THIS LAZY GIRL

I learned from a very young age to make people believe about me exactly what I want them to. I learned how to walk, sit, move, and even eat in a way that makes me seem in complete control of myself and my surroundings, even when I’m feeling completely overwhelmed and out of place. I learned to hide my anxieties and insecurities in a way that everyone thought I was always calm and put together. I also learned how to get people to trust me and tell me everything about them by masterfully displaying those very weaknesses. I’ll share some of my tips tonight, these tips might help you seem in complete control, help you get what you want and even who you want ;)

WHEN YOU’RE ALONE AMONGST A LOT OF PEOPLE - If you’re alone don’t stress about the fact that you are, don’t worry about looking like a loser because you won’t. > When you’re alone be sure to keep your posture. ALWAYS TAKE NOTE OF YOUR POSTURE. I cannot stress how important your posture is. Look up how to keep a proper posture. >Snack slowly and take small bites, small and assured sips of your drink. Not too slow, just measure yourself. > Learn how to strut. When you walk across the room to sit, to snack, or just anywhere, don’t slack on your walking. Chin up, stare straight ahead, perfect posture, and have a very slight smile. The world is your catwalk, and yes people will be paying attention when you least notice it.

WHEN SOMEONE APPROACHES YOU - If they’re a close friend you don’t have to worry much about how to talk to them because you know them, but your behavior still matter. > When talking to them make sure you pay close attention to them and what they’re saying. No extreme reactions, unless they truly said something shocking. > Smile a lot, let others see that you can be approachable. Also, they’re your close friend you should be smiling anyway. - If they’re someone you barely know then just breathe in, smile, release your breath slowly and greet them politely. > Ask then questions about their life you have some knowledge about. Ask about their family, pets, children, partners, work/school, make sure they’re the ones speaking more than you are. - If they’re a stranger wait until they’re immediately in your personal space to acknowledge them, then meet and greet them only after they have directly addressed you. Keep an easy smile on your face, and when meeting them change your smile according to the impression you want to make (dazzling smile to charm, smirk to seduce, smile politely for anyone else). > For strangers you don’t know anything about them, ask them about things you are at least somewhat curious about. Ask them about their current standing in terms of job and or studies. Ask them about family and hobbies. Anything you would like to know or need to know to get some info on them. > Make a lot of eye contact, but not too much, but make sure to keep your attention on them. Make them feel that you care about what they’re saying.

WHEN YOU’RE IN A GROUP Besides all the other things about posture, eye contact and smiling, when you’re in a group this is where the whole “pay them complete attention” does not apply. In a group make sure to pay attention to everyone speaking, let everyone have a turn at your attention. People who were steamrolled out of a conversation you ease them back in either by giving them your attention and let them speak to you directly, or if you’re feeling bold politely call out the person or people who steamrolled over them by calmly stating “I’m sorry to interrupt but [their name] was speaking, I want to know what they were going to say.” Don’t do that if you don’t feel confident, or if you care about possibly offending others, you should still operate within your comfort zone so that you can portray a genuine look of collected confidence.

NOW YOU’RE IN, HOW TO GET THEM TO TRUST YOU - This is when you can start showing people bits of your true self. You should have real stories and anecdotes ready for when you get the chance to use them. - Real stories and anecdotes are crucial because believe it or not people are actually adept at intuitively spotting liars. If the stories and anecdotes are real, with genuine feeling attached to them, they can’t spot any lies because they will be the truth. - Manipulating people is not about lying, it’s about using the truth to your advantage. Avoid lying and avoid exaggerating, so that everything you say and do is genuine. - The stories and anecdotes you use must have some connection to the context of the conversation or the person you’re with. Don’t bust out a story of a dying pet when the person you’re with never even had a pet. Don’t talk about how you once failed an exam when the conversation was about this concert he went to with his friends last week. Talk about things in context, and if you have no material for a certain context then don’t stress, you don’t need to have something to say for everything. For every time you talk to them only share one personal story, avoid using more because then that shows too much of you. - You want to show some humanity, but not too much because you want them to still believe that you’re some ethereal and strong entity that could probably crush them if they cross any lines.

