I'M TRAUGHT, WHELMED, AND FEELING THE ASTER

“So you forced her–?”

“Jesus no! She wants to be with me, voluntarily. The only reason she didn’t wanna go out with me was you,” Jason explained.

“I know this isn’t what you wanted and I know you want to protect her but you know me Roy. You know I’d rather die than let anything happen to her. I wasn’t fucking around when I said I love her. I do, I really really love her. I know you said you don’t care about that but she’s quite literally the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I know that I’m fucked in the head I know that. I just…” he trailed off, flexing his hands as he looked down at the hardwood floor.

“I’m happy when I’m with her and I understand I don’t deserve that but I’m selfish enough to take it anyway. And for some god forsaken reason she actually likes being around me. I don't want to take that for granted either.” Jason finished rambling, closing his eyes for a beat before he let them land on Roy who was now silent and staring at Jason without blinking.

“Say something,” Jason urged.

“She’s my only family,” Roy murmured.

“I know.”

“I don’t trust anyone but me to keep her safe. To keep her out of this,” Roy said.

“I–” Jason began but quickly shut his mouth when Roy glared at him.

“Let me finish,” Roy added. “I do know you and if there was anyone else I’d trust with her it would be you.”

Jason’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline at Roy’s response because he had half a more speech prepared and then some. He furrowed his brows in confusion but quickly brushed it off as he tried not to let a smile break out on his face.

“Just don’t make me regret it.” Roy muttered, making his way towards the freezer to pull out an ice pack but failed to find it.

Jason didn’t even have frozen peas or ice that Roy could wrap in a towel. All he had was a baby blue ice roller.

“I won’t, I promise,” Jason finally let himself smile and plopped down on the couch.

Roy picked it up and raised an eyebrow at him. “Seriously?”

“It’s your sister’s,” Jason flushed, taking the roller from his hands before pressing it to his cheekbone.

“How long?” Roy pressed, sitting down on the couch.

“Today is our one month anniversary,” Jason murmured, a faint blush creeping on his face.

“Jason Todd celebrating a one month anniversary,” Roy huffed out a laugh. “Who would have thought.”

“She can be really persuasive,” Jason shrugged.

“Boy you have no idea,” Roy let out a laugh before he straightened up completely and looked at Jason with alert eyes. “Wait why the hell were you naked when I came in?”

“I’m not sure you’d like the answer,” Jason chuckled nervously.

“Dude,” Roy cringed. “Have you two…?”

“So,” Jason began and got up from the couch. “You really don’t wanna know,” he added, bolting towards his bedroom as Roy chased after him.

“That's my sister you asshole!” Roy yelled, running after Jason who opened the bedroom door and climbed on the bed behind you.

“Your sister is my girlfriend,” Jason goaded, leaning down to reach your sitting form to press a kiss to your head.

“What is happening…?” You asked in confusion, looking between Jason who was standing on the bed and Roy who was in the doorway.

“You’ve had sex with him?” Roy asked in an exasperated tone as he eyed you with a fiery gaze.

“Noooooo,” you replied, standing up on the bed as well to hide behind Jason. “I’m a virgin.”

“Even you don’t believe that,” Jason chuckled, pressing you closer into his back with a hand on your waist.

“Oh my god!” Roy exclaimed suddenly. “Was that you? In his bedroom when Dick and I were on that mission? You gave him hickeys?” He cringed, voice going up a few octaves while his face turned a little green with nausea.

“Stop asking questions you don’t want the answers to,” you quipped, hiding your face in Jason’s bicep.

“You know what?” Roy began, sitting down on Jason’s desk chair. “It’s our anniversary now. I’m not leaving. Let’s have dinner then we will all have a sleepover, I’ll sleep in between you two okay?”

“Yeah, you’re leaving,” you declared, throwing a pillow at your brother.

“No I’m not,” Roy retorted.

“You already ruined one of my surprises, you will NOT ruin another!” You snapped, getting off the bed with a pillow in your hand as you lunged towards Roy.

You began hitting his head with the pillow, making him let out little yelps as he held your wrists but you kicked his shin, making the both of you tumble down on the floor. Your hands reached his face, pressing down on the side of his jaw as Jason stared at the both of you sparring on the floor in disbelief.

“Leave!” You exclaimed, twisting his wrist.

