Certified Problematic

For our perpetual horny boy

Zodiac: Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 22)

Height: 169cm (or approximately 5'6")

Weight: 61kg

Length: 19.5cm

His favorite color is red.

Because of Asmodeus's energy, he's perpetually in a state of orgasm (or at least a perpetual state of being horny).

It's very easy for Phenix to reach orgasm, just from a simple stimulus.

Phenix can be aroused by anything.

His kink is morphophilia, which is an interest in sexual partners whose body characteristics are different from one's own.

Sorry if this bad I really tried y'all.

I'm sorry @vvassagos

Cw: corruption Kink, fetishizing humans?? Dubcon(noncon to be safe) , mind break, some non serious parts,

He scares me...

Chapter 1

[Next day in ES lobby]

Esu: —GOT IT EVERYONE!? IF WE GET SCOLDED, WE GET ALL THE WAY DOWN AND DO DOGEZA TOGETHER, OKAY!?

Raika: wahhh~! (Starts to get down )

Esu: NOT NOW! Don’t suddenly start bowing in a place like this! Hold on, ARE YOU ACTUALLY TRYING TO START SOMETHING THAT WILL MAKE PEOPLE MAD AT US!?

Kanna: Be reasonable. Nothing has been confirmed yet, so we don’t actually know if we’re being summoned to get scolded or not.

Yume: You’re so quick to jump to conclusions. Esu’s such a scatterbrain

Esu: okay so if we’re following Kanna’s logic, sure it’s not certain that we’ll be scolded but ITS ALSO NOT CERTAIN WE’LL NOT BE SCOLDED

Also can you please not call me a scatterbrain?

Ugh whatever. I don’t have a single clue as to why we’re being summoned.

But if you’re suddenly called in for an emergency meeting to the agency you just joined, ISNT IT A UNIVERSAL BELIEF TO THINK THAT YOU’LL BE GETTING A SCOLDING!?

Anyways, once we arrive at the office we’ll find out why we’re being called in, clear as day!

-at office-

Esu: …… pardon us. good morning, we’re Esupuri

Tsukasa: aah, greetings everyone. I appreciate your hard work. Sorry for calling you in so suddenly.

Esu: It wasn’t a problem at all, don’t worry about it! We’re still newbies with plenty of free time after all!

Um, sooo……… what did you need from us……?

Tsukasa: First I’d like to formally introduce myself to everyone again as I’ve met you all privately at various locations.

I’m Tsukasa Suou, an IDOL and representative of NewDi. It’s a pleasure to meet you all. If there’s ever anything you need, don’t hesitate to reach out to me.

Esu: aah, of course. We’ve heard the same thing from another staff member. It’s a pleasure to meet you too

So umm…… We heard from NiceP that you called us in for an emergency meeting, so here we are…

So just what exactly did you want from us…?

Tsukasa: You’ve all only just formed “Esupuri” and have been active in many places broadening your work as much as possible correct?

Right after forming, you were quick to become promotional ambassadors for the [Princess SERIES]. I’ve heard that [SNOW WHITE] was a huge success.

You are all truly wonderful. You even did an INTERVIEW for a magazine the other day.

Esu: ………

Huh? Rather than being scolded, we’re actually getting praised instead?

Tsukasa: ??? Is something wrong?

Esu: Well you see…, when I was suddenly told that we were being summoned for an emergency meeting, I came fully prepared for a scolding

Contrary to my beliefs, it’s a relief that we’re being praised instead. Looks like I was worried for nothing!

Tsukasa: ahh so that’s what you thought of this. Please rest assured.

From this point onward I’ll only be scolding you♪

As a good senior, wasn’t I rather merciful? When using the candy and stick method, a senpai of mine boasted how giving a good pampering before the punishment part leads to better results.

Esu: you’re making absolute so sense!? That’s far from merciful, you’re talking as if you’re about to kill me!

Are you a sadist!? Can you not try and be more sadistic than me who literally has S as his name!?

Yume: Hey Esu. This guy, has a really twisted personality

Esu: HEELLLLLO!? Uh I mean, I thought that a bit too but, I NEED YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT THERE ARE SOME THINGS YOU SHOULDN’T SAY OUT LOUD NO MATTER HOW TRUE IT MAY BE!?

Yume: Holding back isn’t good for your health. Esu is a child who endures so much, Mommy is really worried

Esu: I’VE TOLD YOU MANY TIMES THAT I DON’T EVEN REMEMBER A SINGLE SECOND OF YOU EVER BEING MY MOMMYYYY!? C’mon, geeez! The more you talk the more complicated things get!

Raika: WAAAH~ (starts to go down)

Esu: I mean I did say to do dogeza if we were going to get scolded, BUT ISN’T IT A BIT TOO EARLY FOR THAT!?

Shouldn’t we at least ask why we’re being scolded before we start going dogeza?

Tsukasa: Ummm, may I proceed with our discussion?

Esu: Right, of course! I apologize! I tend to get off track pretty easily. Detours are necessary in life at times, wouldn’t you agree?

Tsukasa: If you ask me, that’s just taking the long way around…

Moving forward…, all of you are still inexperienced IDOLS, please keep that in mind.

But that doesn’t mean you’re all too bad… As I stated earlier, I believe you’re all doing your best and being as productive as possible

But particularly Kanna-kun…… we’re going to need you to improve

Kanna: Oh, really? If you say so. So am I in trouble?

Esu: Why are you acting like you’re not bothered at all!?

So ummmm… Suou-senpai, would you mind explaining what’s the issue with Kanna?

Tsukasa: During your recent magazine INTERVIEW, he was so motionless that those around him were worried and kept asking if he was okay.

We’ve even received reports concerning his welfare and safety

Raika: Ah! That did happen~!

When I first heard that story from Kanna-sama I thought it was a joke! But then I saw it happen with my own eyes!

The only things I know that can stay still for so long is a grey heron about to hunt its prey and Kanna-sama.

Esu: I understand what you’re trying to say Suou-senpai but this is just how Kanna is.

Can’t you be a little more lenient here?

It’s not like he’s trying to offend our fans. He’s just expressionless. Think of him as a shoebill if you will. It’s mostly still but still moves occasionally.

Tsukasa: I’m not going to look after a shoebill here in NewDi.

Moving back to the topic, I understand what you’re trying to say Esu-kun. However if he continues to be motionless, it could eventually lead to complaints from FANS.

NewDi is still a popular growing agency. We won’t do anything that could potentially damage the trust we’ve built with FANS and prevent future FAN growth.

Worst case, we could even lose FANS…… If that were to happen, it could put your future as an IDOL in jeopardy!

Yume: I that happens, it’s not a problem at all! Because Yume will form a unit together with Esu!

Esu: ARE YOU A DEMON!?

Raika: huh!? WHO ME!?

Esu: C’mon, NiceP has high hopes for us guys! So I only want to see “Esupuri” succeed!

Tsukasa: That’s the spirit ♪

So to raise your LEVEL as an IDOL, NewDi will be giving you a mission!

Esu: m-mission…?

Tsukasa: Yup! Your mission is— to increase the number of Kanna’s FANS within the assigned deadline!