Eepy Beach

season 3 predictions

yes this is just a "moon's haunted" joke what about it

"If you were going to go, you might as well go your own true shape."

I don’t believe in the Coffee Theory per se. I think the whole ‘drugged coffee’ thing is a bit too spy movie to be in Good Omens, but- BUT

The fact that that coffee is in the intro;

The fact that you can see The Metatron in line, waiting for his turn, BEFORE he gets into the coffee shop, like if he was an out of place detail you were supposed to notice and ask yourself questions about;

The very long and apparently superfluous dialogue about choosing coffee instead of death, and how “predictable” that is;

The fact that for two seasons we NEVER see Aziraphale drinking coffee, like that’s not his thing, that’s Crowley’s thing, he’s the “six-espressos-in-a-big-cup” guy, Aziraphale drinks hot chocolate or tea, and we have to assume The Metatron knows that, because he went into that coffee shop and asked for such a specific thing that makes you think that’s something he chose specifically for Aziraphale (who still doesn’t drink coffee, so why?).

He looks reluctant at the idea of drinking it at first

but he accepts it out of courtesy, I presume, and this is the face he makes when he tries it:

Even he is surprised he liked it. He’s on Earth since 6000 years, so we can assume he tried coffee before and chose not to drink it. He’s either lying about liking it out of courtesy, or this is the only coffee he’s ever enjoyed, and The Metatron knew he would have liked it and chose that coffee on purpose.

So, the coffee is either important as a physical element, as something that had an actual effect on Aziraphale and changed him somehow, or it’s important in its metaphorical significance. In Good Omens almost everything is metaphorical, so the second option is very likely.

Now, what’s the coffee supposed to represent? The only certain thing we know, is that the coffee is something The Metatron offers Aziraphale, so it probably represents the offer he’s about to make.

Considering the whole “Does anyone ever choose death?” conversation, considering the fact that we don’t know how the conversation between The Metatron and Aziraphale went, we only know the version Aziraphale chooses to tell Crowley, and considering The Metatron is the angel that decided to erase Gabriel’s memory just because he said “nah” about Armageddon 2.0 and Aziraphale is the traitor, the one who stopped the Armageddon 1.0, so The Metatron has no reason to be friendly with him, my question is:

Did Aziraphale actually have a choice?

Or the alternative was worse than leaving Crowley and the bookshop?

Was it actually coffee or death?

From series one we know that not only can Crowley and Aziraphale switch places, but Crowley can stop time. Check out this little number:

1. Before the kiss, the clock reads about 9:25

-This is the clock after

Obvi it’s a little blurry but it looks like it says 9:45. That may not have been the actual time but the minute hand still moved waaay more than it would’ve under regular circumstances. Crowley did something time altering we didn’t see while the clock ticked forward. I think they swapped places and maybe we’re making a plan for what to do next.

Exhibit 2:

The song on the Bentley isn’t best of Queen, so either the car is working differently because Aziraphale is driving, or Crowly put the disc in recently which is more sad and less fun given the circumstances.

Exhibit 3:

When has Crowley ever driven the speed limit? Maybe he’s just sad, maybe not.

Anyway, I’m mostly saying this because I’m in denial (aren’t we all?) but wouldn’t that be such a cool concept to have Crowley secretly acting as archangel to stop Armageddon, and perhaps Aziraphale goes undercover as a Duke of hell in season 3…?

Also the coffee is very suspicious for many reason but I’m not super focused on that.