.

I have always thought that the utaite community was a safe fandom: a place where everyone could freely express themselves with no judgement, a place where people shared kind words to each other, a place where people could be themselves without fear. We unite listening to Mafumafu’s lyrics which talks of suffering and loneliness and death, but also of hope and love and life. I thought that as we read these lyrics and felt emotions through the beautiful melodies and harmonies that he constructed, we were a powerful collection of stories and minds who embraced each other with our differences and were not scared of the world’s cruel judgement.

Recently, Mafumafu was involved in a “scandal” with a Vtuber (we’ll call her Person A for her decency). As a recap, while Person A was streaming, a discord message popped up on her screen from a person who was allegedly Mafumafu. The message said something along the lines of “My stream has ended, I will be heading home now.” As soon as this happened, Mafumafu’s Twitter blew up with aggressive and angry “fans” demanding answers, accusing him of lying, upset that he “betrayed their trust”. A couple of hours later, Mafumafu posted an explanation on his Twitter, apologising for his “careless actions”, for “making many people uncomfortable”, and that he did not actually live together with Person A. The next day, he stated that he would be taking a hiatus on his activities as atonement for his actions.

I have never written something like this before, but after the events of today (where Mafumafu conducted an apology stream on his Twitcasting account), I have decided that I cannot sit on the sidelines any longer.

The comments beneath his apology post were disgusting. Under the excuse of being his “fan”, people were writing that they “didn’t know whether they could keep supporting him anymore”, or that “he had lied to everyone”, or that “they were relieved that Mafumafu and Person A were not living together”. Are these the words of fans at all?

Previous to this occurrence, I had imagined how the fandom would react if Mafumafu got a girlfriend. It was so obvious to me that we would be happy for him; there may be a little fan jealousy, but it would fade away as quickly as it came. Throughout his career, Mafumafu has spoken about his struggles in getting into a relationship. He shared his frustration of not being able to love, not even knowing what love is meant to feel like, not understanding what attraction is. He told us that he wants so badly to be in a relationship, he told us of his dream to get married and live in a different country, he told us of how he would even raise his children. We heard time and time again of how he wants to be happy with his “soulmate” (quoted) and I thought that it was obvious that, as his fans, we would support him with all our hearts if he was able to finally be in a romantic relationship.

I understand ‘fan jealousy’. I understand that people can get a bit jealous that their favourite celebrity may be in a relationship. I get that. But there is a clear line between choosing to be supportive like an actual fan, and being delusional that your celebrity “cheated on you” and choosing to harass them. At the end of the day, wouldn’t you want your celebrity to be happy, to live their lives how they want to? Especially with Mafumafu. The vast majority, if not all, of his fandom are very aware of his dark and violent past; how he was bullied, how he was stalked, how he was almost always alone throughout his childhood. We know how his traumatic past still haunts him, because we hear it in his music and read it through his lyrics. He sings “how many times have I killed my heart” and “I don’t want to wake up”, and we know this. His most famous cover is literally called “Hated by Life Itself”. And I know that his “fans” are aware of this, because these are the same people that comment on his daily tweets and say things like “good job for making it through another day!” or “you’re amazing for being alive”.

To treat a simple comment like “I’m going home now,” as an immediate indication that two are dating, largely out of the fact they are of two opposite biological sexes is heteronormative and sexist. The very notion that one does not usually hang out with women “except for me” is inherently misogynist. Just because you’re a “fan” doesn’t mean that you are their significant other at all. You’re describing someone who doesn’t see interacting women in a relationship where they’re not allowed to sleep with them - glorified objectification. If we are to accept that there are a variety of relationship statuses for those between the same gender (friends, acquaintances, close friends, etc.), there is no reason to not do the same for opposite genders unless you are failing to see the opposite gender as human; in some way, grotesquely different from you that makes them only available as a dating machine. You’re wrong. Men and women can be just friends. Men and women can be affectionate and just friends. Men and women can even be best friends and yet still, not romantically involved.

Even if Mafumafu and Person A were in a romantic relationship, that is none of our business. Why does it matter? He is not your boyfriend, he is not “cheating” on you, he is simply living his life with the same freedom that we live ours. Shouldn’t we be supportive as his fans, as people who have heard his pain time and time again, as people who want more than anyone for him to be happy?

Just a few hours ago, I listened to Mafumafu’s apology Twitcasting stream where he continuously apologised for saying how he doesn’t have any interactions with females when he actually interacts with females and plays video games, etc. He showed his private Twitter DM conversations with Person A as evidence to support his claims that their matching cutlery was nothing but a coincidence. He apologised for not being able to show his Discord DMs with Person A as they were too confidential. He concluded the stream by saying “I am sorry for causing so much trouble this time.”

Once again, the comments on the Twitcast were appalling; I placed my phone face-down on the table and buried my face in my hands at how ridiculous people were. There were people saying that he was “disgusting”, puking emojis, that “he betrayed them”, and that “he should apologise more”. I don’t even need to explain why this is so appalling.

Mafumafu did not have to apologise, he did not have to show his private messages, he did not have to take a hiatus on his activities, he did not have to justify a friendship just because they were female, he did not have to try and satisfy these toxic and delusional “fans” who thought that they were in some romantic online relationship with him. Just because Mafumafu communicates with his fans very frequently online doesn’t mean that he has told us everything about himself or that he has to tell us everything. Just like any other human being, there are things that he would like to keep private, and he has every right to do so.

This “scandal” said a lot more about the fandom than Mafumafu himself. As a first, a lot of people discovered that “Oh wow! Mafumafu actually has a private life separate from his public activities!” (please note the sarcasm). The level of disrespect, accusations, and the ingrained sexism in the comments of his apology Twitter post was so shocking that it was absurd. Ironically, after the Twitcast ended, the comments on his Twitter page were those of “support”. People were “glad that they can continue supporting Mafumafu” and “sorry for doubting him”. In response to these comments: Firstly, why should Mafumafu ‘repent’ and apologise because he has a female friend, to gain your support? Secondly, what exactly are you doubting him for; he’s not your boyfriend, he is not “cheating” on you?

We have definitely lost a significant amount of his trust and faith towards his fans. Instead of the support he deserved, he received angry lashes of immaturity, arrogance, and selfishness; people saying whatever they wanted to say, feeling entitled because of course, they can’t let Mafumafu get stolen away by another girl. These people did not think about the consequences of their words, how they built his walls back up again, that he tried so hard to tear down, with their own hands. They essentially took him, his selflessness, his passiveness in the face of his fans for granted. No, in fact, they did not consider his position at all.

As his fan, I am ashamed and embarrassed that this has happened.

As a fandom, we cannot apologise enough for the damage that has been stupidly inflicted.

I sincerely hope this does not repeat with other utaites and celebrities. Please protect them and stay kind. They are people too.

No.