You are an artificially created being and your patron was the creature who built you.
Leveling up is just you discovering more and more of the crazy shit they put inside your body

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@pact-ideas
You are an artificially created being and your patron was the creature who built you.
Leveling up is just you discovering more and more of the crazy shit they put inside your body

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Your warlock patron uses you to fulfil their dark desires but all their kinks are things like'having toes','winning an argument', and 'looking out the window on a rainy Sunday and letting the time pass you by'
Play a warlock character who calls himself Vithimorex or something like that. Always mention how grateful you are to your patron, Frank, for the wondrous powers he gives you.
Slowly reveal that the powers you get from Frank are things like âsense of smellâ and âverbal communicationâ. As it turns out, Vithimorex is an extradimensional Thing possessing the person formerly known as Frank. All the eldritch blasts and shadow conjurations are boring powers according to Vithimorex. He canât wait for the level 14 ability to understand and appreciate music.
Also, I realized something about the name I made up, so hereâs a song:
When the moon splits in two and your nightmares come true, Vithimorex...
When the world seems to bleed since the dead god was freed, Vithimorex...
I see somebody hit level 14
This is the best response Iâve ever seen
Dionysius agrees to give you magic but the power of the spells he gives you directly correlates to the amount of alcohol you consumed the night beforehand
no offence but i cant believe there are terfs out there who think alison bechdel is one of themâŚalison bechdel..who wrote and drew this comicâŚâŚ..

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with just a few tweaks and additions, âThe Devil Went Down to Georgiaâ could be a D&D warlock backstory
2 high level wizards become both warlock and patron to each other through a complicated magical ritual (gay sex)
A magical chosen one gets fed up with all the prophecy bullshit and donates their magic powers to you so they can follow their dream of becoming a farmer
âI have a fondness for hereticsâ
The paladin admitted, as he added a bit of honey to flavor his tea. The warlock stared at him, disbelief etched on her features.
âI just saw you smite one the other day. After they had a whole rant tooâ
The paladin considered that, then handed over another cup to the warlock. She accepted automatically, while her eyes tracked his expression.
âThatâs true. But I havenât slain every heretic, nor will I. I killed him because his intended actions for heresy would have harmed others innocent of the reasons. But heresy itselfâŚâ
He sipped his tea, thinking. Once he only took it black, but the warlock had taken him to her family apiary and heâd proven a happy convert.
âAll paladins swear a vow and have the courage to fight for what we believe. We do good works to to perfect our faith. Not all are raised to it, but many of us are. A heretic is raised in a faith, but has the courage to step away and dispute it, the courage to risk ostracization and hostility to do what they believe is right from what they were raised to believe is the truth. I wouldnât say theyâre all good for that alone. But I admire that courage, and hope if I ever feel the need to stand against what others believe is right, that I would have that same courage too.â
The warlock considered that, thinking of her pacts, both formal and informal, the beliefs that guided her and those sheâd broken despite the risk to herself. To be called a warlock did mean to break oaths after all. She then smiled knowingly at the Paladin. He simply smiled back.
âSo you chose apostasy.â
The Oathbreaker closed their eyes, their shoulders coiling like serpents and their heart crystallizing as they realized they would not escape this moment. Silence reigned in their being for a moment before they exhaled, the chill leaving their chest as they accepted the inevitable and turned to face the speaker.
The Paladin was leaning beside the threshold of of the exit, looking at their former sibling in faith, melancholy bright in their eyes. The Paladin wasnât alone. Not far behind him the Warlock watched, her eyes dark with focus. The Oathbreaker didnât sense hostility from either, but couldnât ignore that both were clad with in their respective armor and tools. Not that the Oathbreaker was any different, the weight of their axe comfortably near, in easy reach.
