Paola Betancourt

We´ll be okay

Part two (or the second POV)

Still angsty...

Pairing Rafael Barba X Reader

Rafael Barba POV

Word count: 781

Everything´s a blur, I remember so little, yet hurts so much, before I knew the cab was pulling over my building, the bright yellow tape surrounding the entire block, blood kept rushing, I was living on adrenaline since yesterday when I got the call... 

I was leaving court in Boston; I was consulting on a case as a favor to a friend, my mind was everywhere, thinking of all the possible ways to help, but I´m not going to lie, it was not being easy, I missed home, missed her but I had made a commitment and what were just a couple more days away? I kept lying to myself. 

While walking down the stairs I got a call, pulled my phone and saw it was Olivia Benson, thought nothing of it and kept walking, my phone buzzed again, surprised I pulled my phone again and it was to no surprise Olivia again, a text that made my blood freeze and stop pumping to the rest of my body: “we are taking her to the hospital, get here now” 

I tried calling Olivia but couldn´t get through, I started sweating through my palms first, I have no idea how I got to my hotel, packed as fast as I could, tears threatening to scape my eyes, I knew it, I knew I was in danger but never imagined so was she. 

I was threatened a couple of weeks ago; the squad was aware of it and offered protection, I said yes mostly thinking of her safety, but I had no idea she would ever be a target... until now. 

It was the longest flight I had ever taken, my brain reminiscing on the fact that that day on that elevator, when that guy came up to me and threatened me, this was my fault, whatever had happened to her was my fault, I had left her alone, unprotected, unguarded by me... whatever happened to her was on me... 

As soon as I landed, I called Olivia, no response, so I texted her “where is she?”, a couple of minutes later a notification on my phone that rea: “Mercy”, I hailed a cab and practically sprinted to the hospital, all my thoughts on her, her face, hands, eyes, on everything I love about her, please... please... please let her be okay. I found myself bargaining with whatever deity was above us, trying not to cry, trying so hard to hold it all together and failing horribly.  

I finally made it to Mercy and ran to the nurses stand, asked for her and ran to the elevator, as soon as they opened, I saw Olivia there I couldn´t look straight to her eyes all I could mumble was: “what happened?”. 

She was visibly nervous, not wanting to say much or to disturb me, she mumbled a something, but my brain was already on something else, my eyes sprinted to the window where I could see her lying in bed, pale, hurt, I could see she was shot, left ribcage, “she wasn´t aware of the danger” I thought. 

All I could think was “I need to be there; I need to touch her” my brain spiral was interrupted by shrilling sound coming from her room, my ears buzzed at the voices of nurses and doctors running in to help her, I could feel my legs going numb, my eyes trying to maintain me as controlled as possible and epic failing at that, my hand ran to the window as if that made me closer to her. 

Everything went by real fast, and the only thing that snapped me out was the doctor screaming “clear” followed by the longest minutes ever, I didn´t realize I was holding my breath until I could hear the doctor yell: she´s back” I could feel my limbs coming back to life, blood running on my stream again, my eyes rushing to see her lying there, so fragile, so small, so un-her. 

I was screaming uncontrollably to be let in, to hold her, to scan every inch of her face all over again; the doctor came out and said something along the lines “she´s weak but you can go in and see her”, all I heard was I could see her, I ran to her side. 

I grabbed her hand, it felt light, paper-thin, I could see her veins and count them, her lips crackling, her eyes closed, she tried to sit and succeeded. 

I did all I could, I told her everything was going to be okay, that we were together in this, making all kinds of promises I intended to keep as long as she stayed with me. 

WE´LL BE OKAY

Part one of two (more like two POV´s form the same situation)

I won´t spoil haha, but kinda angsty...

Word count: 617

Pairing Rafael Barba X reader

Y/N POV

I heard a gunshot, that´s all that mattered, we´ve had warnings, the team was attentive to any update, except... 

Except I wasn´t expecting to be attacked in my own house, my own sacred place, he wasn´t home yet, I was all alone, lying on the floor, blood pouring out. 

Everything happened so fast I didn´t have time to blink, one instant I was opening the door to our apartment after leaving the grocery store bags on the floor, I didn´t feel it, I heard it, it felt so surreal, I´d seen this on tv shows, they were right, it does sound like fireworks going off... that´s when I felt something physical... my head hitting the floor, heard sirens, after that it all went black. 

I had no idea how much time had passed, I tried to open my eyes but couldn´t, they were so heavy, my arm felt numb, my side hurt, my hand instantly tried to reach for it but a groan was all that my body was able to produce, the sound of beeping machines everywhere, the excessive clean smell from hospitals almost made me gag... then voices, serious voices, but only one stood from the others... him... he´s here... wait... he´s not supposed to be here, he was on a trip... wait... so... please... please... please eyes open... please so I can see him... I promise if I see him everything is going to be so much better... please... 

