Pinky McPink

WHY DID A TWELVE YEAR OLD TRY TO BUY A KNIFE AT WORK TODAY!? WHY DID HE THINK HE'D HAVE THE ABILITY TO BUY ONE!? WHAT'S HAPPENING IN HIS LIFE WHERE HE NEEDS A KNIFE!?

Does anyone else get away with doing stuff at work or school but if your coworkers or friends do the exact same thing they get in trouble for it?

Just overhead some lady complaining that she was hot and this other lady said she wasn't hot she was just sexy covered in sweat

I'm not good at telling when someone flirts with me unless it makes me uncomfortable. Usually it's just really old men but today I'm almost certain a cannibal flirted with me because of my bath and bodyworks lotion

SAW A HUGE FUCKING SPIDERWEB TAKING UP THE SIDEWALK NOW I GOTTA WALK IN THE STREET

You thought I was a regular plague doctor but it was me, Medusa, all along!

I wonder how many battlefields have been turned into buildings

Season 9 of SpongeBob took five years to make

Does anyone else have this weird mixture of being touch starved that you just want to be hugged but then some random stranger lightly touches your arm or something and all you can think is how dare you!?

I want a dress like the snow Queen's not Elsa

Sometimes I forget tall people used to be babies and occasionally when I see one my mind is like, how did their mom give birth to THAT

I accidentally made a mantra while cleaning my room and then I pause and am like, if someone were home they'd think I was crazy

Lately the Walmart I work at has been playing the Batman theme followed directly by a beyoncé song. Now whenever it happens my coworkers start singing beauty and the beast.

What kind of vibe am I giving off where a complete stranger just hands me their puppy and tells me to watch them for a few minutes then walks away