
if i look back, i am lost
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Cosimo Galluzzi

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@p4xxy

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btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here
[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over

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girl get off that c.ai and embrace the 'x reader'

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when is it SHANE'S TURN to go to therapy and get help. makes me feel crazy to hear about ilya's struggles and see him get professional help meanwhile shane just has to deal with his undiagnosed eating disorder and his anxiety and the trauma of having to hide his sexuality and relationship for a decade and from being outed in a horrible and invasive way and from the community of the sport that he loves and has given his whole life to treating him terribly once he finally was out
sebastian sallow ── .✦ recs
꒰ masterlist • hogwarts legacy • 03/27/25 ꒱
here are some sebastian sallow stories i’ve read, loved, and reblogged. all the admiration for the writers who share their talent so generously. please be sure to read the warnings on each fic. and if you enjoy them, let the author know by a comment, reblog, or both! ♡
☆ never forget I @zevrra
where sebastian is actually worried about MC and regrets casting crucio on them
☆ caught in the rain I @/zevrra
you and sebastian seek shelter inside an abandoned home where every feeling is laid to bare.
☆ truth or dare I @ppomumgranatum
Truths emerged and friendships were tested as you found yourself confronting two years' worth of suppressed feelings towards Sebastian. Drunk.
☆ the dance of love’s sweet potion I @/ppomumgranatum
When a potion meant to repel backfired, it became a mishap that turned your world upside down.
Tethered
Summary: After a long of week of finals, you're drained, physically and mentally,and when you finally break down Juju is right by your side.
Warnings: Some self doubt in terms of academic performance, comfort. No proofreading!!!
You lay at the couch of your dorm, finally taking a well earned break. It was the end of the week and finals were officially done.
The last rays of the day softly peeked through your blinders, the peace around you contrasting the storm slowly brewing inside you. Even though finally done with finals, your mind just kept spiraling back, thinking back at every moment where you could've tried harder, when you should've.
"You aren't smart enough to be here”
"You should've tried harder"
"You don't belong here"
Your thoughts just spiraled farther and farther.
You felt crushed by this pressure you placed on yourself, eventually this tough exterior you were donning cracked, your resolve finally slipping from you.
You felt one tear make it's way down your cheek,
No, you couldn't cry, you were stronger than that.
But even in this moment somewhere in your head, you knew it was better to let it all out, and so you did just that surrendering yourself to your emotions, as sobs raked through your body.
You don't know how long you laid there but you quickly became awoken from your trance as you heard your dorm room open
"Shit-" you hadn't realized Juju's practice had finished. It's not that you were worried how Juju might react at seeing you, it was more of you not wanting to stress her out, I mean basketball already took enough of the girl's time.
You just didn't want to be another weight on her shoulders.
Quickly lifting yourself up from your spot in the sofa, without much success you tried to look less disheveled, attempting to hide any traces of what had transpired over the possibly last couple hours.
But as soon as Juju walked in through the door, she could tell something was off. Quickly taking her shoes off, she tossed her practice bag towards the entryway, making her way towards you, her serious, flippant demeanor she had in the court and in the presence of the media was replaced with her caring one, reserved only for you and a select few.
She pulled you towards her as she sat on couch, with your back against her chest as you both sat up. Her hands rubbing up and down your arms. She always knew the way to get to you was through physical touch.
"Baby, what's wrong?"
"Oh nothing Ju, I just had a rough week. Y'know how stressful finals can be. I'm fine though. Nothing you should worry about."
She could tell you weren't going to easily open up, she knew that about you, but she also knew you were worth that extra effort.
She slowly readjusted you so you both sat face to face, she knew at this proximity there was no way you woudn't tell her.
You looked everywhere but at her, knowing the moment you gazed into those sweet cocoa eyes, you wouldn't be able to hold back.
"Baby... you know it was more than just a rough week, talk to me please, I just want to help my baby girl"
Those words finally drove you to meet her eyes.
And like they always did around her, your walls came tumbling down.
And as you unraveled right in front of her, she was right there with you, picking up the pieces of yourself you laid out.
She softly laid kisses on your palms, your fingers, and your fingertips as you spoke.
Not for a single moment did Juju seem burdened by your venting. She just sat there and listened, and only when you seemed to be done did she finally speak up.
“I know exactly how you feel, but I also know you studied harder than anyone I know," she continued. “Y’know what, I know the perfect thing to get your mind off of this”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You don't remember exactly what happened, between juju's pampering and kisses, but you now found yourself sitting in the passenger seat of her car.
Her hand softly resting on your thigh as the city of LA rolled past you, the city that never truly slept.
Even after your relentless questions, Juju wouldn't tell you where you two were going. Giving you the same answer she had over the last 10 minutes:
"Be a little patient baby...It's meant to be a surprise"
Finally it seemed you had reached your destination.
Juju steadily drove through the park's entrance parking in a secluded corner.
As you excited the car you took in your surroundings.
It was too dark for you to see much but from afar, but the soft glimmer of light, drew your eye to a picnic table.
Offering her hand from your side of the car, the taller girl led you where she intended to all along.
Now that you were close enough to see you were speechless, on the picnic table laid a multitude of you favorite takeout foods along with your favorite flowers.
You could tell Juju planned this, how you couldn't fathom.
"Baby, how did you know to plan this?..." you asked
She further led you to the picnic table, where you then sat.
"Well, I had this planned either way to celebrate you finishing finals, I guess the timing was just lucky."
You remained speechless,
"So... What do you think?"
Words couldnt possibly describe how you felt. This feeling of being seen, to feel acknowledged, cared for.
It amazed you how this girl didn't know how at moments where everything just felt like too much she was the only one keeping you from falling apart.
And so you grabbed the girl's hand pulling her with you to sit down.
You could see the unneassiness in her eyes, unsure on whether you found this whole thing dumb or over the top, but among the silence she understood.
She understood you and how you felt
She always did.
"It's just what I needed."
Rewatching…remembering… depressing…

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This year is coming to an end, and I want to thank all the fanfic writers for making my year a better year, I love you all