Bucky Barns AU Pt. 2/2
The more silence that was surrounding Bucky, the more he wanted to get up and shout at the top of his lungs. He went to bed at 'way too late' o'clock and didn't Ā sleep. What had happened kept replaying in his head, playing with all the different outcomes. But that didn't change the current outcome that had you laying down in a sterile room trying to recover from the bullets he had put there.
Ā "Fuck...," he breathed as he got up from the bed and walked over to the bathroom. Seeing himself in the mirror, he wanted to smash it to smithereens, but that wouldn't stop his reflection from being there. A mirror is still a mirror.
Ā Quickly finishing up there, Bucky walked back into this room, the alarm clock said 5 am. Great, people should be getting up and doing their morning shit. If he left, people would definitely look at him and if he was caught visiting her, it could be even more awkward.
Ā Face the music and just get over it already, Bucky thought as he got himself together and headed out. Steve gave everyone the day off because of how close she is to everyone. No one would be able to think straight.
Ā Bucky's whole body went on autopilot and he started walking towards the recovery rooms. Steve and his idea must have worked because no one was operating on her anymore. Ā
Ā Steve caught Bucky first, "Going to see her?"
"Uh.. I was thinking about it."
"Good," Steve nodded and put his hand on Bucky's metal shoulder. "She would like that."
Ā "Did our idea work?"
"It wasn't easy, but the short answer is yes. The long answer is that I don't know what is going to happen should she wake up."
Bucky nodded and headed towards the rooms again. He really should go and apologize immediately, but then again he shouldn't even be in her presence. Here he was, standing outside her door, breathing like all the air was suddenly taken out of the room. Opening the door, he was shocked on what he saw.
Ā She was pale. So fucking pale. Heart beat was all over the place, breathing mask was on her face, IV was pumping God knew what into her. Finally, his body got with the program and he planted himself in the chair next to her bed. Her hair was braided and away from her face.
Ā He should say something. Has to say something. Bucky was the reason she was there and looking like she was next to death. Taking in a huge breath he let it out slowly and slightly shaking, "I'm - God, I am so sorry."
Ā Everyday he would say that and he would sit with her for hours. It was his own way of doing a penance and also keeping a close eye on her should anything happen. His routine was getting pretty bleak, it was go to sleep at an ungodly hour, sleep for 5 hours max with a ton of nightmares in-between all that, get up, shower, and come here. At times someone would bring him food of some sort and check on her as well.
Ā Missions were being handed back out, but nothing too big. Everyone was still relatively distracted, including himself.
Ā The first indication that things were looking up was when her heart rate went from erratic to steady. The next was when all the other vitals started doing the same thing. Everything was going back to be as normal as they were before he fucked them up.
Ā Finally after almost a week of him sitting on his ass in her recovery room and going through the scenario a thousand times she took the biggest inhale of breath he had ever heard. Immediately, he got up and went over to her bedside. She was looking around frantic and trying to get her body to respond to her commands. With all of that, her heart rate was going nuts and she was panicking.
Ā "No, no. Shhh. Baby, it's alright. You're alright. We are back at the compound. Everything is alright," was all he could come up with.
Ā But she was still freaking out and not listening to him at all. Bucky thought about calling for Nat or Wanda, but stopped that one short. He should take care of this, he put her into this mess and he should be the one to calm her back down.
Ā Making a quick decision Bucky had undid the railing of the hospital bed. Putting his knee on the edge of the bed, he got up and got right into her line of vision, "Hey, I know. It's alright. You're okay, you're alright I swear."
When Bucky finally got her attention and line of sight, he went in closer and put his normal hand on her face, "We are at the compound. You are fine. Everyone is fine."
Ā Staring deep into her eyes, and not caring what was shown coming out of his own. The beeping of the heart monitor started to slow down and he kept holding his breath, waiting for her powers to kick in. But when they didn't, Bucky kept physical contact and moved his other hand towards her head, "It's okay. We are safe. I am so fucking sorry, Baby. I am sorry."
Ā Her hand moved between their bodies and went for the mask, moving it down a little, "You missed."
Ā Bucky closed his eyes, "I know. I am the reason why you are in this position."
Ā "How long have I been out for?"
"Over a week. Everyone is devastated that I did this to you," Bucky gladly admitted.
Ā "You have got to stop saying it like that," You said while taking a long look around the med bay that you were in.
Ā Bucky didn't move from where he was, "Because it is the truth?"
Your eyes landed back on his and looked at him confused, "Because it was an accident, James."
His eyes closed when you called him by his real name, "I fucking shot you."
"Twice if I recall. But it was an accident. He went one way, you went another and shot before you could recalibrate. It happens," You reasoned and your body started to become more relaxed.
Ā Not happy with your answer, Bucky moved off you and sat back down on the chair that he had practically claimed. All of the sudden, he didn't know whether or not it was a good idea to touch your hand. Considering how close he was a moment ago. "I don't make mistakes like that."
"Everyone makes mistakes. Century old super assassin or not," you again reasoned out.
Ā Huffing out a puff of air, Bucky leaned back on the chair and looked at the wall on the other side of the bed. Now that he knows that you are okay and don't blame him. What happens now? Would you still harbor harsh feelings for him? Hate him - could he live with himself if you did? What if -
Suddenly, you hand was in his and you were looking right at him. Not through him, but at the guy sitting down on the chair. "Stop."
"Stop what?"
"You are thinking so loud that you are the loudest thing in the room. Even beating out the heart monitor," you joke and smile softly.
He kept staring at your hand in his and sighed out, "I am half ass expecting you to use your powers on me in revenge."
This time, you sighed, "I don't blame you. I would never harm you over this."
"But you should I know better. My reflexes are better than this - how could I ever do this-"
"Did you mean it??"
That made him stop again, "What?"
"Did you mean to shoot me? Twice?" You looked at him like that was the answer was pretty obvious. And it was.
"Of course not. Never." He adamantly said.
Ā You smiled and nodded your head like it all made sense, "Then I am not mad. It was an accident. I would never harm you on purpose and you wouldn't harm anyone let alone me either. Accidents make us human, Bucky. Super solider or not. You are still human under all that."
Bucky let out a long breath and sniffed a few times, "I am really so so fucking sorry."
"I know you are. And I accept your apology," you said while smiling at him like you two understood something secret.
Ā "Finally! You're awake!" Nat said as she came in the room with Dr. Strange behind her.
