*****EDITED*****

i’m done with finals thank the lawd so i thought i’d compile a list of useful stuff and personal advice regarding personal hygiene or whatever :))

hair:

tips:

when showering, try to keep shampoo away from your ends. they dry out much more quickly, and shampoo strips away any natural oils or moisture in your ends, meaning your hair will look frizzy even after conditioner. the hair closer to your scalp is the only part that needs to be cleaned anyway. blake lively, the goddess of hair herself, swears by this.

don’t condition your hair near your scalp!! this will inevitably create product/oil buildup and will make your hair greasy and flat. only use it on your ends (for longer hair, start at the nape of ur neck and work toward the ends). also, let your conditioner sit for a minute or two after applying. i usually shave or wash my face while it sits so i make sure it has time to work its magic.

instead of wrapping wet hair in a towel twist, try the old t-shirt twist! t-shirts are much gentler and less abrasive against delicate wet hair, which, you guessed it, reduces frizz.

when brushing wet hair, start at the ends and work your way up. if you have to put in product before you brush it, like me, use a different brush at the scalp to reduce any product buildup/greasiness/flatness.

don’t go to bed with your hair wet. not only can you develop mold/bacteria in your hair if it stays wet too long (GROSS), wet hair is a lot more prone to breakage (meaning the more you toss and turn, the frizzier your hair will be). the main reason i advise against it is because it makes your scalp itch like crazy and can make your roots look oily the next day.

please use heat protectants before drying/heat styling your hair!!

if you have dandruff, get some selsun blue or neutrogena T-gel shampoo. they will save your life and your scalp.

don’t use scalding hot water when showering, ESPECIALLY if you have colored hair. not only does it basically strip color from your hair, it’s bad for your hair texture and health. try to use warm to cool water (the colder the water, the shinier your hair!! it helps seal the hair shaft).

if your hair lacks body, especially near the scalp, it could be the result of product buildup. try using a clarifying shampoo once every two weeks or so depending on your hair’s thickness.

if your hair is still flat, try changing your part! it instantly changes your look and can immediately add volume.

try to get your hair trimmed every 6 months, at the least.

sea salt spray creates instant body and texture on most hair types. it is especially great if you have wavy to curly hair or short hair. one of my favorites is organix moroccan oil sea salt spray– you can find it at drugstores for a great price and it works beautifully, plus the moroccan oil adds shine and softness. another good and even cheaper one is nym sea salt spray (also available at most drugstores).

coconut oil is a godsend. use it as a hair mask, an after-shower detangler, a product in place of smoothing creme, or put a tiny bit on your fingers to smooth flyaways. you can basically use it for whatever u want. just make sure it’s organic or else you’re not helping your hair much lol. if you can splurge on it, argan oil is an even better option for the same uses.

tutorials/resources:

how to trim your split ends at home

how to cut your own hair at home (at your own risk, of course!)

homemade hair masks: 1 | 2 | 3

homemade brown sugar scalp scrub

how to french braid your own hair

how to fishtail braid

how to waterfall braid

diy: how to go from dark to blonde hair the healthy way  (great tutorial if you’re bleaching your hair or dyeing it a pastel color!!)

ion professional hair care products (dyes, toners, etc – cheap but amazing quality!)

body:

tips:

use an unscented pH balanced bar soap, such as dove or aveeno, to prevent dryness, acne, or any harsh chemicals from damaging your skin. this is especially important when washing your underarms, ya bizness, and any other sensitive areas.

liquid body wash actually tends to clog pores more than bar soap, so if you have body acne, try cleansing with bar soap instead.

the best way to get rid of body acne is to use a spray with salicylic acid after drying your skin post-shower. my favorite is acnefree, but neutrogena body clear and nature’s cure are also great. if you have long hair, try to keep it off your back/shoulders, especially when wet/after applying product.

if you have keratosis pilaris, also known as KP (google for images), the best way to get rid of it is to exfoliate with either a sugar scrub or a gentle exfoliator in the shower, then moisturize immediately after you dry off. it’s really just the result of dry skin, so if you maintain it you could get rid of it. this goes for dry skin in general.

if you shave, always buy men’s razors. you get a much closer and smoother shave since they’re made for faces instead of legs. i know they’re not cute or colorful, but you can get more razors as well as more/better blades for less money. i can get 5 men’s disposable razors with 4 blades each for $8, instead of 3 women’s razors with 3 blades each for like $11. it’s a conspiracy. buy men’s razors please. dismantle the constructs of gender

moisturize when you get out of the shower, after you dry off a little. it will help your skin retain moisture better and make your skin softer, since water and soap dry it out. i usually use aveeno, eucerin, aquaphor body lotion since they’re all great for sensitive skin and absorb quickly.

please shower after you work out or sweat a lot. you will prevent body acne, bacteria buildup, yeast infections, smelling horrendous, and even staph infection (particularly if you go to the gym). you don’t have to wash your hair every time unless you’re drenched in sweat but please shower.

