In Which Some Trolls Play A Game

When broaching the subject of leprechaun romance, our feeble human minds immediately assume the most ingratiating posture of glee imaginable. What whimsy, what mystery, what the fuck! Here, we will do our best to unravel all the different nine charms of LEPRECHAUN ROMANCE, in order to construct a romantic system that ADEQUATELY INCLUDES THE ROMANTIC OPTIONS OF ONE WEIRD CLOWN GIRL. So without further Ado, or with it if she decides to join us…

Let’s get this shit fuckin storted

but furst…(fred durst)

A brief explainer.

A JIG is the type of courtship dance you perform, either when romancing an attractive and silly person, or simply to reaffirm the feelings of your relationship. When in doubt, Jig it out.

A JAPE is another form of courtship, this time taking the form of Sick Prankz. Anything you can use to get an edge, to get a brief Jortle out of them, or simply yourself, counts as a Jape.

A WHIMSY is a feeling, a scene, or something else exemplifying the pure Vibes of the romance. A few examples are given, but a Whimsy is not such a thing to be tied down. After all, the charms are made to be mixed into TROVES, with three being the bare minimum for a proper trove.

CHARM 1: 💗 (Heart)

The heart is the one charm that actually means romantic love in the sense of human romance and matespritship. It is notably pink, while most other romance systems use a saturated red heart. 

JIG: A quick and lively dance in close proximity to a partner. Maybe even (scandalous!) some bumpin’ and grindin’. Turning this sockhop into a sockless hop if you know what I’m saying.

JAPE: The classic to end all classics. Bucket on the door. (Cultural specific) WHIMSY: Skipping along carefree, arm in arm, a feeling of warmth inside.

CHARM 2: 🌙 (Moon)

A symbol associated with dreams, mystery, and the night. A common sign that one is in moons with another is seeing them in your dreams, or them seeing you in their dreams. JIG: A sneaky, tip-toeing, light jig, almost airy, never quite touching each other. Jesus would approve. 

JAPE: Be the monster under the bed, sneaking up on the partner and startling them in a safe but traditionally scary location. (monster in the closet works a-ok if your bed has no underside) WHIMSY: Sneaking off under the cover of night,  doing a merry canter on your prospective lover’s windowsill, whispered jokes under the covers.

CHARM 3: ⭐ (Star)

The orange star, associated with excellence, achievement, perhaps even a far-flung imagination that goes a bit beyond reality. A common sign you are in stars with another is coming up with wildly ambitious schemes that are nearly certainly doomed to fail. But you try anyways.

JIG: Hand in hand  bouncing up and down. Legs kicked up behind, butterfly kisses. JAPE: Pantsing someone whilst onstage giving a big presentation, killing the president with a pie-to-the-face necksnap. Anything wildly important that can be brought down with a pratfall. WHIMSY: A sporadic and spur of the moment journey, often lasting at least an hour, to an unknown or unvisited location. 

CHARM 4: 🍀 (Four-leaf Clover)

The clover is associated with, what else, luck. To be honest, achieving this with someone is nearly impossible to do intentionally. It must be stumbled into on a whim, perhaps literally falling into one’s lap on a chance journey. The clover is a treasured, and often dangerous charm, but those who achieve it are, well, extraordinarily lucky.

Jig: Socks on a smooth polished floor, slip around defying gravity with the sheer will of your connection. If you fall you’ll get back up laughing and slip slide some more.

Jape: Spending all of their savings on scratch-off lotto tickets. You’re either getting laid or getting VERY dumped. 

Whimsy: A night at the casino to win it big, throwing your life to the wind on some daredevil stunt, a meet-cute at the top of a colliding rollercoaster.

Charm 5: 🔷 (Diamond)

The blue diamond is closely related to the troll concept of moirallegiance. The diamond is a stable shape and be it red or blue it represents stability, be it of reaching where you want to be, or a strong foundation to build upon. 

Jig: A simple, steady square dance, perfectly in sync, with a couple shooshpaps thrown in for good measure.

Jape: The surprise of a breakfast in bed, but the food won't stop coming. Be buried under freshly squeezed orange juice and lovingly jellied toast.

Whimsy: A pale session on a plush quilt, the warmth underneath you as you sit on their lap. Being in the car with an incredibly safe driver.

Charm 6: 𝝮 (Horseshoe)

Horseshoes are associated partially with challenge, a game, and irony. A horseshoe is lucky, but it’s simply a marker of the most challenging and ironic situations. Also horses.

Jig: A lively and sardonic canter with a particularly risky somersault down a grassy hill, or a jagged set of concrete steps. 

Jape: Physical non-lasting injury. Bonking someone with a biiiiiiiiig mallet. Big lumps on the head, flattened into an accordion. (WARNING: DO NOT TRY UNLESS SILLY). Performing pranks in ironic proximity to horses. 

Whimsy: Chase through hallway with many doors, coming out completely different ones than the ones entered. Sometimes swapping outfits and gaining other members to your procession. A boxing match where both of you have guns taped to your back.

Charm 7: 🎈 (Balloon)

This charm is primarily associated with freedom, knowing that you have a relationship even when apart, that allows you the independence to experiment. Associated with polyamorous, long distance, and open relationships, flight and travel. 

Jig: A wide and free-flowing twirl, lifting each other up over and over, then separating till only the tips of your fingers remain.

Jape: Showing up unannounced at your long-distance partner’s doorstep and utterly imposing on them. But they love it all the same.

Whimsy: Making out with your roommates while couchsurfing, a wild kiss in a hot-air balloon, the open road flying by.

Charm 8: 🌈 (Rainbow)

The rainbow is adventure, going beyond boundaries. The journey is the relationship, the relationship is the journey. This charm represents growth and change, be it progression or regression, what matters is to be doing it together.

Jig: Running leaps, a jig in motion, something wild and unexpected. The kind you see in a musical where people are jumping on tables and shit.

Jape: Dying your partner’s hair color while they’re asleep. Genderpranking them leading to self-discovery. Whimsy: Packing bags together, and making sure that together you have what you need, not one carrying it all. 

Charm 9: 🍯 (Pot o’ Gold)

This one’s allllllll about the money. Material goods, gifts, splendor. But it’s not necessarily just about gr33d and gain. It can also be in the little treasures that you hold, your favorite mug, or a timeless autograph from the creators of the Hit Webcomic Outcaste. Wow! So cool.

Jig: Dousing one another in fake or real money, break out the monopoly board we’re getting silly. Confetti works just as well, what needs to be is something falling down around you.

Jape: Buying your partner gag gifts: I’m talking fake snakes stored in cans of peanuts, or actual snakes stored in their plate of spaghetti. Giving them a box that hurls a pie in their face. Whimsy: Digging for buried treasure, looking for something lost. The chaos in the search is all the more fun.