Retrograde
i don't know what's wrong with me but i have this intense itch all over my body & it's unbearable for the most part but it's in my skin, and every time i scratch at the surface to see what's underneath i find you and my childhood playing tag, the two most influential and unconscious predestined events to ever happen to me playing double dutch, having a laugh, enjoying one another's company, discussing the many things they have in common, i have this burning desire for justice, wanting what's fair to be done, i have this expectancy of the universe to do wrong onto those who have done wrong to me, i want it to catch their shoes strings in escalators and get sucked through like paper in a shredder, i want them to live a life with nothing but complacency and an awful connection in the bedroom with everyone they meet, but that wouldn't be fair would it?
i have given coupons to men who have tried to purchase me with $3 and half a benzo only because i care for the less fortunate, why're they going to buy me the world when my own price tag says clearance? my selection in men have your footprints, i have your face burned into the back of my mind i'm looking at my own abuser in the face and he is 50% of me, i think i'm gonna throw up, im scared that i'll never be able to outlive your name i'm scared that the last thing i think of when i die is you, i need this closure i know you won't give it to me but i want to see that look on your face when i actually say it out loud, a demon will die in me that day
