the insurmountable pain

hello i'm em. i fangirl over many things and various forms of media. i'm physically unable to like anything a normal amount. i'm american (unfortunately). i'm non-religous but a believer of many things. i love to write but it's undecided if i'll be posting anything here. i have many opinions and share them frequently. i'm always looking for new mutuals so reblog this post and follow me and i'll follow you back. this is not and never will be a safe space for any form of hate against marginalized groups.

if you're a palestinian refugee seeking assistance, please reach out to one of the groups that can verify you and share your information. this blog is not the place to do so. i am not qualified to verify your status. i stand for a free palestine. please visit arab.org to see charities that assist with the fight in gaza and make donations if you can.

media | supernatural, true blood, the 100, the hunger games, criminal minds, one tree hill, avatar, taylor swift, ethel cain, hozier, noah kahan, sleep token, fiona apple, faye webster, metallica, ac/dc, phoebe bridgers, chappell roan, florence + the machine (and more..)

interests | i collect vinyl and cd - mostly taylor swift as i'm a massive swiftie. i love houseplants. i have a large book collection, though i've downsized recently as i haven't been reading often. i love to write poetry.

dni if you are | racist, homophoic, a white supremacist, misogynistic, anti-feminist, nazi, zionist, anti-blm, anti-semitic, islamophobic, maga, pro-life, a christian nationalist, terfs

and proshippers

yes, i am american, and yes, these hateful groups are apart of my everyday life as i live in a red state. i'm supremely uninterested with interacting with them online.

a vendor at my work asked for my instagram and he seems nice enough but i have to remember that he carries a box cutter and what if he came at me with that for rejecting him.

a coworker i never talk to calls me a nickname and its harmless enough that i can ignore it but it makes me uncomfortable because i don't know his intentions in doing so. will i ask him to stop? no. because there's that lingering reminder that if he cornered me while i walk home there's little i can do so i might as well be nice.

a customer invited me to his hotel and i laughed, but had a panic attack after because it triggered my ptsd. yet in the moment i couldn't react like that because what if he got violent.

a male customer threw a can of paint at me in a fit of rage because i asked him to be patient while i finished up with another customer. a male coworker took photos of a female coworker in the break room, to do god knows what with, and that same coworker now calls me 'princess'. a male customer waited for me to get off of work for three hours, and came inside looking for me when i didn't. a random man exposed himself to me while i was leaving work.

having to live with the knowledge that, yeah, i've got family members that would've been nazis if this was 1940's germany is shocking

i'm always at the restaurant