words are wind

Having made the difficult but compassionate decision to remove their ailing grandfather from life support Friday, members of the Jarrett family were reportedly unaware that in doing so, they were sending the 86-year-old directly to hell. “It was so hard to let him go, but it was the right thing to do—he’s suffered enough,” said the hellbound man’s daughter, Jennifer Austin, oblivious to the knowledge that only seconds after they disconnected his respirator in an attempt to spare him further discomfort, the family patriarch was cast into the blackest pits of the netherworld, where he would suffer unspeakable tortures and burn in perpetual agony for all of time.

the following events ensued:

1. predictable lively discussion on the preparation of Wienerschnitzel, in which natives and wurstaboos are pro-puff and everybody else is like *confused dog head tilt* why wouldn’t you want the crust to stay ~attached to the thing you put it on? as with other fried foods?

2. thirty “Bad Schnitzel is my band name” jokes

3. thirty “Bad Schnitzel is my stripper name” jokes

4. one “ah yes, Bad Schnitzel! a lovely spa town” joke

5. this absolute masterpiece:

websites now:

1. matching pearls in pairs for earrings

2. msn butterfly