The three of them considered that moment, all perfectly aware on how things could go. Then the Oathbreaker spoke, an their tone empty in its attempt at sounding casual. âHave you come to stop me?â
The Paladin considered that, then shook their head. âNo. Just⌠wanting you to know that Iâm still your friend, and to wish you well.â
The Oathbreaker blinked, then turned away for a moment, willing no sign of weakness or regret to take seed in their heart. Then they willed themselves to meet the Paladins gaze squarely. âWe could be enemies tomorrow.â
The Paladin did not look away, nodding slowly. When they spoke, their voice cracking only slightly. âThat will have to be your choice to makeâ
The Oathbreaker closed their fists before willing them to relax. They were all quiet for a long moment before the Warlock stepped forward and without preamble embraced the Oathbreaker tightly. Sheâd been swift and for a moment the Oathbreaker was in a paroxysm of uncertainty before wilting in the embrace. The embrace tightened and the Oathbreaker willed their composure not to break with the realization that the Paladin had joined the hug.
For a moment, the Oathbreaker was held in a warmth that desperately to tried to reach their soul. It succeeded, but their path was set, and gently but insistently the Oathbreaker broke the embrace. For a moment, they stared at their friends, not bothering to brush away their tears, before finally turning away.
The Paladin and Warlock watched for a longtime without speaking. Only when the Oathbreaker had faded into the dark did they speak. âWas that the right thing, letting them go?â
The Paladin held their holy symbol for a moment, knowing the icon by touch as well a sight. âYes. Whatever else they do now, whatever they choose to believe, I wonât imprison them or stop them out of fear.â
The Warlock blinked and smiled knowingly. âBecause you still have faith.â
He considered that, then kissed her above the eyebrow.
âIn them, in you, in the world, in the light. Yes my love, always.â
ive only DM'd for a year and played for two years and this is the conclusion i always got for warlock characters

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âJolene"Â
 Your beauty is beyond compare
I shudder from your Eldritch stareÂ
With scaly skin and fins of emerald green
I love how weâve all collectively decided Jolene is a Great Old One :D
And I love that Wynonna Earp is clearly aware of this meme O.O
demon gf that insists on making pacts for every little thing
"i will do the dishes... for a price (kissies)"
your patron is a deep sea creature and the only way you can get your spells to work on dry land is if your patron physically throws the spell effects at you from the shoreline.
I posted 45 times in 2021
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For every post I created, I reblogged 2.0 posts.
I added 212 tags in 2021
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Longest Tag: 139 characters
#speaking of mistakes if ive said anything mean or offensive by accident please message me and ill take this down im not trying to be shitty
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
your patron isnât give you magic because of a deal you made but rather an implicit understanding that if you didnât have some kind of leg up youâd never make it to the end of the month without getting yourself hurt somehow
84 notes ⢠Posted 2021-12-01 00:02:06 GMT
#4
Your patron is a succubus/incubus and all they powers they give you are to be used between the sheets and they get really mad when you use them in the streetsÂ
104 notes ⢠Posted 2021-11-13 09:16:56 GMT
#3
You find the woman who never lies in a tavern, on a night with no moon you ask her for help.
âOf course I will. You are my chosen.â She says with such conviction that you believe her without hesitation. You were always her chosen.
That night you find a vagrant curled up in a ball outside the tavern, all the mead in the world couldnât numb the pain in his chest. You try to help, whisper words of encouragement.
âItâs ok. Youâre strong. You can beat this.â
The vagrant stands on shaky feet, maybe the pain in his chest wasnât as bad as you thought you place him arm over your shoulder and walk him to safety but on your way home you stumble into a group of ruffians and you get the sense that by helping the vagrant you have taken away their fun for this evening, for a moment things seem tense.
âThis isnât you, go back to your families.â
Two of the three men nod. You arenât lying, they realise that they are good men and they stumble away to the families that they have always had. But the third man is confused, its not that you are lying but it seems that thereâs something that keeping him from accepting the truth, you look him over and see the blood on his knuckles and you hear a childâs voice groan in pain from the alleyway the man emerged from. You have a realisation.
âYou should be more careful friend. Youâre on fire.â
Youâre not lying, you never lie.
143 notes ⢠Posted 2021-04-11 09:31:17 GMT
#2
Ways your characters can transition between genders within the mechanics of dnd
this is not at all what this blog is usually about but I recently watched Identity: a trans coming out story by philosophy tube and like a true nerd I saw a moving and breath-taking piece of art and immediately attempted to apply it to Dungeons and dragons.
