Check, Please!

y’all? i think you mean “youse guys” ???

absolutely pronounces it “cawfee”

makes fun of jersey every chance he gets

but absolutely loves going down the shore like ??? he’d probably physically defend ocean city (nj not md, please)

being able to go down the shore any time he wanted was literally the only reason he learned to drive bc there’s no other reason to be able to drive if you live in philly

gets chirped any time the team gets subs because they’re “Hoagies youse guys”

“then why is it called subway and not hoagie-way swoops”

“they’re called sandwich makers not hoagie makers”

(this is what my best friend who’s from another state says Every Time hoagies are brought up so #confirmed)

asks for jimmies on his ice cream

he’s gotta go to the mac machine?? to tap mac??? just say you’re going to the atm brah.

the rest of the team is always asking kent to translate what the fuck swoops is trying to say

(kent doesn’t really know half the time)

the new york/philly rivalry is So Real between swoops and kent

if they start talking about the rangers/flyers or yankees/phillies it’s probably a good idea to separate them

in fact “everyone is responsible for keeping kent parson and jeff troy away from each other any time a philly/new york team is playing each other” is one of the most important rules in the Welcome to the Las Vegas Aces Handbook™

[deleted Epikegster scene]

And how, indeed?