underarms are sensitive children who will throw tantrums if you don’t pay them proper attention. try to find deodorant without aluminum or any weird preservatives to prevent rashes. i recommend tom’s deodorant or making your own.

if you have really dry, cracking feet, try putting vaseline or a thick lotion (i use burt’s bees coconut foot creme) on your feet, put on socks, and keep them on overnight. it will feel a little weird and squishy at first, but after a few days you will definitely find it worth the weirdness!!

tutorials/resources:

diy recipe for the greatest body scrub ever (literal magic i’m so serious)

diy deodorant: 1 | 2 | 3

diy coffee body scrub

at-home manicure

at-home pedicure

diy bath soaks: 1 | 2 | 3

dollar shave club

face:

tips:

i cannot stress enough how amazing coconut oil is as a makeup remover (especially wonderful for eye makeup!!). just make sure you wash your face afterward as coconut oil can be comedogenic for some skin types.

if you have one of those god-awful huge, painful blemishes, mix coconut oil or argan oil with some 100% tea tree oil (dilute the tea tree oil like this or you WILL get a rash) and use it as a spot treatment. the oil balances the oils on your skin, while the tea tree oil kills bacteria. please note that this may not work for everyone as everyone has different skin.

be gentle when dealing with your skin, especially with pulling and tugging around your eyes. you will thank me when you’re older.

don’t listen to vogue or cosmo and don’t start using anti-aging products in your twenties. please. you don’t need it. do incorporate sun protection into your daily routine. get a moisturizer with spf in it to protect your skin and use it in the mornings. this will prevent wrinkles and, more importantly, skin cancer.

wash your face first thing in the morning to get rid of all the nasty excess oil you produce in your sleep. wash it before you go to bed (after removing makeup) too.

after washing your face, apply a toner (or, if you have acne, a treatment containing salicylic acid. i use clearisil 5 in 1 pads or neutrogena natural spot treatment), let it dry, and then moisturize. this is so important. i don’t care who you are or your skin type. when you apply acidic products or wash your face without moisturizing it, your skin gets stripped of natural oils/moisture and then panics by creating an excess of oil, meaning you get greasy skin and acne. get a moisturizer that works with your skin type and i promise you will notice a difference if you don’t already use it.

if you wear makeup and want to go for a quick/easy/natural/no-makeup look, or if you don’t have time to do your full face, or if you think you look dead bc you didn’t sleep, you don’t need to do a bunch of extra stuff. just cover up any acne with concealer, put on some blush and mascara, and then leave everything else alone. blush is magical and will instantly make you look fresh and young and alive and pretty.

don’t touch your acne. the more you touch it, the worse it gets. if you have to…pop it (i’m sorry that’s so gross i couldn’t think of another way to say it), just make sure you wash your hands first and disinfect/put acne treatment on it directly afterward. STOP trying to do anything if you see blood or if it gets too painful.

clean your phone screen and glasses frames with an alcohol swab every few days to keep your face clean.

please, for the love of god, don’t put lemon juice or baking soda on your face. it is so corrosive. don’t listen to pinterest. also, don’t use sugar scrub or body exfoliator on your face as it’s way more delicate than your body’s skin.

if you get a lot of chin-area acne, it could be a hormonal issue. talk to your doctor about birth control, and if you’re already taking it then make sure you’re taking it regularly (which you should be anyway omg)

wash/change your sheets and pillowcase(s) every two weeks at the VERY LEAST. imagine how much nastiness gets on your pillowcase from hair products, oil, dead skin…i don’t even wanna think about what gets on it. plus, fresh sheets always make everything better :)

drink lots of water every day. your skin needs it.

above all, love your skin. be gentle to it. treat it well. it will love you back if you do.

diy face masks: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

acne face chart

best blush shades for your skin tone

how to shape and groom your brows

winged eyeliner tutorial

how to use liquid liner

easy ways to change your look

how to get rid of dark circles

edit: i made some changes to the post and deleted one or two suggestions as several people have reminded me that coconut oil is not a viable option for everyone’s skin type. it can be comedogenic for oilier skin types so please use at your own risk. argan oil is non-comedogenic but also more expensive than coconut oil, so if you can spare the extra cash it is absolutely worth it.

