The Labrinyth Of Suffering

I feel like I have writers block on my life. Numb. I don’t know how to feel or how to think or how to react anymore. Have I grown cold?

Show you’re upset & you’re an attention seeker.

Show your happy & you’re a show off.

Show that you’re angry & you’re scary.

Show that you’re hurting & you’re weak.

They always say ‘Chin Up’ or ‘Calm Down’.

No one ever tells you that it’s okay to feel, it’s okay to live in the moment, it’s okay to express your emotions.

Mother always said ‘Just walk away’ , ‘Ignore it’ but mother do I not deserve my freedom of speech, my freedom to feel, to react, to defend myself?

Do I not deserve to be human?

Do I not deserve to express that certain things are not okay to say or do?

Does my opinion not matter?

Do I always have to be the quiet one, the one you can hurt over & over & it be okay one?

Can I not express how I feel without being told it’s wrong or not allowed?

Can I not be numb for one minute & express whatever it is I’m feeling?

I do not want to grow cold.

I do not want to be walked over.

I do not want to live a numb life.

When I’m happy I want my soul to burst with sunshine.

When I’m sad I want to feel it in tidal waves.

When I’m hurt I want to get angry.

When I’m hurting I want to break.

I want to feel all these things in extremes.

I want to be able to Love like there’s no tomorrow.

I want to feel & to experience everything this world has to offer.