I felt a hand... not any hand...I felt his callous, raspy hand, his big unmistakable hand that had held me so many times before, my throat felt dry and sore, I really wanted to see him, speak to him... then it all went black again... 

Then I heard “she´s back” followed by his voice screaming to be let in, my eyes flickered and opened and went straight to him... 

He looked... tired, like he´d aged 10 years all of the sudden, only a trace of his suit, his dress shirt all ragged, first buttons undone, no tie, but what most surprise me was his face, both sunken in, eye bags the biggest I could recognize in him, his cheeks deflated, pale, yet his breathing was heavy, almost panting, a sense of urgency oozing from him, super strength by the way he was being held by nurses and a couple of doctors. 

I tried to move again, this time still hurt as hell but was able to kind of sit, while I was struggling to do so, the doors opened and next thing I know is he´s running to my side, caressing my forehead telling me everything is going to be okay, that I was safe now and that we were going to work this out together. 

My head was hurting so bad all I did was nod my head in agreement, being able to smell him hit me like a truck, the closeness made me feel home and I started crying, realizing everything that had happened. 

I was on my way from the grocery store after leaving the office to pick up some stuff for dinner, Rafael wasn´t home so I was cooking for one, I was happy, enjoying some alone time since he wasn´t going to be home until next week, I left the bags on the floor to open the door and then everything unraveled from that, I was perfectly happy, a perfectly happy architect living my best life next to the love of my life when... 

I had no time to think about that, I had to focus on the now, I shakingly grabbed his hand, soft yet secured. He squeezed it in confirmation and that was all I needed for now. 

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NOT THE PLAN PT II

Continuation of the request!

Word count: 489 words

The elevator ride felt eternal, we were on either side of the shuttle, I could feel his eyes fixated on me, but I refused to look back, I was not about to give in to his control, I could sense heat radiating from him, still, I ignored him, I knew what he wanted, I always knew what he wanted... still he was nowhere near getting it. 

We finally get to his floor, the “ding” from the elevator shattering the carefully crafted silence, I step out, I know where we´re heading so head held high I walk to his apartment and patiently wait for him to reach me and open the door. 

As soon as I heard the door cracking open, I walked in, no invitation needed, I knew what was about to happen... it always goes the same way... 

I turn to see him and he´s taking his coat off, rolling his sleeves up and heading to the bar 

Y/N: Ready? 

I could hear the liquor pouring, I smelled the whisky (his favorite) as he fixed us two drinks, he glared at me, directly in the eye, not a word out of place... 

RB: He had no right to do that... 

Y/N: why?... 

Rafael scoffs, finally some of his anger lingering out of his pores 

I walk close to the counter, grab the glass from his hand and turn around, I knew my smell drove him crazy, so you could possibly say I did it on purpose, but why not? I´m just having some fun. I sit on the edge of the couch a glare at him, waiting for him to speak, but he seems baffled, a couple of seconds run by and he´s still not speaking, I keep drinking, the clinking of my ice the only sound in the room 

Y/N: Still waiting counselor... just remember... not for much longer (small sigh) 

RB: Why are you doing this? 

Y/N: Exactly what am I doing? 

RB: You know... 

I cut him off 

Y/N: No counselor; I do not know, elaborate. 

Rafael walks slowly towards me to the couch, hands in pockets, visibly tired, but his eyes, those eyes tell a whole different story 

RB: Don´t toy with me (he leans towards my ear and whispers) you know where it gets you 

I could feel a shiver down my spine, my heart beating rapidly I tell myself I am not letting him win... not this time, so I push him ever so slightly to put some distance between us (for my sake) and stand up, making my move to leave, he grabs my arm, spins me towards him and whispers 

RB:Only I get to buy you your favorite 

I get my arm out of his grip, slowly walk to the counter, leave the drink and walk to his bedroom... 

Y/N: Whenever you´re ready to settle this... I´ll be waiting counselor (while untying my blouse and walked backwards to his room).

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NOT THE PLAN PT I

Responding to this request! sorry it took so long... been reading a lot lately haha

No warnings oh! yeap: posessive characters

Part one of two (already uploaded part two as well)

Word count: 474 words

Have fun!

This was not part of the plan... falling in love with him was definitely not the plan, this very moment was not the plan... 

I'm a smart woman, went from working at a mayor firm to creating my very own at only 25, went from partner to owner faster than any woman I've ever known. It all started as a basic consultation on a case, pretty simple at that, and continued as curiosity when I followed up on it, went to court to see how the case evolved, we went from casual drinks occasionally to almost every week... I was confused... we never really talked about what was going on... were we dating? only hookups? (from the looks of it the last one was the closest to what was happening). 

I was caressing a dry martini (extra dirty), while reminiscing on all our futile encounters when a single sentence sent goosebumps to my very core... 