Smell Like a Cupcake Goddess (on a budget)

- use those Forever21 Exfoliating Gloves ($1.90) with Caress Exfoliating Evenly Gorgeous Body Wash ($4.00)

-for those days you want to look extra glowy mix coconut oil, white sugar, and vanilla extract and make a scrub. this shi will leave you so soft and glowy oh my godddd

-when you hop out of the shower slather Queen Helene Cocoa Butter Cream ($5.00) all over your body it smells like heaven( this also is a great face moisturizer)

- you can also mix coconut oil and vanilla extract together to make a lighter body lotion

-since I’m extra and all my products need to go together you best believe my deodorant is Secret Va Va Vanilla ($6.00)

-now this is the priciest product but this is what gets me the absolute most compliments Coconut Passion Body Mist ($18.00 but there’s always online sales for $6) from VS is a staple for me. I’m constantly told I smell amazing.

•When in doubt wear it in black, white or grey

• Have at least one outfit that makes you feel like a BOSS ASS BITCH whenever you need a pick me up where it. You don’t even need to wear it out if you don’t want to, wearing it around the house will make you feel killer

• NEVER buy something you will only where once or with that one pair of jeans

• Don’t leave the house with sweatpants or leggings and jumpers on unless you are going to workout. It will make you feel like crap all day. Don’t get me wrong you have the right to be comfy but just make sure that what you wear makes you feel like a million dollars and other people will notice how damn fine you are.

• Have a colour scheme for your wardrobe and stick to it. If everything can go together you will never not look put together and classy.

• Don’t waste your money on trends they are trends for a reason - THEY WONT LAST

• If you want to look expensive buy clothes that fit you or get them fitted.

• Clean lines look chic and beautiful IRON YOUR DAMN CLOTHES

• Know what looks good on you and what you look good in, bear in mind that they may not be the same thing so have outfits that do both as well as one or the other. Cover all your options

• Become confident flaunting what you got, you look amazing.

• DONT THINK THAT SPANKS ARE SHAMEFUL. STOP SLEEPING ON THEM. THEY ARE THE SHIT. LOVE THEM AND USE THEM.

• Don’t make rash decisions when it comes to buying clothes make sure it’s good material and truly looks good. Sleep on decisions they may be the best one you ever made.

• MAN MADE MATERIALS LIKE POLYESTER LOOK CHEAP CAUSE THEY ARE. Save your money and buy 100% cotton or linen or silk or satin etc. Don’t buy man made materials they look cheap and don’t last.

I know at least one person who has lost all motivation now that summer has begun. There’s something about not being in a regular, structured environment full of like-minded peers that just kinda brings people down, you know? However, you don’t have to succumb to feeling gross now that summer is here. Here are five tips that can be completed in five minutes to make life feel a little better.

Wash your face.

It doesn’t have to even be a full wash. In summer, sometimes a facial wipe-down with a damp cloth can do wonders. It’s cool, it’s refreshing, and it can help energize you to do whatever you wanna get done.

Put away three items.

Right now, look to your right and put away the first three items you see that are out of place. You can keep going if you want. It’s not required, though! Just three seems to be enough for me to feel useful but not put-upon. Plus, now your living space is three items tidier, which is good for morale.

Light a candle and watch it flicker.

Meditation is boring. That’s fair. However, watching a candle burn is similar, in that it allows your mind to empty out and focus on nothing. I could watch a fire burn for ages, lost in my thoughts. Plus, most candles smell nice. Bonus!

Change clothes.

If you’re in a summer funk, I’d bet money you’re wearing at least one article of clothing that you’ve been living in for about a day too long. Go change, now. I feel the most human on days where I dress nice and wear my fancy linen cardigan. You probably have a similar outfit. Go wear it.

Drink a glass of water.

I have once again lost my good water bottle, so I have a new one coming in the mail. Until then, and for the past few weeks, I will be and have been dehydrated. Dehydration can mess with your head in a bunch of ways, none of them good. My willpower decreases, I get lazier, and I don’t sleep as well. So drink a glass of water for me and maybe we’ll both feel better.

Just Like Me! Box

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Keeping a journal or planner, or both, is a great habit for organizing, stress management and creativity. Also its fun getting to actually fill all those notebooks you’ve been collecting and hoarding isn’t it? I put together this masterpost to get you started planning and journaling and for improving and learning new things!

Remember there is no ‘right’ way to use a journal or planner and if you fall out of the habit you can always pick it up again whenever you want! 

Journaling and Planner Resources for 2015

Getting Started

Why Use a planner?

Why write a journal?

How-To use a planner for time management (specifically written for adults with ADHD but the same strategies apply to everyone!)

How-to combat anxiety by journaling

How-To Use a planner for school

Journaling to combat mental illness

How-To Journal

“What should I do with this blank notebook?”

