We Say Some Weird Shit

A, eating cake: No wonder Marie Antoinette didn't give a fuck, this shit is good

teacher: *sings opera to get the students’ attention*

“god really said ‘i’m bored let me make all these people so that i can ruin their lives”

“ding dong i’ve got a big schlong”

*about Preminger from the barbie movie* “if he wasn’t such a cunt. i’d smash”

student: i bought my first vape from a piercing place off a guy named patch. he’s called patch cause he always wears an eye patch

“will you be my discord kitten”

*violently shaking* “i have the sudden urge to twerk”

[about big boobs] “it’s both a blessing and a curse”

“life is meaningless and the pub is everything”

“i’m a slut for myself, i would have my own kids”

“if person b was a type of chip she would be these chips because they’re both salty as hell”