pronouns in pinned | Hello !! You may call me either Mizi, Lavi, or Jay. I'm here because I'm lonely as hell and I want a place to safely dump my stuff in whenever I want.
pinterest: otohina_ (I post whispers of my short thoughts there!)
discord: otohina_ (I'll likely respond to you right away, assuming that I'm not pre-occupied)
reddit: otohina_ (I'll post there when I become confident enough, probably)
ao3: oto_hnx (there's nothing there rn but I'm working on smth trust)
----------------
tags n shi
#she mizi on my js till i yapping - just rambles
#actually not brief not sloppy - walls of text (quality varies)
#mizi's art... kinda. maybe. - artworks
----------------
also my needle playlist !!
----------------
More about me under the cut :D
As stated on my bio, my names are Mizi, Lavi, and Jay. I primarily prefer he/him, but that may change sometimes. The only neos I'm okay with are xe/xem.
My only consistent DNI is loli/shotacons, darkshippers, and right-wingers. I block freely.
Some additional basic stuff about me: en.pronouns.page/@otohinyaa
----------------
Some of my interests:
BFDI (Main, for now - only because of Needle though lol)
Murder Drones
BanG Dream!
Touhou Project
Project Sekai
----------------
Other media I like, but don't engage with much/might larp:
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
i sat here and thought about reblogging this or not but then i realized how many people feel suicidal, and i have too its not dan and phil but i could honestly care less, bc i rather have someone not die then make sure i strictly stay to my ‘blog type’
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I genuinely don't think it matters if parents love their kid or not, honestly. It truly doesn't matter, as love is just an emotion, and your emotions truly do not matter when it comes to the wellbeing of other people. Your actions do.
It doesn't matter how much love you have for your kid, how much you just wanted to protect them and give them the best life they could... if you abuse them, you abused them. If you hit your kid, screamed at your kid, sexualized your kid, and you take 0 accountability for it because you love them, you are no better than a parent that despises their child or doesnt care for their child and does the same thing. As they like to say, facts do not care about your feelings. Harm is still harm when it comes from a loving heart.
hi this is basically just gonna be a wall of text explaining my headcanon(s) for my beloved (under the cut) if you're interested! and yeah it WILL take some supposedly lighthearted moments seriously :DDDDD
The general idea is: Needle always suppresses her feelings, and this doesn't change except her reasons for doing so.
cw: bullying mention
Needle used to be bullied, often calling her Needy especially - whenever she told them to stop, they'd double down, and she would feel utterly humiliated and inferior whenever she showed signs of weakness. There was not a single moment with others where she could be calm because she always had to ensure she didn't get overpowered by them, which was why slapping others whenever she heard "Needy" became a reflex (this is also a headcanon) and she developed the tendency to avoid being vulnerable because all of the times she did that ended badly for her.
The bullying eventually faded away. She still generally wasn't very respected though, as they always disregarded the ONE BOUNDARY she constantly enforced, and just as she was about to explain it, she's flung into the TLC.
Needle became more friendly and cooperative in BFDIA because she wanted to improve her reputation beyond just "someone who slaps people over a nickname." In pre-hiatus, she's coerced into joining WOAH Bunch using that very boundary. Not only that, she gets cut off when she was about to speak up about something and one of the first ever contributions she makes for them is being burned to death while she protested. As if she was worthless.
She's accustomed to being disregarded at this point.
That, alongside feeling obligated to please everyone, made her unable to think about herself because she didn't have the capacity to, and assumed that she wanted to make herself known as she felt some inferiority to them at the time because of it - so she kept going, being the good teammate that she is!
And you know how that went.
In the gap between BFDIA 18 and 19, after some self-reflection, Needle felt like there was something missing despite how empowering the decision to "win for herself" felt at the moment, but she ended up shushing herself because she mistakened it for cowardice. Being a good teammate did absolutely nothing to make herself known - in fact, it somehow made her feel more inferior than before.
Again, you know how that went. She pushes everyone away.
Then one day, Pencil would stop her - even if her words didn't hit her deepest spots and she might've had her own interests in mind, it still made her realize that all along, she really was just lonely as hell.
Since then, they became very close to each other (in a gay way yes) - she even actually opens up to her at some point about her loneliness (specifically while stargazing! so cute!!!! that's another headcanon, takes place during IDFB), albeit partially. For once, being vulnerable felt safe.
At this point, she's at her happiest. Needle couldn't thank her enough for it. She was very important to her. Nothing could ever ruin this, right?
I have an entire document about this, but I'm gonna try to condense it: Unfortunately, this didn't last forever. She noticed Pencil treating the others, especially the alternates, badly - sometimes even she got dragged along. At first, she made excuses for every time she did, but there was too much instances of this to continue with that.
She eventually confronted her over this for Book and Ice Cube's sakes after a long dilemma and the argument ends with Needle being the one who leaves her.
She's glad she did, but for some reason, another part of her that's so loud that it might as well override her "rational" side, wanted to go back right away and take back her decision. It was basically consuming her, she wanted to cry.
Needle tried her hardest to push it down because "she shouldn't be feeling like this". She just barely held it in, then Book found her while she was doing her thing and tried comforting her - which led to the realization that she felt like this because she wanted Pencil back. Then she couldn't hold it in anymore.
Rather than accepting it (for someone like Needle, of course she's gonna be attached), she hated herself for it - she thought that she was selfish and a bad person for missing and still loving her. She was also scared of what Book and Icy would think of her after this and, at least to her, they had the rights to hate her and say all kinds of bad things about her.
She hadn't told anyone at this point in time and it haunted her. All of that changed her view on her emotions entirely - rather than just suppressing it as a defense mechanism, she genuinely just thinks that her emotions are stupid and worthless now (unless...?).
That's all !! Just in case you forgot: Most of these are just my headcanons.
Also, the extent of her suffering after the Pencil thing will depend on her relationship with Coiny and Pin after this. I have two outcomes for it, but this isn't about that. I'll elaborate if even just one person is interested (it won't be another wall of text though).
object shows are (lovingly) so stupid bc like wdym theres a character who, when extremely upset, spawns a being created by her pure hatred and spite that is unstoppable and consumes others under its control. thats so cool. and then u look into the character and its name is evil leafy and its js a red leaf with a pissed off expression
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Complaining about the bullshit the human body does is underrated. I swore more than I ever did for the past month in a few minutes just from this, which shows how angry I am. I hope someone else thinks the same too.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
