speical position Draupadi holds in the ‘Krishna x 3 BFF’ club they have going on (Krishna-Vasudeva, Krishna-Arjuna and Krishnaa-Draupadi). In this situation, Arjun is v.apologetic as expected, but nope nothing doing, Queen Draupadi is rightly pissed off and tells Arjun to leave her and go back to Subhadra. In this situation, Arjun could have a) left it at that and engineered things to keep the two women as far apart as possible (he’s the Army commander so would constantly be out on campaigns/securing borders so it would be easy enough just to take Subhadra with him), or b) pressed the point and asked Draupadi to accept Subhadra, completely disregarding her feelings or worse, asking Yudhishtira/Krishna to convince Draupadi to agree from a Monarch’s POV. Arjun surprises everyone and does none of these things. He tells Subharda to dress as a cowherd lady and present herself to Draupadi as her maid. This is where Draupadi’s value to Arjun comes into play. Think about it, if Subhadra was the love of Arjun’s life, why the hell would he bother asking her to belittle herself infront of a woman who up to this point is raging with jealously and could say anything to upset her. Draupadi is clearly the priority here, not Subhadra. Vyas writes Arjun as knowing Draupadi’s mind better than the reader, because where we might expect Draupadi to dish out a second tongue lashing (it’s justifed afterall), Arjun knows that Druapdi will melt once she sees Subhadra and understands there is no reason for insecurity. In fact, what Arjun has done is ensure that Subhadra is devoted to Draupadi, the end result being that Subhadra ends up caring for Draupadi’s sons as her own during their exile after the dice game.

Another insight into their relationship is kinda between verses. Sanjay talks about Krishna, Arjun, Draupadi and Satyabhama having a gossip session within a private chamber, one which Vyas explicitly mentions that Nakul, Sahadeva and Abhimanyu were allowed to enter. Why? Because the Krishna x 3 BFF club is in session (looks like Satyabhama is an honorary member). Arjun not only loves Draupadi as his wife, but also as his friend and respects the position she holds with Krishna and his family. This is a picture of love, friendship and devotion, quite opposite to the notions of angst and resentment modern retelling would like us to believe. Draupadi is strong willed enough not to bother with anyone who doesn’t give her the respect and affection she deserves. Thinking that Draupadi loves Arjun without him doing anything to deserve this love is pretty much an insult to her intelligence.

When Yudishtira tells Arjun to leave for the Himalayas and worship the gods to acquire celestial weapons, Draupadi’s parting words to Arjuna are “But the grief I experience at parting with thee is far greater than any I felt at those insults. Certainly, in thy absence, thy brothers will while away their waking hours in repeatedly talking of thy heroic deeds! If, however, O son of Pritha, thou stayest away for any length of time, we shall derive no pleasure from our enjoyments or from wealth. Nay, life itself will be distasteful to us”. This is a very strong sentiment from Draupadi, considering her abuse during the dice game. Clearly none of that compares to the thought of Arjun leaving her again for an untold amount of time, since Draupadi describes her grief here as ‘far greater’ than that during the dice game, which as we know was very much one of the worst things that could possibly happen to a person, especially a woman. What we glean from this is that while Draupadi can debate dharma with Yudhishtira till the cows come home, and send Bhima off to collect lotuses, Arjun is only second (or maybe even equal to) Krishna in raising Draupadi’s spirits and understanding her heart (which is further explored during the Virat Parva). 

Arjun for his part is supremely guilty for how he was unable to protect his wife the first time she needed him, and Vyas makes a point to show that this eats away at Arjun until he can atone for his part in her betrayal. During the Virat War and Kurukshetra, Arjun is motivated into defeating and later killing Karna by remembering how Karna insulted Draupadi during the dice game. “ ‘O Daughter of Drupada thou hast no refuge. Better betake thyself as a bond-woman to the house of Dhritarashtra’s son. Thy husbands, being defeated, no longer exist. Thou hast a loving soul, choose some one else for thy lord.’ This speech, proceeding from Karna, was a wordy arrow, sharp, cutting all hopes, hitting the tenderest parts of the organisation, and frightful. It buried itself deep in Arjuna’s heart”. Krishna in his BFF God status is well aware of Arjun’s suffering at a) hearing Draupadi demeaned in such a way and b) having not been able to avenge her immediately. When Karna’s chariot wheel is stuck in the mud he implores Arjun to lower his bow, relying on his reputation as a fair fighter. Karna doesn’t expect the repentant husband of Draupadi to make an appearance, but that is exactly what happens when Krishna starts reminding Karna of his deeds, most of them centred around how Draupadi was treated during the dice game. Arjun’s feelings for Draupadi are paramount in the way Karna is killed. Arjun’s love and guilt for his wife and his promise to her ultimately wins out over his reputation as Vibhatsu, a warrior who fights fairly.

There are several other examples, but going back to the beginning of this messy essay, it’s interesting to note the way in which Vyas describes Arjun’s death. “Beholding Nakula and the others fall down, Pandu’s son Arjuna of white steeds, that slayer of hostile heroes, fell down in great grief of heart.” Nakula and ‘the others’ refers to Sahadev and of course Draupadi. I’m not saying Arjun wouldn’t be upset in seeing the twins die in front of him (I’ve always imagined a strong bond between these three as it’s only with N&S that Arjun gets to be a big brother, but also empathising with being the youngest of Kunti’s sons), just that it is quite telling about Arjun’s particular emotions for Draupadi, considering none of the other brothers’s moments of death are described this way. I imagine that when the Yudhishtira/Dharma drama in Devlok is over, the first thing Arjun does is seek out Draupadi, Krishna and Satyabhama (first agenda of the reformed Krishna club: Operation get the Gandiva back from Varuna!)