♡

“I’m sorry if I ever pushed you away. I don’t know what’s up with me, I start thinking, then over thinking, and then nothing feels right. I’m just scared.”

“You push people away and build walls to protect your heart but the problem with that, is that sometimes, you get stuck behind them and there is no one left to save you.”

“We push away those who we want the closest to us.”

“One of the most lonely and haunted feelings in the world is when you reach for someone. Someone who once truly loved you and you thought would always be there. And your fingers close around empty space because you pushed them away. You are left with the flavour of loss sitting at the back of your throat. And you have no one to blame but yourself.”

“I wish I couldn’t care, but all I do is care. I care so fucking much about you and I keep asking why.”

Sometimes I think the loneliness inside of me is going to explode through my skin and sometimes I’m not sure if crying or screaming or laughing through the hysteria will solve anything at all. Sometimes I’m so desperate to touch, to be touched, to feel, that I’m almost certain I’m going to fall off a cliff in an alternate universe where no one will ever be able to find me.

“I have a lot of feelings I don’t really know what to do with nowadays. I don’t want them. I wish I could store them somewhere until they were useful. The words ‘I’m okay’ seem like a foreign language when they’re together without the word not in between them. Foreign to me, anyway. I don’t feel like I can use them without feeling like a horrible liar. They’re just words to me. There’s no emotion behind them - unless you count the fear that someone will realize I’m not and ask why. It’s always been better for me to break in silence. That way, no one sees it. That way, no one breaks with me if they care enough to be moved. Seems kind of twisted when you think about it. I want to be there for everyone else, but don’t want anyone to waste even a second on me. I want to read everyone, but when it comes to me, there are days I want to be read thoroughly and days when I don’t even want people to see my cover. I’m a hypocrite, a walking contradiction, a mess. If I could, I’d fast forward into the future. Maybe there, I’m not like this.”

“I ricordi hanno bisogno di molto tempo per sparire. Ma gli basta un nulla per riaffiorare. Una voce, un suono, un’immagine, un profumo, un odore.”