It’s Raining Somewhere Else

NNTPRIDE Day 6: PURPLE | IDENTITY

But truth be told, the greatest secret of the world is this

NNT Pride Day 4: GREEN | NATURE

She didn’t understand the novelty of it at first. The saplings were fragile and weak, tiny even by human standards, and the first dozen met an unfortunate end to her misjudged strength. The human who had sheltered her and Monspiet clicked their tongue in disapproval, but was also quick to show Derieri the right way to do it.

“Why not just buy flowers from the market?” She asked an hour later, knee deep in hay. Her hair was pushed back, her skin coated in a fine sheen of sweat, and the callouses on her fingers were from work, not killing. Today had been good, but she still felt the unease crawling under her skin, too big for her body, too strong to be human. Her fingers left gouges in wood and she nearly winced. “Wouldn’t that be more convenient?”

Derieri could see Monspeet in the distance, his sleeves pulled up past his elbows, dirt streaking the bridge of his nose. When he turned at the weight of her gaze on his shoulders, she pretended she hadn’t been looking.

“Well sure, I could.” Was the reply. “But anyone can buy flowers. There’s just something about helping something grow that can’t be found anywhere else.”

She didn’t understand. Kept not understanding it, up until three months later, when she was skulking around the house at sundown. The girl had met her then, and tugged at her sleeve with long slender fingers, the other hand sweeping out in a grand gesture.

“Look!” She said, and Derieri did- she saw a flower half leaning against the wall. The sunlight wasn’t strong here, and the earth wasn’t quite right, and there were gouges in the dirt that her claws would fit in snugly; but it was growing, ten little white petals unfurling towards the sun, like a soul that decided to chase the light.

Something in her chest squeezed.

Just a year ago, she had been a killer. She had murdered humans just like this girl like they were nothing. There were still days where her stomach churned with bloodlust, and only the feel of borrowed fabric whispering over skin and the sight of Monspiet’s worried gaze stopped her.

But she had planted this flower too. She had helped it grow, and many others, just by virtue of planting it. The pit between her ribs yawned, dark and empty, and thrumming with something a little like grief, a little like acceptance.

It wasn’t an absolution. She could never not be someone who had killed. But here, staring at the spot of white standing out amidst so much green, she could almost believe she could be someone who refused to kill.

“The others will be blooming soon.” The human girl said, and this close, Derieri can see the dimples to their cheeks. “Isn’t it beautiful?”

She turned her head, caught Monspeet through the corner of her eye. He was skinning an apple with the demonic energy wreathing his hands, and when he met her gaze, light as it was, he gave a small, almost knowing smile. This time she didn’t turn away.

NNT Pride Day Three: YELLOW | RELAXATION