RB: Thought I´d find you here... care to share a cab? (his voice almost like a growl) 

Everyone saw Rafael Barba as an extremely polite prosecutor, I saw the real beast within him, the way he could either seduce or kill with mere words. 

It didn´t scare me, it made me try to understand him... had no idea it would lead to this mess of a relationship (If I could even call it that). Denying every instinct in my brain I hesitantly nodded, took one las sip of my martini and got up from my stool, he grabbed me by my arm, slowly took his thumb to my lips, cleaned a drop of my drink and staring at me dead in the eye took his finger to his lips and licked it. 

My heart skipped a beat, and he knew what he had done, no words needed, he grabbed my purse (grip still on my arm) and we walked out, he hailed a cab, we go in in silence, I could feel his blood boiling, the way he kept running his fingers through his hair desperately... and that´s when it landed, I smirked a little, as I turned to the window but I knew he saw my gesture because his head snapped to look at me. 

RB: Something funny counselor? 

Y/N: You saw? 

RB: We´re not having this conversation here 

Y/N: Suit yourself then... (As I turned to the window again) 

I felt a strong grip on my leg, almost cutting all circulation on my right leg... 

We arrive to his apartment... (shocker I thought). 

We ride the elevator in silence, the heat was palpable, even though it was mid-November, I make the decision to not look at him... It was going to drive him wild... see... the beast gets off on power, wasn't gonna let him have all the fun... This time... it was my turn... 

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Responding to this request... went a little sideways...

It works IF you think of this as a POST-AMBER fic haha

Warnings: Slightly agressive Wilson... I KNOW! SHOCKED TOO!

Pairing: James Wilson X Reader

I never thought of myself as the prettiest to walk on earth, but I was lucky enough to marry a guy who thought I was... or so I thought... 

Being a lawyer, you definitely develop a sense of security, you walked with your head held high, well-tailored suits and impeccable hair and accessories, you loved that about yourself, almost as much as you loved being a lawyer and you secretly knew that was what made James fall in love with you. 

Anyway, I was at the hospital on a consult basis with Cuddy, a case that made her pull the hairs out of her head... yeah... this had House written all over it, you agreed to help since you knew specially how difficult of a person he could turn when not getting what he wanted. 

You walk to the reception and to your surprise a male nurse was there. 

MN: Good morning beautiful 

Y/N: (a little awkward smile) hello, hi, I have an appointment with Doctor Cuddy right about now (you looked at your watch) 

MN: what´s the rush baby? We can talk... 

Y/N: Not that is any of your business but I´m married (flashing your ring at him) 

MN: Doesn´t really matter babes, we can still talk, he won´t find out... won´t tell if you don´t... 

Y/N: (visibly uncomfortable) Please stop (assertive voice) really stop 

MN: I´ll try later babes (while Cuddy opens the door to her door calling her in) 

Y/N: Coming Lisa 

The meeting went as usual, House defending himself (of course), you trying to listen (and also care) but you couldn´t get that interaction out of your head, you were biting your pen when there was a knock on your door, you hear Lisa say an absentminded “come in” and James walking in with anger in this eyes, that one vein popping out from his forehead. 

JW: Y/N, a word please, now 

Y/N: I´m sorry I can´t attend to you right now, I´m in the middle of a meeting, I´ll come by after 

GH: Someone´s in trouble... and it´s not me... a real shocker... 

LC: Shut up House, James it´ll only be a few more minutes, you can wait outside (in a calming but reassuring voice) 

JW: Not really (he walks to you and tried to grab your arm; you move it and look at him in disbelief)  

LC: James, out, now (defending you) 

JW: I´m going to be on the other side of this door and the minute you´re out... 

Y/N: James, stop it, I don´t what this is all about but you´re seriously disturbing me 

JW: I´ll be waiting  

James leaves the room and you can clearly see him walk to the male nurse you recently talked to 

Y/N: Oh fuck... 

Both Lisa and House turn to see him move, not knowing what was about to happen, they were about to resume the meeting when they see James take a swing at the male nurse, you run the door, swing it open and fast walk towards the interaction happening 

Y/N: James, stop, let´s go, let´s go to your office, now 

James stumbles when you pull his arm but finally walks next to you. 

You both finally make it to his office, and it took all within yourself not to scream and try to keep composure for the both of you, you closed the door and he sits down on his chair, huffing in the process... 

Y/N: Care to explain yourself, doctor?  

JW: I saw him, how the talked to you, he touched you, Damn I could almost smell the testosterone coming out his pores, I want him gone, I´ll ask Cuddy to fire him immediately 

Y/N: Not again... please... James... you can´t keep doing this. If it helps, he never touched me, we were just talking, besides I don´t need to justify myself to you... Never had, never will. Please, you have to stop, we can´t keep living like this... I can´t keep living like this  

 JW: (Screaming) I was... (Whispering) I was just trying to protect you... 