1. The Witches brew
The viscous green liquid within the cauldron bubbled as a wizened hand stirred with a gnarled wooden spoon âSip once a day, every day for a yearâ croaked the witch âbut never during the full moonâ
A potion or blessing provided by the local wise woman/witches coven/hag that will slowly but surely transform the subject. This idea is maybe less steeped in the mechanics of dnd but this idea seems so classically witchy i had to include it plus this would likely be the only method of transition available for the common folks in your average dnd setting, for DMâs a fun level 1 adventure for your hero's could maybe include a character wishes to brew a potion of transitioning but is missing a vital ingredient and the party must set off on a quest to find it or it could be more of a long term thing, maybe one of the PCs is using such a potion and must occasionally either return to the witches hut to stock up or gather the ingredients themselves, lots of possibilities.
I thought that a slower transformation was appropriate since witches are fairly low level in the grand scheme of things however hags are known for making deals so maybe your character has bargained for a faster transition but then the question is what did they offer in exchange?
2. By Divine Favour
You kneel and whisper a prayer as you had done a thousand times before but this time something was different, from the sky, a beam of golden light falls down upon you and you feel power deep within your bones.
The gods are the most powerful creatures in the lore of dnd but with that comes a degree of separation, the gods are not likely to grant your wishes just because you asked so your best bet is to go to a cleric or become one yourself, spell wise however there is little they can do for you unless the dm has a very generous interpretation of the term ârestorationâ luckily clerics have the divine intervention feat where they roll a d100 and if the number they roll is below their cleric level they can call on their deity for aid with a specific task, this task can be anything from drying out the laundry with some sun beams or alleviating dysphoria with a godly transfiguration. clerics get this ability at level 10 which means that there's a one in ten chance of success from the beginning and they can perform it once per long rest so just hang out with them for a fortnight and wait for luck to turn your way.
3. A Pact From Beyond
You hang in space as if swimming in an ocean and flying through the clouds all at once. You feel a mind older that time and vast enough to swallow a city whole asks you âwhat is it you desire?â
Here we are at my bread and butter. Eldritch pacts have been made for much less than a definitive change of identity so you could also throw in that your friends and family will only remember you as your new identity or you could just have anyone who ever deadnames you sucked into the nine hells.
There are other option if you donât want to base your entire pact on transitioning. At second level you gain access to eldritch invocations one of which could be mask of many faces which allows you to cast disguise self at will without using a spell slot, what this means is that you can decide how your character looks 100% of the time. disguise self only lasts an hour but you can just cast it again and again. obviously this is a low level ability so it does have limits, the main draw back is that the spell is only an illusion. you can make your character look a certain way but you canât change their body, at least until 7th level when you can get the sculptor of flesh invocation that allows you to cast polymorph but sadly you do have to use a spell lot for this invocation so even though you will have a proper transformation it will at most last an hour.
but hey the situation isn't hopeless Iâve heard that unfathomable eldritch beings are very reasonable creatures as long as you are willing to negotiate.
4. Find a wizard
âThe ritual lasts an hour and requires you to be completely submergedâ Said the kindly old man as he excitedly hopped around his arcane laboratory showing off his research which is complete gibberish to you âthe magic of the clay will sustain you but if you are uncomfortable with the sensation of not breathing I have some improvised wooden reeds which you could use to breath through however a foreign body within the ritual may require me to take a little extra time to...âÂ
You silence him with a wave of your hand âDon't worry about it.â You lie back on the table âLets begin,âÂ
Wizards have access to a larger amount of spells that other classes but only a few of those spells are fit for our purposes, Wizards have access to disguise self which we discussed in the previous section as well as alter self which would be perfect for our needs if it wasn't for the hour long time limit, if you can find a way to keep the alter self spell up indefinitely through either a magic item or a round the clock team of spell casters who take turns casting every hour, you would have a better time but even then it is an ongoing magical effect so it can be cancelled either by a dispel magic spell or an antimagic field but fear not dear reader! for wizards have the ultimate trans spell... Widowgastâs Transmogrification.
