not so lucky

the sibling dynamic they once had was so long forgotten and destroyed, oswald forgot what it was like to be an older brother. at least he thought so. that never stopped the pangs of protectiveness. stop any type of possible harm that could come to the younger disney. oswald chose to ignore this. pretend it didn’t exist. it made it hurt less to think about. it hurt less to be uninterested in the one person who inadvertently cause him so much harm. so much loneliness. oswald had always known mickey didn’t mean for that to happen. if anything, his father was to blame. for all of it really, but it didn’t fight back the sting of second fiddle. “i’ve been in the game longer than you,” he mocked, rolling is eyes again. he could feel the tension growing through his body. “it’s always working.” he finally looked his brother dead in the eyes. “look, i have shit to do, so can you for once in your life, leave me alone?”

“h-hung?”

“i mean sure they’re out there, but like, they haven’t come here,” he pointed out, not really thinking there was any use having an actual debate with the guy on the matter. “i mean, i do theater. all theaters are haunted.” he admitted, somewhat embarrassed he outed himself as a theater kid. even though he had been a professional actor since before he could talk.

to fall in love. oswald thought it would be a thing he would do only once. something so perfectly unique. something that he would do and then feel that for the rest of his life. however, that has never been the case. he’s fallen in love so many times, and each times, he’s been crushed. destroyed even. and it kept happening over and over again. most of the time, the women would leave him forever. never to be seen again. which was good, not having to relive the pain all over again each time. however fate decided that would no longer be the case it seemed. for right in front of him, one of his great heartbreaks stood. he couldn’t believe his own eyes, even as they began to burn. “genevieve?” he questioned, voice nearly cracking. // @vainglrious​

when it came to instant connections, nothing quite felt as powerful as his connection with violet. it felt seamless from the moment they first talked. she made him feel important and special, because she understood him. they had a similar aversion to social interactions, which made theirs so much more pleasant. his smile at her grew affectionate as her wry smile came into view. “anything i could help with?” oswald asked, resting his head in his palm.

to be alone, was one of oswald’s biggest dreads. never one for friends, or lasting relationships, no matter how badly he wanted them, he always feared that he would end up forgotten and alone. so small interactions like this were what kept him sustained, and away from that fear. “that is true, thought she might just unhinge her jaw and swallow him whole,” he smiled at her, chuckle rocking his shoulders. “meghan, diminutive of margaret, which comes from the latin word margarita, which means pearl in greek,” he let go of her hand, suddenly worried he might have rambled on too long.

oswald used to be playful. when they were younger, more naive to the world, oz loved to play stupid games with his brother. he was the perfect big brother, even when mickey had his bratty tendencies. then it became obvious who the favorite was. even when oswald was still small, he knew he was some how less than his younger brother. that perfect older brother washed away to reveal a cynical, distant sibling. of course, it didn’t actually matter to the younger one, oswald supposed. “only on a technicality. we aren’t friends, so don’t call me that,” he shook his head slightly, trying to maintain his cool, despite his frustration with the younger disney. he had thought they were finally done, and he began to look back at his book when michael spoke again, and oswald’s eyes rolled. “you don’t talk to me unless you want something or came to bother me, so which one is it so we can cut to the chase?”

oswald actually found himself liking the small town. it felt much more his speed than the great big cities he had spent most of his time in. it was quiet, and easy to get to things he needed. not to mention how beautiful he thought the town was. he found that most people actually left him alone. he didn’t deal with the constant stopping and asking for pictures he used to deal with. everything was calming here. so when a stranger was admiring himself, he felt like he was back in la, but not in a way he didn’t mind. it amused him, “oh me? nah, you’re the pretty boy here,” he tossed the complement back, not fully sure how else to respond.

he had to shake his head. the whole situation was crazy. he didn’t understand the desire for public affection like that. especially with how grotesque it all seemed. even his own loneliness didn’t bring him to wishing that type of slobber. “he really must be going for sainthood. he’s just been working that poor girl over for so long,” he pretended to gag, finally turning back to face the girl. “i’m oswald, by the way,” he held his hand out to shake.

oswald found comfort in books. they made him feel like he was somewhere else entirely. a different time, a different place. a different person. it was how oswald liked to be in the world. elsewhere. its why he chose the major he did. just to be able to read as many books as he wanted, and then talk about those books in essays and papers. he had no clue what he would do with this knowledge, but since he figured he would probably be stuck acting for the rest of his life, he might as well expand his mind during this hiatus in emporia. he grinned back at the girl, unable to contain his excitement to share. “pride and prejudice, by jane austin. i’ve read it about a thousand times. it’s no bother really,” he held his copy up, showing its age and use.

friendship didn’t come easily to oswald. he didn’t grow up learning the personal value friendship could have. if it were up to his father, people were just a means to an end. things to be used to help achieve one’s goals. oswald never thought like that, but that type of environment didn’t lend itself well to teaching how to communicate with others. “shit, i’m sorry, i really just didn’t see you,” he gathered his own things, making his way to the desk at which she sat. “yeah, no of course. it’s pretty slow,” he smiled, shrugging as he set down his old book and coffee cup. “what do you have to write, vi?” he asked, eyes caught on her.

he thought he would be able to stay away from his brother while they were here. he usually didn’t have to see him, with both of them having busy working schedules, it wasn’t often that they were even in the same state, much less same town. but as always, mickey found a way to completely fuck him over. part of the many reasons oswald took the job in the library was the fact, he wasn’t totally sure his brother knew how to read. so it seemed like a safe place to hide away from the shiny brat. ”don’t call me bro.” oswald groaned quietly. “if you don’t need a book or anything, why are you here?” he deadpanned.

oswald was never very good at interactions. he could play the role and get through that, but just being oswald, never felt quite right. of course if he ever actually went to therapy, he was sure they would call it an acute lack of any type of self esteem. oswald just thought that’s how he was supposed to be. a little broken. “i don’t think he’s very good at his practice, what with all the drool,” he gestured around his mouth. “a kind dentist, but not a good one,”

“uh, i mean alright dude,” he smiled politely, not really having such strong opinions on the topic, especially of aliens. “i mean, not really sure the whole proof thing counts. if there are aliens, we probably haven’t actually gotten any proof.” he shrugged, “ghosts though, those are real.”

oswald felt unlike most of his schoolmates, he enjoyed the job he had. working in the library was calming. he could read as much as he wanted, not many people came by to ask about him or his brother. it was peaceful. not to mention, they had a killer selection of keurig cups. he was so enthralled by the novel he had found, something he had read hundreds of times, but never grew tired of, he hadn’t noticed the person come up to the service desk. after an unknown passage of time, oswald finally looked up, “shit- fuck wait, hey, sorry, what can i help you with?” he closed his book, putting down his coffee.