Y/N: That´s not the way, besides, I can take care of myself, always have, always will James, look I´m tired, and you´re still hipped up, we need to have this conversation calm, at home, no yelling, no fighting, we need to reach an agreement... otherwise... 

JW: Please, don´t say it, I know I´ve been on the wrong but I love you 

Y/N: I know, I love you too, but this is wearing me out, it must be doing the same to you... (you reach to sit on his lap, caressing his hair, kissing his cheek) ... please... 

JW: We can talk more at home, I´m sure you have bigger things to attend to other that your crazy husband (little chuckle) 

Y/N: Just remember I will always choose you; we just need to rearrange some things around in order to not go through life punching people just because they talk to me, mkay?  (soft kiss on the lips) 

JW: (Tired voice) mkay, (against your lips), guess I´m in trouble with Cuddy now, should go over there and apologize... Don´t really want to though... (tiny spank on your bum to make you stand up) 

Y/N: Come on, I´ll walk you... 

Answering to this request... Loved writting this! So much fun!

ENJOY!

No warnings!

Being able to rest as a doctor is challenging to say the least, today I finally found a single minute to go to my office and take a seat, it was not that I was sad over a patience or anything, it was more on the “I have been awake for more that 24 hours straight please let me sleep” side. 

I sheepishly opened my office door, dragging my feet, barely making it to my chair, I let out a sigh as soon as my buttocks touched the so longingly missed chair, I layed my head and closed my eyes when suddenly I heard my door fly open and a rambling House almost screaming about how we´re all idiots. 

House immediately went to lay back on my couch.... 

JW: Are we in session now? 

GH: Ha- freaking ha. Have you ever noticed how people are just idiots walking and roaming life... 

JW: (in a tired voice) sure, sure 

GH: How is that possible, it´s exhausting having to deal with these idiots, it´s so obvious, it´s right there and... 

Suddenly a shy knock on the door, the knob turning slowly and my seventeen year all daughter walks in, in goth gear and I mean full goth flare, we´re talking black dress, corset, ripped pantyhose, lace sleeves, dark straight hair, a cross necklace, a choker, fake tattoos, face piercings, heavy makeup, dark makeup, I had no idea when my little girl became this, I was not judging her nor her decision I just missed her, missed what we had, anyway I was rambling in my head yet again. 

Wilson´s daughter: Dad... 

House interrupting: DAD!? EXCUSE ME?! DAD?! When did this happen (in a mock voice) 

Wilson´s daughter: Hi uncle House. (Waves slowly towards the couch) 

JW: Yes, honey?... 

Wilson´s daughter: So, listen, I´m going out tonight (sigh) and mom said I already spent all my allowance money, and she won´t give me more... help me convince her pleeeeeeaaaaaaseeeee??? You know she can´t say no to you... love and all that crap 

JW: (unable to say no) Fine... 

GH: Wowowwowowow, just like that? That´s all it takes? Here, give a gazillion dollars, bet you can´t say no to me either (mockery evident) 

JW: House... (warning-tired voice) 

Wilson´s daughter: Daddy please... 

GH: If I call you daddy, would you budge? 

JW: too tired for this (whispering). (Pulling his wallet out) how much munchkin (I call her munchkin out of love). 

Wilson´s daughter: I bet a hundred would be fine... 

JW: don´t be smart... (whispering) that´s how your mother got me to love her... 

Wilson´s daughter: (walks to Wilson and kisses his cheek) Thanks dad, don´t wait up... (she walks to the door and exits. 

GH: I knew we should have baptized her when we had the chance (fake crying) 

JW: Oh! Can it House. 

LOST

PART III

Last part!!!!!

Sorry it took me so long, I wanted to give it the ending it deserved!

Warnings: No warnings!

Pairing: Spencer Reid X Reader

I started walking without even knowing I was doing so, I could feel the sweat dripping through my forehead, I was nervous, scratch that, I was terrified, my last experience was not good, and I was afraid neither of us was ready for this step, I´d take two steps forward and one back, unconsciously of course, when I realized it, I took a huge breath in, kind of like summoning all the braveness in the world, I kept telling myself I was ready for whatever would come, that I needed to face this, that he needed me, that I needed to fight this fight for both of us, I ran my palms through my pants in effort to collect myself and kept walking. 

The place was so quiet, almost too quiet, like nobody was allowed to laugh or something, I finally reached the door to the so-called playroom, I peeked inside and saw him. My heart stopped beating; he looked so small, like his light was lit dimmed or diminished. 

I pushed the door slightly open, like I didn't want to be discovered, I was afraid to talk, felt like if I did the echo would hunt me forever, bouncing through the walls, I walked slowly, afraid I would startle him, I sat down in front of him, and it was then and there that I could see the chess board with an ongoing game, I knew he was playing himself because of the moves he had done. 