Journal Writing is good for your health and well-being

More Ideas for Journaling and Notebooks

Yet another list of journal and page insert ideas

Calendar Printables/Make Your Own Planner

In depth Daily Planner Printable

2-Week Schedule Planner Printable

Printable Monthly Calendar

Printable complete planner for bloggers

TONS of printables including lists

Huge printable weekly planner/to-do list

Daily planner/to-do list printable

Beautiful Chalk-Board Style to-do list printable

Build-Your-Own Journal with downloads and printables

Setting up a filofax planner

Productivity and Journaling Systems

How to Bullet Journal

Another Post on Bullet Journaling

And Another post on Bullet Journaling

Ok one more Bullet journaling post

Printable Bullet Journaling Reference Card

“Don’t Break the Chain” Printable with Explanation Video

9 Lists to keep updated

“Top Six” Daily Planning/Goals/Time Management with printable

Planner System including Goals and weekly/daily planning

Really Cool Journaling Life Hack

How to Use a Chronodex

Goal-Setting

Personal Goal Setting Strategies

2015 Year Goals printable

Another Year Goals printable

Beautiful Monthly Goals Printable

Printable with Monthly/Weekly/Daily goals all in one

Goals printable with customizable sections and deadlines

S.M.A.R.T. Goal-Setting Worksheet Printable

2014 Resolutions and Goals Printable

How To make a useful To-Do List

Creative Journaling and Prompts for Journal Writing

50 prompts for an ‘inspiration’ journal

365 Creative Writing Prompts - great for a daily exercise!

Other kinds of Journals

How to write a Travel Journal

Another Example of a Travel Journal

How to make a Dream Home Journal

Examples and How-Tos on art and travel journals

More Printables

Project Planning Worksheet Printable

Grocery Shopping Printable

Personal Wishlist printable

Turn any quote into a graphic to print! (works for creative labels too!)

Tips for Beautiful Pages

Video classes on calligraphy and lettering

“I don’t like my handwriting!” Bonus

Ideas to keep planners and journals pretty

More tips on keeping planners pretty

Visual Journaling pt 1 pt 2 pt 3 pt 4

Supplies ideas for cute journaling/Planners

How to use washi tape and scrap booking paper in your planner

Customize your notebook or planner!

Tons of DIYs for notebook covers

DIY How to make a fabric cover for your notebook

DIY projects for journals and supplies

DIY Make an Art Journal out of an old book

Blogs for Inspiration

writingnotebooks.tumblr.com

rebeccablairart.tumblr.com

artjournaling.tumblr.com

finleythefilofax.tumblr.com

1. When you feel bogged down and you can’t clear your mind, do something physical or get some exercise.

2. Set a time limit for your “thinking time” then make yourself move on to doing something else.

3. Interrupt the thinking process or distract yourself by diverting your attention onto something very different.

4. Stop discussing what concerns you with everyone you meet as you’ll just end up confused, and you won’t know what to do.

5. Accept that uncertainty is part of this life, and we don’t have all the facts, or know what’s further down the road.

6. Throw yourself into a project, a hobby or some work. That will force you to refocus on something else instead.

I want to be a better me and I ain’t getting to 10k looking how I’m looking. 

I’m getting a new wig.

I’m going to up my exercise routine.

I’m going to buy new tighter clothing, modesty ain’t doing shit for me.

I’m getting some expensive wispy eyelashes

I’m getting veneers.

I’m going to wear heels at all times. To the grocery store, to the bank, to the financial aid office at my school lol.

I gotta look like money man because I want to be snapped up.

I want to be a solid size 8 with a size 6 waist. Right now I’m a size 10 with a size 8 waist. 

Watch your wife’s beauty secretly.

Whenever you have the opportunity, offer her a flower or a bouquet of flowers with a smile.

sit in the sun without anything to do, feel the heat of the rays hit your skin, realize that this sunlight has travelled a very long way to reach you

walk around barefoot and try to feel as much of the ground under your feet as you can, notice every rock and blade of grass

sit quietly for a while and notice the touch of breath in your nostrils, feel how the air gets cooler as you inhale and warmer as you exhale

drive around aimlessly and blast some of your favorite songs, scream/sing along to them and feel the vibrations of your favorite lyrics as they change the air in your throat and around you, feel that the music is healing you from the inside out

stay away from alcohol or drugs for a few days, try to be as aware and present as you can in every moment, stop trying to numb or dull your senses

eat a few meals without any distractions, notice every bite and taste every flavor that covers your tongue, be grateful for it all