Otaku's Drabbles

Right well half of their clients are nonhumans in their original form that want a break from their human lives. At first it's all normal pets, dogs,,, cats,,, maybe a bird or two... Nothing abnormal.

Things are all fine and dandy until a nonhuman--a dog demon--gets the genius idea to hire a petsitter...for themselves. Her entire train of thought was "I want to be pampered, and I'd also like a break from my responsibilities." so she hires many different pet sitters for herself, trying to find one that sticks.

Most of the ones she finds aren't bad--definitely not--they take all of the safety precautions that they would for a normal dog... Even when she gives them special instructions on how to treat her the dog they aren't attentive as she'd like. I mean, who's letting a dog watch tv and laze around all day? Who's going to give a dog a full night-routine? There's a ton of limitations that she has when it comes to the pet sitters, and she can't really blame them for treating her like,, well.. a pet.

Well she's running out of hope and she randomly hires these decently rated pair of pet sitters, two guys that look like they rely on energy drinks to make it through the days. Her hopes aren't high but holy hell they do the best job out of everyone.

She hires them twice, the first time she calls it's Shen Yuan that comes 'round. He looks over the instructions and raises an eyebrow while muttering something about rich people... BUT HE FOLLOWS THEM. He turns on her TV show at the time she specified in the letter, he brushes her from head to toe--so thorough with it that she feels like a brand new dog at the end, he doesn't question when she sits to eat at her own table. He does everything on the instructions left behind and he does such a good job (except for the cooking bit, but she can excuse that) that she can't help but brag about it to her fellow dog demon group.

Word gets around, and after a few more suspicious hires with oddly intelligent pets SY and XF have made a name in the spiritual beat/demon community. Nobody expected to get such good treatment from the two, but like they are broke college students trying to get a bit more cash, why wouldn't they take these easy jobs? It's not that hard to pamper animals anyways.

ANYWAYS ANYWAYS SO AFTER WORD GETS AROUND SUDDENLY THEY'RE PET SITTING FOR THESE HIGH END NAMES LIKE.. /THE/ LIU QINGGE, A WORLD RENOWNED MARTIAL ARTIST, ASKED THEM TO PET SIT? (LQG didn't need to be pampered but he does enjoy it. He really just wanted to run around in his original form but he didn't want to get photographed and targetted or something idk) SY and XF don't question the fact that LQG's pet is a.. giant wolf thing, the rich live in different worlds than them anyways.

QI QINGQI ASKED THEM TO PETSIT FOR HER??? LIKE ONE OF THE MOST WELL KNOWN FASHION DESIGNERS THAT CLAWED HER WAY TO THE TOP IN A CUTTHROAT INDUSTRY? Do they care that they're watching over a ... weird horse..? NO. MONEY IS MONEY. (Qi Qingqi says that her 'pet' is a rare horse with,,, odd skull growth, which resulted in the weird horn like structure on the head and the abnormally long tail for a horse. SY and XF don't question it actually)

SY and XF had a whole motto of just.. not questioning things above their paygrade. AND THEIR CLIENTS LOVE IT. LIKE whoops, XF saw Liu Qingge's "pet" fly! Oh XF said "huh, that was a long jump. Must be a special breed..." and kept it pushing... PERFECT

... Mu QingFang absolutely is the last to find out about this "pet sitting" and becomes aware of it well after all of this gets established. He's upset he wasn't included in knowing they could just have rest days where these two very well-qualified people pamper them. He works the hardest out of all of them and not a single one of them told him about this! He had to find out on his own >:(

ALSO SINCE I'M ON THE MOSHANGXIANG? TRAIN? IT'D BE SO FUNNY IF SHANG QINGHUA GIFTS XF ONE OF HIS TAILS TRANSFORMED INTO LIKE A COAT BECAUSE MBJ'S LIKE "You better give him something" and SQH'S LIKE BRO WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO??

IGULPS ANGSTFULLY,,, BUT LIKE.... LIKE... SY disappearing one day while he's out for some groceries or whatever and all of their usual clients are worried sick because there's no sign of him and he's not picking up anyone's calls and XF's so worried that he stops taking jobs and starts looking for SY, who has in fact been snatched up by some super secret paranormal services who are trying to pry information out of him.

SY doesn't understand half of the questions asked and he genuinely can't give answers and they are quite literally torturing him and

GETS DRAGGED AWAY BY THE ANGST POLICE

Ryland Grace Erid apology tour (Huh forgave him instantly. he still hasn't recovered tho). Also please don't mind me I posted it at 4 am at first

Based on this specific comment:

He's been odd since his first visit to another universe, and Mobei Jun is eventually able to piece together that he met himself there... And that the alternate version of himself had only one wife and felt no need for more.

As soon as he heard that Mobei Jun knew this would be a Problem. Women are Junshang's only vices, and it doesn't take a genius to guess he's looking for something in them that he cannot find within himself. That such a woman apparently exists, but only in another universe must rankle him.

And indeed Junshang abandons his usual bride collecting habits, and turns to trying to find this mystery woman in this universe or others.

The travelling between universes worries him, his people have many such stories about that type of travel going horribly wrong ... He's almost relieved when Junshang returns from one of these trips with a strange flat blue box trailing him. Maybe it will inspire Junshang to stay home more often. (Mobei Jun is a little sick of taking on all of these disasters Junshang usually handles.)

And Junshang does stay, his attention split now between his duties and whatever strange projects the box tells him.

The collapse of the harem is inevitable. Most of the women leave with their divorces and a chunk of the Treasury without complaints. Some make things difficult though... And a few, only three or so, stay anyway, presumably out of love for their husband. Though perhaps they just truly have nowhere else to go.

The machine Junshang pours most of his attention into is bizarre. Mobei Jun won't pretend to understand what it does. (He does have a generator installed in his own palace, electric lights are far less labor intensive than candles or magic lighting.)

The machine says a lot of things in the same tinkling voice the blue box used. He doesn't understand most of them, but eventually Junshang gets what he wants out of the machine it seems.

He leans over the large blue screen, eyes fixed on a blinking dot on it.

"There you are." Junshang says.

"WARNING! LOW PRECISION MATCH! CANNOT PERFORM EXACT RELOCATION!"

"We don't need that! Make the transfer!"

"WARNING! ESTIMATED SIZE OF TRANSFER -"

"I don't care! Do it!"

There's an enormous earthquake then, Mobei Jun has to kneel to avoid falling over, it's brief though, over in a few seconds.

"What did you do?" Mobei Jun asked.

"I found him," Junshang said. "And brought him here."

Him? Huh.

The machine chimed again. "Relocation of City of Shanghai complete, approximate population transferred with greater metropolitan area 24,000,000."

Mobei Jun stared. Junshang stared.

"How many?" Junshang said.

"Target Shen Yuan resides in Shanghai Municipality, due to low precision seeking Target's entire hometown was relocated to ensure his safe transfer. Estimated population of Shanghai is 24 million people."

So Grace 1000% starts picking up and mimicking Eridian noises.

One day, Rocky will be working on something, only to freeze as he hears Grace behind him suddenly exclaim in fluent Eridian "SHIT!"

Like he was just calling human eating disgusting, what was he going to do, say "okay actually the way Eridians eat is so incredibly gross we do it in private sound-proofed rooms"? And cede the conversational high-ground and sense of species superiority to Grace??? Nah, it looks beautiful, definitely.

Then Grace says "show me" and Rocky is stuck now, he's committed. So he just bucks up and goes all-in. It's not like he'll see the human after this is all done, he can pretend it's totally normal just this once.

Waya can never tell if he's joking or not (he isn't)