He looked up slowly, his eyebrows furrowed, like trying to remember who I was. When he did, a slight smile crept his lips, his eyes lit up the sightliest bit, I could still see the darkness in them, but it was just a little less than the last time. 

I was stunned, couldn´t talk, I was just admiring him, I had really missed him, his touch, his rambling, his smile. 

The silence was beginning to be a little too much, so I decided to break it: 

Y/N:Hi Spence, how have you been? 

SR: I missed you 

That´s when I broke, I could feel the tears threatening to scape my eyes, he´s eyes softened at the look of tears. 

SR: Please, don´t cry, I´m sorry for everything I have caused you (I could hear his scratching voice, rough and unsecure) That´s why (sigh) even though I love you more than I could ever love anyone (he gulped) I think I need to finish this process by myself, this is not what I want, but it is what I need. 

I was processing every word, unable to speak, and then he does. 

SR: Please forgive me, I would love to tell you to wait for me, but I know it´s not fair for you, so I think it's better for now to break things off. 

I was unable to talk, or move, I felt the cold sweat on my palms and forehead, I started to stutter, trying to get the words out but unable to. 

SR: Please, please say something, anything but please... 

Y/N: I...I...I...I... Spence... I... I have to go, excuse me. 

Stumbling I got up, and ran out of there, I could feel the air coming in and out of my lungs, but no oxygen was being held inside of me. 

I finally made it to my car, I was trembling, I had no strength, I screamed, as hard as I could, finally my body gave into the feelings, the tiredness of everything I was going through, being this strong was tiring and draining my soul. I was sobbing while driving back home, flashes of my relationship flew by in my head, all the love I still felt for him, the tenderness with which he treated me, his careful caress, the smell of him after a shower, I wasn´t ready to give him up, but at the same time I had to respect his decision, but the question was drilling into my head: am I going to wait for him? Or move on?... 

These thoughts hunted me through the next weeks, I didn´t visit him anymore, the team would say he was doing better but refused to give any details. 

Months went by and I hadn´t heard from the team, all I knew was what Penelope told me, he´s out and he´s better, he´s taking it one day at the time, slowly he went back to work, nothing dangerous, desk work at first and moving back to normal. 

I tried to move on, dating was never an option, I needed time as well, so I decided to focus on work, new projects, new hobbies, I even moved apartments, too many memories linked to the previous ones. 

One day I went to a coffee shop near my new apartment, I had never gotten in, it was a small little coffee shop mixed with a bookstore, I immediately thought of him, and what do you know... I open the door and he was sitting near a window with a book (obviously) and a cup of coffee, I didn´t know if I how go and say hi, run out of there, pretend I didn´t see him. 

All these options were running in my head when I felt a presence behind me, I knew it was him because of his smell, his very specific smell, I turned around and saw him, my jaw dropped open, I didn´t know what to say, it had been a while but the feelings where still there, they never left. 

I tried to speak but couldn´t, the line was moving forward and felt the pressure to move as well, I pointed at the line... 

Y/N: Looks like it´s time to move (nervous laughter) 

SR: Come to my table when you get your coffee, okay? (almost pleading) 

Y/N: Sure. 

He left to his table; I could feel his eyes following my every move, after I ordered and got my coffee, I made my way to him... 

SPOILER: I know I said it was only part one and two but it was getting far too long so Im thinking its gonna be three parts!

Promise im already working on part three!!!!

LOST

Warning: Physical assault, drug use, whithdrawal, very angry Reid

Pairing: Spencer Reid X Reader

Consider youselves warned!

PART II 

I fell into a deep sleep, guess I was too tired to deal with the real world, had nightmares all night long, would wake up, see Penelope, ask her if we had news, waited for an answer and fall back into oblivion. 

Morning came; I still felt numb from all the information I received, Penelope never left my side, like some sort of guardian angel or a rottweiler, she told me we had somewhere to go and so I did, as I came out of the bathroom after cleaning myself up I saw him... but it wasn't him at all. 

He was being carried by Emily and Derek, his clothes were all mismatched, he looked almost unconscious, being dragged, his hair a mess, his sleeves rolled up, filled with needle marks, one shoe in one barely on his foot at all, his shirt half unbuttoned. 

Then he turned to look at me, his eyes bloodshot red, his nose red, dirty face, I furrowed my eyes trying to find the Spencer I knew but he simply wasn´t there, instead an angry demon took his soul, he was trying to fight his way out of Derek and Emily but was too weak, pale. 

My heart, soul and body left the BAU, I ran to the bathroom and threw up, it was mostly bile but still felt like it wasn´t enough, Penelope was like a helicopter mom, asking me all the time if I was okay in the bathroom when I clearly wasn´t. 

