Chapter 5 of "Call Me Hopeless, Not Romantic" out now!
Here is my favourite snippet from the latest chapter. For context: this is a funnybunny fake-dating college au story WITH a transfem jax coming out arc!!
Pomni has been on an insane sleep schedule since school started that has essentially consisted of endless studying followed by six hours of sleep if she gets lucky. Add the last night on top of that, and her body has been totally out of whack. When she crashes in Jax's bed, both her muscles and brain feel beyond relieved.
Which is why it's jarring to be woken up only two hours later to someone gripping her shoulder and shaking it. Before she can strangle them, her eyes finally adjust and she realizes it’s Jax next to her.
It’s hard to make out his expression in the dark. “You were mumbling and shaking in your sleep,” he whispers.
Pomni swallows the blunt response she was prepared to give. She sits up and rubs her eyes, trying to think clearly.
She knows she has nightmares. With all the shit she’s been through, it’s kind of a given. But they don’t happen all the time and whenever they do, she finds her own way to calm herself back to sleep — even if it takes hours.
Of course she had to have one now, of all nights possible.
“Sorry if I woke you,” she mutters. She doesn’t look over at him because she has no clue how he’s going to react. He has a way of seeing through her and that’s the last thing she wants right now. They continue to sit in silence and it becomes obvious that he isn’t going back to sleep.
“I’m fine you can go back to bed, idiot,” she murmurs.
“Do you have nightmares every night?” he asks, ignoring her requests.
Pomni forces herself to take another deep breath. She doesn’t want to have this conversation at all, especially in the middle of the night when she’s just woken up.
“Not usually. They’re random,” she answers, pulling her knees up to her chest and burying her face in them. “You didn’t have to wake me up.”
Jax shifts himself up to a crossed-legged position, facing her more directly. They continue to sit in silence.
“I think the couch is probably safe by now” she mumbles, turning to get up. “I’m sorry for bothering you.”
Jax quickly grabs her shoulder and pulls her back so they’re facing each other again. “Don’t be stupid, Pomni.” There's a sort of desperation in his voice that admittedly shocks her. Her heart is hammering out of her chest.
At the look in his eyes, the fight drains out of her all at once. She slowly settles back onto the mattress, curling in on herself. The irritation that had been there only moments ago has disappeared, replaced by something far more unsettling. There is a quiet panic in her expression, a wordless plea not to send her back to whatever she'd been trapped in before he woke her. She looks impossibly small like this, shoulders drawn inward, trying so hard to keep herself together that it almost hurts to watch. He isn't sure why, but seeing her like this makes his heart feel impossibly heavy.
And so, he moves his hand down from her shoulder to her hand, slowly intertwining their fingers. Her breathing shifts for a moment, but she doesn’t protest — all of the frustration seems to fade from her. They both lie back down, hands still connected. He throws the pillow between them away and she doesn’t protest.
Jax has never been good with comforting people. He doesn’t know what it’s supposed to look like because when he was upset growing up, he would just sit alone in his room until he felt better.
But in this moment, Pomni can tell that he is trying to reassure her that if she can feel him physically when she falls back asleep, she’ll know she’s not alone. He’s there with her for whatever waits for her when she closes her eyes again.
She squeezes his hand, soaking in the offered comfort — even though she knows it’s probably a bad idea. It’s not the most comfortable position, but neither of them pull away until they fall back asleep.
The nightmares don’t go away, but for once, they become easier to face.
Read the full story here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/88234806/chapters/233966966
