hakuna matata

I went on a Tinder date after talking to this guy for like a month. It was my birthday so he was going to take me to see a movie. When asked which movie I would like to see I picked The Poltergeist to which I was informed that he doesn’t do scary movies and that out of all 10 movies playing in the theater I had to choose between Pitch Perfect 2 and Avengers 2. I chose the Avengers and things just kind of went downhill from there. He told me I was gross for eating the cone of an ice cream cone. He told me that from what he gathered from my snapchat, I am an alcoholic. He tried to hold my hand and I was too nervous to pull away, however he pulled his hand away to examine the size of my hand because “it felt huge”. For whatever reason, I let him grab my hand again and he told me that my hands were sweaty. When I wouldn’t hold his hand, he decided that poking my side and trying to pull my legs up on his was acceptable. Needless to say, when that movie ended I was so excited to go back to the store to tell my friend how horrible it was. He was pretty excited too because as he put it.. He still had time to go eat dinner at his grandma’s. I managed to ignore texts for the next two weeks but I did get one phone call from him that finally pushed me to block him. He called to ask me to “teach him how to make out.” This guy was like 25. I don’t think I will ever date someone I met online again.

I hate this?

it sucks that The Office never got to do an episode where Michael gets really sick and everyone has to shrink themselves down to a microscopic size and go inside his body to fix it