“Stop fucking my best friend,” Roy yelled back, twisting your ankle.

You let out a small scream, pinching the sides of his waist. Roy yelped in response and managed to wiggle out of your grip, leaving you panting on the floor as he dusted his clothes and ran to the doorway.

“Good luck,” he said to Jason before making his way towards the living room to leave.

“Yeah,” Jason muttered under his breath and got off the bed, coming to stand in front of you.

“I don’t know if I’m scared or turned on right now,” he admitted, hands coming to rest on your waist.

“Good,” you panted. “You should always be a little scared of me.”

“Yes ma’am,” he smirked, pressing his lips against your jaw. “Told you he’d come around.”

“What did you say to him?” You asked, wrapping your arms around his neck as he trailed kisses down your throat.

“Don’t worry about it,” he breathed out, finally kissing your lips.

You hummed against his mouth, letting him walk you two backwards until you fell on the bed with Jason on top of you.

“I love you,” he murmured against your lips.

You giggled and raked your hand through his hair which was still a bit damp from your interrupted bath.

He pressed hot kisses along the side of your throat, tugging down the sleeve of his t-shirt you were wearing to expose your collarbones where he kept giving you open mouthed kisses, occasionally biting and nipping.

“Jason,” you mumbled in an attempt to get him off you.

“Hm?” He hummed, lips still pressed to your throat.

“Jasonnn,” you whined and put your hands on his shoulders to push him back. “Come on! I made dinner, it'll go cold!”

“In a minute,” he murmured, pushing your shirt up so he could plant kisses on your stomach.

“Jay!” You huffed out a giggle which finally made him come up to face you again.

“You called me Jay,” he grinned.

“I’m sorry, do you not like it?”

“I love it,” he murmured. “I love you,” he said again, giving you a peck on the nose.

“I love you too,” you smiled, kissing him on the chin. “Now let’s go!” You clapped your hands together and practically dragged Jason outside with a grip on his wrist.

While you served the dinner, Jason went to the bathroom to take care of your unfinished bath as he blew out the candles and drained the water. You pulled out mismatched dishes from the cabinet, serving the pasta on them before setting them on the dining table next to the flowers Jason got you.

You rummaged through the cabinets again, looking for two wine glasses to pour wine into them but of course Jason Todd didn’t own wine glasses.

You sighed and poured the wine in two coffee mugs, putting them on the sides of your plates. As you lit the candles and dimmed the lights, Jason finally strolled into the kitchen with a lazy smile on his face as he sat down on one of the chairs, waiting for you.

You took a seat next to him with a smile on your face that you somehow just couldn’t get rid of but one look at Jason told you he was in the same position as his dimples stayed prominent on his cheeks.

Neither of you said anything as you ate. The low hum of the music playing in background was the only sound filling the small space.

Jason like the complete lovesick fool he was held up his own fork to your mouth, feeding you the pasta. He complimented you throughout the whole dinner, saying how it was the best meal he’s had in a long while.

By the time the third compliment hit, you rolled your eyes at him. It was a simple recipe in your opinion, even his little brothers could make that. But on the other hand, Jason ate instant ramen most days so a warm home cooked meal was probably his idea of heaven.

You were now in the kitchen after finishing dinner to clean up and load the dishwasher when Jason finally spoke up.

“Hey, what was the other surprise you were talking about?” He asked, leaning down to put another plate in the dishwasher.

You bit the corner of your lips and handed him the wine mug before wiping your hands on a paper towel.

“What?” Jason asked, eyeing you suspiciously as he closed the dishwasher and set the timer.

You suppressed a giggle before shrugging down the sleeve of the shirt you were wearing and pulled on the red lacy strap of the lingerie you had on underneath making Jason sputter out a cough.

“You’re gonna kill me,” he said before he picked you up and threw you over his shoulder.

“Jay!” You giggled, clutching tightly at his torso.

“Enough distractions! You’re all mine now,” he declared and threw you on the bed before flopping down on top of you.

It was safe to say that it was going to be a very long night.