I wanted to scream, punch, throw up, pretend this wasn´t happening, wanted to run, wanted to slap Spencer, break up, hug him because he was alive, unwell but alive, my head was spinning so hard I asked Penelope to help me reach the bunkbeds again. 

Some time had passed; I asked what was going to happen to him? if I could see him? Talk to him? I had so many questions burning my throat. Penelope saw me cry, scream, shake and she stood by my side, brough food I was certain I wasn´t keeping down but still tried. Eventually Penelope went to ask if I could see Spence. 

I sat anxiously waiting for a response, palms sweating, leg bobbing, breaths short and inefficient, felt like forever but eventually Penelope walked in slowly, with sad eyes that told me everything I needed to know they weren´t letting me see him, I scoffed and walked pass Penelope, looked for either JJ or Agent Hotchner to talk to them. 

I finally saw agent Hotchner, stood in front of him like I wasn´t afraid of him (I clearly was) 

Y/N: I´m terribly sorry sir but I have to see him, now. 

AH:I´m afraid that is not possible at the moment, Dr. Reid is still going through withdrawal and can be very hurtful with his words, I do not recommend, however I can assure you miss he´s been taken care of. 

Y/N: With all due respect, sir, I need to see him, either you let me in, or I will find my way in one way or another. 

AH: I will only allow it if agent Morgan comes with you, I will not put you at risk at Dr.Reid´s state. 

Y/N: Agreed sir 

Agent Hotchner disappeared for a couple of minutes and came back with agent Morgan. They talked logistics with me, how to manage the situation and warned me that if Spence got physically aggressive, Agent Morgan would take charge. 

We made our way into a small room, I couldn´t see him, until Agent Morgan opened the door, I hesitated to walk in, I had no idea what was on the other side, I had never seen this side of him (apparently other people had), I was scared shitless to say the least, so agent Morgan walked in first. 

I could hear them talking, Spencer was kind of pleasing, to have one last fix, just one last time, he kept promising it was the last time, I took one last big girl breath and walked in. 

When I saw him, time stood still, seeing him so close it made me flinch. He was not him in any way, how he looked, spoke; it was like a ghost. 

Hi, Spence, how are you? 

SR: You did this to me, get out 

Y/N: I did what Spencer? 

SR: It´s all your fault... If you hadn't... I f you... If you could only mind your own fucking business, I was... I was fine... You... You just had to throw away my statch, I was handling it, I... I... I was fucking fine god damn it. (He threw a chair away, Agent Morgan looked at me, I started crying) 

Y/N: Who are you? 

SR: I was fine... I was fine... I was fine (we looked up at me with what I can only assume was pure hatred) 

DM: Time to go, I am not exposing you to more of whatever this is. 

SR: This? Whatever this is? This is reality, do not pretend you haven´t picked me up from a pig dive before Derek, do not pretend you haven´t drove me to the emergency room more than once, yeah, whatever this is... is real me Y/N. 

I was terrified, I could not recognize him I tried looking for him over and over again but all I saw was an overtired stranger that looked like the men I thought I loved, agent Morgan came, grabbed me by my arm and tried to push me to the door. 

SR: That´s right, run, just like everyone that doesn´t want to face the truth, you keep running you little... 

DM: HEY! (Screaming) Stop this! This is not her fault, you did this to yourself, looking for someone to blame kid... look in the God damn mirror. 

He tugged my arm firmly and directed me to the door, practically dragging me. This time, I obey him. 

Once I was out of there, tears threatened to appear. I stopped them, turned to look at Derek and said... 

Y/N: What now?  what happens to him now? I need to know what I´m getting myself into 

DM: Well, now we try rehab... again 

Y/N: AGAIN? How many times? (whispering) How many times has he been in rehab? 

Derek didn´t get a chance to respond as the rest of the team comes into the bullpen where we were. 

AH: Now, now he gets admitted into a rehabilitation facility, hopefully for the last time, already made the call, taking him there after work, didn´t want the scandal of dragging him out, now Y/N, it´s totally your decision, however, you will be given the information to where Reid will be staying for the near future, now you should go home and get some rest, as we all should. 

With that, we were all dismissed, I had no idea when I got home, was so tired i drove in autopilot, took a shower and laid in bed, couldn´t sleep, too many questions burning my mind and soul. 

A week passed by quicker than I thought it would, I already had all the info, I could go visit him if I wanted to (technically), but did I want to? What would I face? Would he be the same? Would he still blame me? Would he try and swing at me? With all this and work another week flew by without me vising him. Penelope texted me that she went to see him, tried to describe him for me but what she said seemed unreal. 

Week three and I finally put on my big girl pants and went to visit him, the drive there felt eternal, hesitated to just turn around, not visit, disappear, move out of the apartment and never see him again but I couldn´t, loved him to much. After parking I got into a severely depressing hallway, all white, not a splash of color could be found, nurses, doctors, assistants, all in scary white. 

