✨Bear Club✨

we've both been losing weight because we can't cook anymore in that kitchen.

we barely eat anymore unless it's at work, or unless we get groceries we can keep in our room, which as you can imagine, is not great since we need everything to be able to last outside of a fridge.

we rarely get delivery anymore as his mother screams at, threatens us and blows up our phones when she watches us through the ring camera and finds out we got delivery.

i don't even leave our room at all anymore unless it's to go to work, as almost every single time i leave the room, his father starts fights with me over everything and anything, if i talk about the bugs or if i talk about how hot it is in the house, if i talk about trans stuff, he's said some pretty nasty racist things to me before because i'm asian, and if i ever tell him to stop, he blows up at me or calls me overly sensitive for not agreeing or laughing at the racism he spews at me.

i'm autistic, have hyperthyroidism and hyperhidrosis and he has the heater on 75-80 degrees year round. it causes me to have meltdowns almost daily, because i'll be sweating so much from the heat and it feels like my insides are burning because of how hot it gets. he doesn't care. he won't use blankets or wear warm clothing, and he screams at us if we try to change the temperature.

the hot temperature is only making the bug infestations worse, so during the winter, the bugs are constant. we haven't been bug free in over 5 years now. it only gets worse and worse the more time passes.

i've started to just not talk at all anymore in front of him, but he still finds things to rage over and scream at us for.

my fiance only really leaves the room to get us water a couple times a day, or to take care of his mother as he's been her caretaker since he was a small child. his father will still cause fights with him, but he'd rather it be him than me since he really hates that his father is so comfortable taking his anger out on me. i just want this all to end already, i really hate the life we're trapped in. it's agonizing, and we've spent too much time crying over this house. we need to get out so badly.