***

over time, he develops a collection, courtesy of you. there’s a cartoon frog, a marijuana leaf, an intricate silver dish, a coffin (he finds this one particularly amusing), and a dozen others just made from colourful glass. a couple of them are tenderly misshapen attempts from amateur pottery classes. each of his safe houses has a different one — each ashtray serves as a little reminder of you when he’s away from home.

right now, just the sight of the smouldering cigarette in that glass heart dish is making his heart ache. his boots are kicked up on the desk. he’s got fifty different cctv feeds open on his dozen-odd monitors, criminal case files and breaking news pages, but his eyes are glued to that little pink ashtray.

fuck it, he thinks. there’s nothing going on tonight. all his contacts are reporting as planned, nothing of note has popped up, there are no big moves happening. his fingers twitch towards the dwindling cigarette. bringing the filter between his lips and taking a drag, he knows there is zero reason he can’t go home to you right now.

so he does. he stubs out the cigarette butt and shuts off the computer. the room goes dark as all those blinking monitors sleep for the night. a twinge in his chest; he’s here in a dark, concrete bunker and you’re probably cozied up in the living room with your book. it doesn’t matter. he’s coming home to you.

it’s getting to that point in the year where the evening air is balmy even with the fresh breeze, instead of piercing through to the bone like the few months prior. jason doesn’t even need a jacket, really, but he keeps it on because he likes to tuck his hands into the pockets. the magnolia trees have almost shed all their flowers in favour of glossy, green leaves. the sun only set a couple hours ago; the scent of sun on pavement is still ripe.

he practically throws himself up the fire escape. it’s frantic, almost irrational. he slides open the living room window, then there’s the thud of his boots hitting the hardwood, his eyes move towards the couch as if magnetized and—

there you are. his sweet baby.

just like he thought you’d be, you’ve got your book and your favourite blanket, cuddled up in your favourite spot on the couch, with your favourite drink on a coaster near you. something in his chest immediately settles, his mind goes quiet. that right there — the peace you bring him? that’s better than any nicotine rush.

after shedding his jacket and boots, he lowers himself to his knees on the floor in front of you. jason nudges your book out of the way and instead lays his head in your lap. deep breath in, deep breath out. your familiar scent fills his lungs (again, better than nicotine).

“you’re home early,” you muse quietly, fingers slipping into his fluffy locks. it’s late, but not according to gotham’s vigilantes.

“couldn’t stop thinkin’ about you,” he murmurs. “comms were quiet, no big moves happenin’ tonight. besides, i’d be useless out there if anything did happen; only thing runnin’ through my mind is you, angel.”

his gaze meets yours as he leans into your touch, making him look like a puppy in need of attention. jason’s eyes are an interesting colour which has always fascinated you: they’re almost hazel, but the green is so bright that you’re not quite sure it qualifies. regardless, it’s hypnotizing— he’s hypnotizing.

“i’m not sure what you’re trying to butter me up for,” you tease, “but it might work.”

“swear to god i’m not,” he replies, voice softened by your thumb now smoothing over his cheekbone. his soft (even if a little chapped) lips press to the fleshy part of your palm just below your thumb. “just… it’s stupid, but i kept lookin’ at that ashtray you got me. y’know, the pink heart? couldn’t stop thinkin’ about you.”

a soft hum resonates from your chest. at first glance, most people think jason is some tough, unfeeling delinquent. they don’t know how much he craves the soft warmth of your skin. you’d call him touch-starved, but you both know he’s not starved for it at all. not as long as you’re around.

“should we go to bed?” you tilt his head up a little more towards you.

those big, pretty eyes stare back. he nods.

“are you gonna go smoke first?” you ask, leaning down to peck his lips.

“don’t need it,” comes the answer. “so long as you keep kissing me.”

But you didn’t look intimidated by his stature at all. If anything, you just seemed a bit shy asking him for permission to lay hands on his bike. So with a nod, he gave you the okay. In real time, he saw the sheepish expression on your face melt away and in its stead witnessed a spark of excitement light up in your eyes.

He watched you attentively as you took a few steps closer to his bike, and reached over to the handle. You were about to twist it expectantly, when Jason stopped you with a chuckle. Eyes lifting to look at the attractive stranger, you were worried that you had done something wrong already without noticing it.

“Not like that. You need to twist it towards you, all right?” Your cheeks warmed up in embarrassment, but his gloved hand simply came to rest over yours.

When he guided it in the right direction now, the bike’s engine roared to life loudly. The vibrations of the motor sent your heart tumbling into a frantic rush. To say you were impressed would have been nothing less than a blatant understatement. Jason could practically see stars form in your eyes. “You’re a fan of bikes, huh?” He huffed in amusement. His gaze drifted over your side profile as you nodded. You were pretty. Really pretty.

