幸せになる

and i guess i had this whimsical idea of all the boys sitting on a porch as old men reminiscing about the good old days in the biggest boy band in the world as five terrible dancers with a whole lot of heart, but life is cruel and just doesn’t work out that way sometimes, and it fucking hurts

i feel like i’m missing a limb, and it’s stupid because i didn’t know him, but something is gone where it should be

"if i was orpheus i would simply not turn around" yes you would. if you were orpheus and you loved eurydice, you would. to love someone is to turn around. to love someone is to look at them. whichever version of the myth — he hears her stumble, he can't hear her at all, he thinks he's been tricked — he turns around because he loves her. that's why it's a tragedy. because he loves her enough to save her. because he loves her so much he can't save her. because he will always, always turn around. "if i was orpheus i would simply —" you wouldn't be orpheus. you wouldn't be brave enough to walk into the underworld and save the person you love. be serious

some of 1D's best songs exist because of liam payne, by the way. liam and louis were the dream team. they all wrote some good songs, but man. every time liam and louis joined up together, it ended up being a fucking banger. better than words. end of the day. fireproof. there are so many, so many strong songs that took 1D from being just a silly little "girl band" (which is what they always were and always will be to us, to me) to being something special, something that pierced through the industry whether people liked it or not. that was my band. they were my boys. i will miss liam for the rest of my life, and i'm not exaggerating that. not only because of who he was in the band, not only because of who he could have been once he held himself accountable enough to grow. i will miss his music, his talent. his voice. god. his voice. i'll just miss him. i miss him already.

i've actually always been terrified of reading something like this and god. what the actual fuck

the absolute cruelty of death and it leaving this complete lack of ability to find and give closure. he deserved at least the chance to recover, heal, and make amends.

and i guess i had this whimsical idea of all the boys sitting on a porch as old men reminiscing about the good old days in the biggest boy band in the world as five terrible dancers with a whole lot of heart, but life is cruel and just doesn’t work out that way sometimes, and it fucking hurts