You have me right where I want me.

aquarium date? sorry, I mean museum date? sorry, I mean planetarium date? sorry, I mean botanical garden date? sorry, I mean grocery shopping together? sorry, I mean

one of the most infuriating things about becoming an adult is when you realize that it actually is 10x easier to solve problems by making a phone call vs literally any other communication method

there is no greater joy on this earth than Making Lists, Categorizing, & Sorting

i will not lie, friends in my phone, i have been imagining affection from time to time

[on the verge of having a complete breakdown] i need to make some kind of list or perhaps sort things into categories

every day i have to try and trick myself into thinking doing tasks is better than doing fuck all but my brain knows on an instinctive level that doing fuck all is my one true calling

HEARTBREAKING: Poor girl has to get out of the soft warm bed even though she is so so so so comfy

HEARTWARMING: Since it is night, girl finally gets to crawl back underneath the covers and be so so so so comfy

HEARTWRENCHING: Morning has come again, poor girl suspects she might be stuck in a Sisyphean curse

fungible should mean you can turn it into a mushroom

man who opened a parenthesis he forgot to close 4 years ago is tragically unaware everything he's said since has been an aside