“Y’want to go for a ride?” The question left his mouth before his brain could catch up with what he was suggesting. It was unlike Jason to make an offer like this to someone he didn’t even know. He did it anyway, so that had to mean something, surely. Lifting his visor, he peered straight into your soul now—no kind of glass acting as a form of separation between you two.

You turned your head to look at him, and for a moment, you were just staring at him—soft lips parted. Clearly, you were as taken aback by his offer as he was. And also by those uniquely vibrant green eyes, but hopefully that wasn’t something the dark-haired biker would know.

Stranger danger should have stopped you from agreeing to something so reckless, especially in a crazy place like Gotham City, but much like Jason, you weren’t acting like yourself at the moment. “I… I mean, if you have the time.” Luckily for you, he had an extra helmet with him.

After Jason explained the basics of what you needed to know, you found yourself on the back of his bike. When he sensed that you hesitated to hold onto him, unsure of where to put your hands without crossing some sort of line, one of Jason’s hands reached backwards to grab yours and place it around his midriff.

“Hold on tight, sweetheart,” he ordered, but his voice was terribly kind. Then he snapped his visor back down, and you were off onto the road.

It was exhilarating; hearing the raucous vrooming sound of the engine, feeling the wind whip past your bodies.

You felt more alive than you ever had before. A thrilled little laugh came from you as you allowed yourself to enjoy the ride. Only now did you realize that you didn’t even know this stranger’s name yet. You had been too caught up in your inner monologue panicking over how bad of an idea this probably was.

When Jason sped up to overtake a car, you closed your eyes momentarily and rested your head against his back. Oh my god, this was as terrifying as it was fun.

The longer you two drove, the more your nerves began to ease into pure, unfiltered joy. You were growing more comfortable by the minute—your hands traveling along his abdomen and holding onto him tighter. At one point, your hand was pressed against his pectoral, and if you hadn’t been so swept up in the moment, you would’ve been able to feel the rapid, thumping beat of his heart.

Once you two stopped at a red light, the man you’d been clinging onto turned his head so that you could hear him better. “You good?” You might not know much about this stranger, but one thing you knew for sure: he was painfully considerate.

Jason started out driving not too fast, paid attention to your body language the whole ride through, and only began speeding up upon noticing that you had relaxed a bit. In other words, he made sure you felt comfortable the whole time, and now he was also checking in on you verbally. You were surprised by how well this was going considering how unsure you’d been about this choice.

“Yeah, I’m fine!” you spoke loudly in the hope of your voice carrying over the cacophony of traffic noise around you. With a growing grin, you added, “More than fine, actually. This is crazy!” Jason was thinking of a reply when the stoplight turned green, effectively interrupting your conversation.

Butterflies swarmed your stomach as you leaned into him, arms wrapped around him securely. Hands holding onto his front, you took notice of the warmth that seeped through the material of his black compression shirt. You couldn’t help but wonder how many days a week this man must have gone to work out to be this fucking ripped. Even from afar, it had been impossible to miss his size, but actually feeling the hard planes of muscle hidden beneath his clothes gave you a different kind of impression on just how built this man was.

Time flew by quickly. When Jason eventually dropped you off at the same gas station that he met you—he felt like it would be creepy to ask you where you lived, and your car was parked there anyway—the adrenaline was still pumping through your veins like a river of ecstasy.

Your breath was erratic as you warned him that you would get off the back of his bike now, just as he had told you to. Communication was key between the driver and backpacker. You wouldn’t want him to lose balance and let the bike fall to the ground. He likely wouldn’t have made a fuss about it, even if you did, though.

Standing on your own two feet after the addictive feeling of speeding through the streets with him felt weird. Your shaky fingers began fumbling with your helmet, and mere seconds later, Jason stood right in front of you. Noticing your struggle, he silently helped you. Your blown eyes were locked on him the entire time as he slipped it off your head. With him this close, you could smell the dizzying scent of his cologne: leather, musk, and something irresistibly warm that you couldn’t quite put your finger on. It smelled almost like gunpowder, but you doubted that with how sweet this man had been to you. Either way, he smelled absolutely to die for.

You ran your fingers through your hair to fix it, and Jason watched you closely. The corners of his mouth tugged up into an amused smirk. Fuck, you were too cute.