I approached the desk and asked for him, the nurse told me he was playing chess, of course I thought, and went to the playroom slowly. 

Could you do a Spencer x reader fic where reader helps Spencer after being kidnapped and with the dilaudid addiction

Thank you ☺️

OMG!

Took me a while, took me to places I don´t love haha

LOST

WARNINGS:

use of drugs, OD mentions, sad, real sad, also part one of two (was getting too long), faint, panic attack,

Pairing Spencer Reid x Reader

I did not sign up for this, I wanted out, I wanted out so bad, but I loved him, he meant more to me than everyone ever could, however the situation spiraled out of control I did not realize when we got to this point, I had no idea how to deal with addiction, I had never even went pass a glass of wine, so to say this surpassed me was clearly an understatement. 

It all began maybe three months ago, when I was cleaning my apartment and found needles stuffed in weird places around the house, most of them in the bathroom, some had some kind of liquid, I didn´t even ask and threw them all out, when Spencer came home after a longer case than usual I told him about the needles in a funny kind of way (or so I though), I definitely did not see Spencer´s reaction come the way it did it went something like: 

Y/N: Hey Spence, so I found some needles while cleaning, threw them away, didn´t know you needed shots honey, I could have helped. 

SR: You did what? (Whisper shouting) 

Y/N: Did you need them for something Spence? 

SR: I...I...I... I have to go 

He grabbed his satchel and went to the door, I could see his desperation, tried to stop him, ran to his side and tried to get in his way so he wouldn´t leave, but when I stared into his eyes... he wasn´t there I got so scared I took a step back and let him go. 

I kept calling him for the next several days, no response, I would tell myself he needed space, he needed to breath, a break, anything to keep me on the rails, until a week went by and I hadn´t heard from him, so very scared I called Aaron Hotchner. 

It was late at night, the kind of hour you know you won´t sleep and you just keep turning and turning trying your best to catch some sleep, so you finally grabbed your cellphone and dialed... 

Y/N: Hello, hi, mmm... I, I´m... I´m so sorry to bother you sir, I´m Y/N Spencer´s girlfriend (under her breath) or so I though, ammm, again I´m so so terribly sorry but Spencer left my house a week ago and I haven´t heard from him, I´m terribly worried ( You were almost crying at this point), has he showed up to work. 

AH: (In a deep tired voice, the kind of voice you know comes from an exhausted men) As a matter of fact, no, he has not come to the office, the did come about a week ago to ask for a leave of absence to go see his mother at her home, we have not heard from him since, maybe JJ has, just a second, I´ll go get her. 

The line goes quiet for a bit, a million thoughts crossing my mind in the minute it took JJ to hold the phone, I was in terrible fantasy land when the sound of the phone being picked up threw me back to reality like a bucket of ice. 

JJ: Hi! How are you! 

Y/N: (Sobbing hard) I can´t find him JJ, he´s gone, please tell me you know something, tell me he´s alright and I´m exaggerating like he always says I do. 

JJ: Hey, hey, calm down, talk to me, are you talking about Spence? He said he went to see his mom... 

Y/N: He´s not answering any of my calls JJ... we... we... (This is where you start crying for real) ... 

You explained everything to JJ, you didn´t know her that much, but you knew she was Spencer´s best friend, he told her everything, like the first time he told you he loved you, your first date, first kiss, just... everything... 

By the end, you could tell JJ was anxious by the sound of her breaths. 

JJ: I´m putting you on speaker so everyone can hear you, so we can find him, we will find him... I promise. 

Agent Hotchner told me to go to the BAU, grabbed some clothes, put them in a bag and headed there, while driving a lot of thoughts came to mind, I was scared for him, his team, for me, for us, God damn it I was terrified for us, I didn´t know my way into the BAU so Penelope Garcia was waiting for me by the elevator to take me up, I was so scared I think I was actively shaking, we all said our hellos and introductions (to the ones I haven´t met yet) and repeated my story to everyone, they all went really quiet, like they were holding a secret they did not want me to know, there eyes were all soft, almost pitiful, I hated that. 

Y/N: So? Come on, I won't break, tell me whatever you have to tell me, I can handle it 

JJ: It´s just...we though Spence was past it... we didn´t know he was back to it... to using 

Y/N:To What? JJ, please tell me 

Then the whole team sat down and told me a horrible tale about a case they have had about 8 months ago, how the unsub made Spencer do things he didn´t want to do, got him hocked on Dilaudid and how he had presumably went clean but clearly had not. 

I could feel the tears running down my face, but was unable to move, I was frozen, just listening, my legs wouldn´t respond, my hands felt both numb and burning at the same time, I could feel a hand trying to reach me and my shoulder flitching at the warmth, I could barely see through my blurry eyelids. 

