Our Darling Grace ♥

20th July 2017. • I haven't really got the words. I'm feeling all kinds of things, but today is no worse than the other 364 spent without you. You were so loved, so wanted and so needed. • This is not a "happy 1st birthday" . Today will always be remembered as the worst day of my life. Today is not the day you were born to me, it's the day you died and how can I possibly celebrate that? • I honestly don't know how I'm still alive. We've just lost so much, so much. I find myself saying "all of the little things that I love die" and people look at me strange - but it is true isn't it? • Most of all Grace, I just wanted you to keep. That feeling is coming with me to the end.

They never heal, nor would I want them to really now. The wounds are all i've got.

One pair of "big girl knickers". Been worn extensively in the past 6 months. Elastic slackened. Fabric threadbare. Too big for me to fill now. Don't want to wear them anymore. Someone elses turn please.

I’m broken now And I will never be the same Part of me is always missing And no one is to blame.

what it is like to spend your whole life aching, yearning, hoping and wishing for someone that is never coming back. Ask me in a good few years, if i’m so lucky. Will miss you until my grave. “Do not fear growing old; it is a priviledge denied to many”

that people would want to know what Grace looked like. Less than 10 of our family and close friends met her physically. But, we have photos of her. And nobody ever asks. When a live baby is born people are so excited to see who they look like, whose nose they have, whose eyes they have etc. When it's a dead baby though, somehow people can't see past that. We are proud of how beautiful you were, that's all that matters.