“Thank you. That was the most fun I’ve had in a while.” You sounded so gentle, so sincere in your gratitude. It wasn’t even a big deal, really, nothing that demanded much effort on his part. Still, it clearly made you happy, and he found himself feeling unreasonably accomplished by that, which was stupid, because he didn’t know you.

Jason should have reminded himself of that. He didn’t.

After he took off his own helmet, you could finally take a good look at the entirety of his face, and it was actually embarrassing how affected you were by it. The gorgeous green eyes you had seen before, but his dark, perfectly disheveled hair alongside the faint, jagged scar on his face piqued your interest in the man.

He was gorgeous, undeniably so.

You wanted to find out more about Jason, wanted to see if he had other scars or birthmarks hidden beneath the fabric of his protective gear, wanted to ride with him again. Of course, the more debauched side of your brain couldn’t help but think of wanting to ride him too, but that unfitting thought was quickly banished into the back of your traitorous mind. Even briefly imagining that with him right in front of you, fuck, that was a horrible idea, worse than climbing onto a stranger’s motorcycle.

“Any time…” Jason trailed off, a subtle inquiry of your name. Snapping out of your thoughts, you giggled at his smoothness. The man, who had died and come back to life, swore he felt something that he’d never felt before. An odd sensation of warmth spread through his chest. Illogical. Entirely unfounded. What was up with him?

You told him your name softly, and Jason repeated it back to you like he was testing the way it sounded rolling off his tongue. “Jason.” The curt response would have seemed aloof, if it weren’t for the evident interest shining in those emerald depths of his. “Well, thank you then, Jason,” you said with a sweet smile. Your heart was pounding wildly against your ribcage, and you knew that that wasn’t just the aftershocks of residual adrenaline.

Internally, you wondered if you should ask him for his number. Then you cringed at how awkward it would be if he told you no, if he said that he had a girlfriend and this was just him trying to be nice earlier. “Okay, I should—” You didn’t even finish your sentence, because he spoke up at the same time as you did, “Could I—” The air between you seemed static as you nodded at Jason to say what he wanted to first. “Could I get your number?” All right, girlfriend theory debunked then, you guessed.

He cleared his throat, trying to tamp down the tension he had created with the intense, deep timbre of his voice. Jason licked his lips before adding, “So we could… do this again, you know. If you’d like.” Wait, was he shy?

Jason didn’t want to come on too strong or make you feel like this was him expecting your number in return for his favor. It wasn’t like you owed him anything! He wasn’t an asshole like that. But you didn’t think that anyway.

The smile on your face broadened into an even more radiant one, and Jason had an inkling that he would grow to love this grin of yours. “Sure, I would love that. Maybe we could go to the library next time.” You inclined your head downward and chuckled bashfully, realizing how unspectacular of a place that sounded like. Leave it to you to suggest to the hot biker you met to go to the freaking library of all places. “I mean, if you don’t find that too boring. My aunt runs a library. I help out every once in a while, so I like the quiet there.”

Jason might have just found the woman of his dreams.

“No, no, I don’t find that boring at all,” he said, and when you lifted your head, you could tell by the look on his face alone that he meant what he said. Your eyes darted across his pretty face, teeth tugging at your bottom lip like that could contain your giddiness.

Jason might have been the man of your dreams too.

He gave you his phone, and you couldn’t believe that this was actually happening to you, as you typed your number into the phone of the handsome biker you met only today. The owner of the prettiest green eyes and the most attractive voice you ever had the pleasure of beholding. And he liked to read, apparently. It was like this man had stumbled right out of a romance novel.

Handing his phone back to him, you looked up at Jason through your eyelashes. “Call me.” Such bold words, yet coming out of the mouth of a sweet thing like you, they didn’t sound half as provocative as they should have.

Oh, Jason was definitely going to call you.

em’s masterlist | jason todd masterlist wc: 2.2k request: no

˙⋆✮ a/n: this was inspired by sth that happened to me this week lol. lowk don’t like ts, but i’ll post it anyway, bc i don’t want to scrap the fic. and also again, this is a drabble that turned into a one-shot. like, ugh, guys, i cannot write short stuff for the life of me 😭😭 this isn’t even acc long to me, but it’s definitely also not drabble-kinda short ykwim

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