When they finished, I tried to breath but couldn´t, the lack of oxygen made me faint, woke up on a bunk, with a severely worried Penelope Garcia next to me, my mouth was dry, my limbs felt heavy, my eyes weighted a ton, I continue to lay there, I could hear Penelope talking, I could hear the reassurance words coming out of her mouth but couldn´t register any... All I could think was where are you, Spencer Reid? 

I´M SO SORRY!

OMG I LOVE THIS!

FAMILIARITY

James Wilson X Reader

No warnings just fluff

Answering to a request

Got carried away in the romance sorry not sorry!

Being married to Dr. James Wilson was difficult in many ways but being able to wake up next to him even if it happened only once in a while was heaven. 

The light snoring when he was deep asleep, his smell of either cologne after a long shift at the hospital of sweet essence of his shampoo when he had the time to shower after work, it didn't matter, you loved smelling him, feeling his soft skin filled with freckles (specially his back), his long fingers, carefully taken care of (so much so you could swear he had regular manicures), the ruffle of his hair, the sheepish smile after he opens one eye to look at you loved all of him. 

JAMES WILSON POV:  

After what felt like forever I came back home after a week away at a boring place in boring Alabama to meet boring doctors and faking what felt like a ton of smiles, I was on my way home, next to her, where I belonged, I ignored everyone during the flight, not being able to focus on anything else than being by her side, I called in advance and she said she had a surprise for me, probably dinner and couch cuddles followed by small kisses, followed by a short chase to the couch... and I was letting my imagination get the very best of me and it wasn't helping nor my anxiety nor my pants. 

As soon as we landed, I almost ran to get my luggage and sprinted home, I seriously could not wait any longer to be in her arms. I could smell the cooking from the outside of the apartment, I love many things, but her cooking was one of my favorites, just couldn´t get enough of it. I opened the door and heard her humming in the kitchen. Soon the air changed, it got thick, tension could be cut with a knife, as I approached the kitchen, I stopped hearing her humming and instead heard a little squeal coming from her lips. As soon as she saw me, she ran to my arms drooping whatever she had in hand and wrapped herself around me. 

JW: Missed you too hon 

Y/N: Oh! You have no idea! Felt like forever... 

JW: Agreed (followed by a soft kiss to her cheek and then move to kiss her softly on her cherry plum lips). 

Y/N: So, the menu for tonight´s your favorite, besides myself may I add, come, sit, eat, sorry, that came out like a dog command, I´m just nervous. 

JW: Happy to oblige  

I sat down after leaving my luggage at the door and I washed my hands, I could hear her in the kitchen serving, moving around and a smile creeped out on my lips. She came out of the kitchen with plates and glasses of wine (seemed like magic how she handled it all by herself). I could still feel her nervousness even though she tried to hide it with an equally nervous smile, she disappeared again and rose back with more food. She finally sat down and asked to know everything from my trip, even though it was as boring as it could be, she listened, attendly, carefully, asking questions, like nothing else existed but us, made me love her even more (if that was possible). 

After diner we moved to the couch with a glass of wine (just as I predicted it), we talked some more, she fell asleep listening to what I can only call an extremely boring conference explanation, so I carried her to our shared room, laid her down slowly on the mattress, looked at her for a while, just resting, so calm, so peaceful so lovingly. I caressed her temple and she hummed ever so lightly, snuggled more into the bed and I started to get ready for bed. 

I was brushing my teeth in the bathroom, only light coming into the bedroom, soft yellow light illuminating her face and body gently on the bed, suddenly I heard her loud gasp followed by a sheepish... 

Y/N: Haven't brushed my teeth 

I ran to her side because I thought something was wrong, I sat next to her and whispered... 

JW: Hon, is everything all right?  

She suddenly got up fast without looking at me and went to the bathroom, all I could hear was the faucet running, all I could do was try to hide the wide grin coming to my lips and whisper... 

JW: Well, ladies and gentlemen, this is my wife. 

She came back like she had stopped war in the middle east, took a deep breath and said: 

Y/N: Sorry, didn´t mean to startle you 

JW: It´s okay honey, come to bed to me. 

And so, she did, she snuggled next to me, her head nursed on the crook of my neck, I could feel her taking a deep breath trying to absorb as much of me as she could and just like that, she fell asleep, making everything in the world a lot better. 

I heard her alarm go off at exactly 5:30 am, she struggled to find her phone to turn it off, unsuccessfully she started to get to achieve her goal, but my arms wrapped around her waist pulling her back to me made her laugh softly. 

Y/N: James come on... 

JW: (in a rough sleepy voice) just five more minutes please (I tugged her arm and she softly fell on me and once again she laughed amused) 

Y/N: Okay... just five more minutes, my love... 

Wilson xfem reader

Wilson by mistake triggers readers sexual trauma during sex?