Now technically this spell isnât part of official dnd material however the world the spell exists in is an official dnd world so I consider it cannon by proxy. Widowgastâs transmogrification is a spell that permanently transforms a willing humanoids body into another type of humanoid body this means you can change the race and/or gender of the subject. So you essentially get to look exactly how you want to with no magical baggage. There are some drawbacks of course this is a 6th level spell so you need to be at least an 11th level wizard to be able to cast it or you need to find a trustworthy wizard which is a challenge in of itself plus the spell components are costly but in my opinion the pros of the unique spell outweigh the cons.
181 notes ⢠Posted 2021-02-17 04:31:07 GMT
#1
You were going to be a paladin but you ticked the wrong box on your contract and now you're a celestial warlock who is slightly pissed off by their lack of melee options
238 notes ⢠Posted 2021-09-28 19:13:56 GMT
Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review â
You were going to be a paladin but you ticked the wrong box on your contract and now your a celestial warlock who is slightly pissed off by their lack of melee options
Pact of the Tome, Shiliegh. Wonât be as effective as a Hexblade, but youâll at least be viable in Melee again.
Actually, Iâm curious now. If a warlock is someone who receives miraculous gifts from a spiritual patron, and sometimes serves as a conduit for their power, how is that different from being a priest, and how is being a priest different from being a priest with a sword?
This is an interesting question Iâd say for the most part its a question for your DM but in my eyes the difference is one of intent of the deity.Â
Warlock magic is usually either traded or gifted by the deity whereas cleric and paladin magic is earned through devotion and/or service.
for example my current warlock is a conman who is blackmailing an angel for some divine healing powers and my paladin is a former vampire warlord who was cured and stripped of their power by a minor goddess in and because of this my paladin chose to worship her and become her paladin.
a great example of a celestial warlock is Lapain Cadbury from Dimension 20 series 3Â âa crown of candyâ. I wont spoil the story but at first it seems like Lapain is worshipping the deity but in reality he only has his powers to help him carry out the 3Â âwishesâ of his deity to pay for his transgressions against them.
For the perfect cleric! Jester from critical role is wild, chaotic and devious with her pranks, shes is a classic warlock archetype right down to her mysterious benefactor who gifts her with arcane talents but on closer inspection its very clear that all her power stems from her true and genuine love for her deity.
the real question is where do divine sorcerers fit into all this?
Divine sorcerers are apparently descended from gods. They can't be affected by them besides the way of other mortals, and their one connection is bloodline.

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your patron isnât give you magic because of a deal you made but rather an implicit understanding that if you didnât have some kind of leg up youâd never make it to the end of the month without getting yourself hurt somehow
You were going to be a paladin but you ticked the wrong box on your contract and now your a celestial warlock who is slightly pissed off by their lack of melee options
Pact of the Tome, Shiliegh. Wonât be as effective as a Hexblade, but youâll at least be viable in Melee again.
Actually, Iâm curious now. If a warlock is someone who receives miraculous gifts from a spiritual patron, and sometimes serves as a conduit for their power, how is that different from being a priest, and how is being a priest different from being a priest with a sword?
This is an interesting question Iâd say for the most part its a question for your DM but in my eyes the difference is one of intent of the deity.Â
Warlock magic is usually either traded or gifted by the deity whereas cleric and paladin magic is earned through devotion and/or service.
for example my current warlock is a conman who is blackmailing an angel for some divine healing powers and my paladin is a former vampire warlord who was cured and stripped of their power by a minor goddess in and because of this my paladin chose to worship her and become her paladin.
a great example of a celestial warlock is Lapain Cadbury from Dimension 20 series 3Â âa crown of candyâ. I wont spoil the story but at first it seems like Lapain is worshipping the deity but in reality he only has his powers to help him carry out the 3Â âwishesâ of his deity to pay for his transgressions against them.
For the perfect cleric! Jester from critical role is wild, chaotic and devious with her pranks, shes is a classic warlock archetype right down to her mysterious benefactor who gifts her with arcane talents but on closer inspection its very clear that all her power stems from her true and genuine love for her deity.
the real question is where do divine sorcerers fit into all this?