The Broken Poet

The dark, a distant reminder of the monsters that lurked through what should have been safe walls. 

It’s because I know I can only be tolerated at night.

When my mouth is too tired to speak,

But not too tired to bring my name from your lips.

When my heart is too tired to fight,

But never too tired to see you.

When my hands are too tired to push you away,

And giving in is easier anyway.

When I tell you I know I am fuckable, and not loveable,

I am not saying it for sympathy.

I am saying it so that you won’t feel bad when you see it too.

Colder than your heart has become over the past few years.

I dream of a softer version of you,

Even if I know that is a version I would have never met.

and I, your helpless doll.

pretty enough on the surface, but tug to hard and she may shatter.

and me,

in the end.

If I let yo u think i'm friendly,

Not a soul to tell me that I was destroying my beautiful skin.

In reality the boy does not kiss your scars and tell you that he's here,

don't ask them why when I asked you to come talk many times.

When I finally do it,

don't ask them if I suffered when you watched me suffer for years.

When I finally do it,

don't tell then I lit up the room when I was far from the life of the party.

When I finally do it.

Don't tell them how much you missed me when you never wanted to see me while I was here.

That I have swallowed so much of everyone else's,

Young, wild, and free.

Supposed to be the best time of your life,

So tell me,