Coffeecupchronicles

A reviewer I really like stated that in his opinion Ragatha and Pomni's hug felt unearned and them calling each other "best friends" and "the best thing that ever happened to me" is unearned.

Because I respect them I went back to the show to rewatch all the scenes the two had with each other and frankly? I disagree.

There's constant longing between them, and not just on Ragatha's end.

Pomni clearly views Ragatha as a safe person to be around, and including Jax she's one of the closest people to her. They care for each other, value each other's opinions and look for each other's approval & company often (at first it's mainly Ragatha, but later it's Pomni - especially episodes 3, 6, 7, and 8-9).

I personally think that the last scene could possibly be a good setup for a slow-burn romance between them. It's a nice conclusion to all the longing, the getting to know, care for and trust each other and so on. But I'm likely biased since Ragatha is my favorite and I'm a RagaPom/FunnyDoll shipper, and like 99.99999999% sure they're both sapphic.

Another gentle reminder that there will be spoilers and mentions of heavy topics, please be mindful.

It's been 4 days since I've watched the finale and I had time to gather my thoughts, both on the episode itself and on it's heavy themes .

🎪 "Lore":

So... When it comes to this show specifically, I don't really mind the lore too much. While it was interesting to briefly get information about C&A in the background of each episode or have it as a fun side-story, I didn't really care to explore it further (and this is coming from a FNaF & Poppy Playtime fan). I watched some reviews on YouTube complaining about it not being explored enough and to that I say - congratulations, you missed the point.

I'm aware that not all reviewers and fans follow Gooseworx's social media and they don't know that she confirmed that the show is more character-based, but I think the episodes themselves make a pretty good job of establishing that.

C&A are much more of a background set piece and Kinger's the main character through which (besides Caine) we get to explore it through, and even then it is much more focused on his emotions, his loss and his perspective on it, rather the mechanics of the company itself and it's purpose. Same goes for Scratch, most of his mentions and appearance surround the existential dread of being stuck in the circus and the sheer human drive for survival in the face of a terminal disease.

Caine and Bubble's (and by extension Blue Dot) purpose wasn't for environmental purposes in the story, it was an exploration of AI, existential themes, friendship, and the capacity to learn, grow, purpose and it's meaning, improve and gain vs. lose trust in someone, insecurities and rigidity (following "rules" or "code" vs. actually listening to a person) and so on.

📚 Story:

The shows main themes as I experienced them while watching it are mainly existentialism, friendship, mental health and finding meaning in life (stagnant or otherwise). In this episode I enjoyed multiple things in the story which I want to note:

Ragatha and Pomni's relationship is much more than just friendship on a surface level at this point they had to disagreements, miscommunications and now I feel like they've reached a mutual understanding on the level that is so much deeper than what they started with in the pilot. They're long hug and sweet conversation I need me to feel very satisfied with how their relationship developed. Also I'm a slow-burn FunnyDoll/Ragapom enjoyer, so I may be biased. Also also, Ragatha is my favorite character.

Zooble and Gangle's blossoming romance that started with a genuine and beautiful friendship reached a very satisfying conclusion in my opinion. I especially enjoyed the part where Zooble supported Gangle throughout her grieving process after Jax's abstraction.

Gangle's character not being forced into forgiving Jax was a very good choice, if unfortunately an uncommon one with media that deals with the lasting trauma of bullying (looking at you, 13 Reasons Why). Her confusion, lack of ability to cry and slow, unique process of grief and healing was very touching and affected me on a personal level.

I liked how the episode elaborated on the relationship strain between Ragatha and Jax and expended on her personal grief surrounding the loss of Ribbit and Kaufmo. Her promise to Jax reminded me somewhat of the promise made between Pearl and Rose Quarts in Steven Universe. Different situation, same vow of silence that lead to someone's death.

Pomni taking an active role, alongside Kinger with learning how to conjure by trial and error was a lot of fun. When Ragatha and the rest sans Jax joined, I was very moved.

Kinger immediately taking action and trying to fix the damage Caine and himself caused to their home was great, it was a great expension to his fatherly persona - if I mess up, I'll do my best to fix and rebuild the damage I caused.

I had a feeling that Caine wasn't permanently deleted, but put into some sort of recycling bin. While it was good to see him again and I'm glad he started to work on his issues with himself and the cast, I thought that making Blue Dot the toxic part of him wasn't exactly the best choice. I recognize that Blue Dot may represent Caine's self-loathing (maybe in the form of Bubble? I'm not sure) but I wish that he, as Red Dot (I assume) would take responsibility for his actions, from the very point of swallowing Blue Dot up to his mental breakdown in episode 8.

Jax, Ribbit and Kaufmo's story will have it's own section alongside the ending, because they're both main themes.

💜 Jax:

First of all - ayyy transfem Jax confirmed. Good on you cleaver fans who gathered all the clues! It's thanks to you that I got to come across and hold that theory before going into episode 9, you've made my experience even better! (Though theories don't have to be confirmed for IPs to be fun, of course).

Now, let's get to the main points:

I liked the fact that Jax did not become "the new Caine" or the "big bad" of the finale. This decision made the conclusion of his character ironically far less cartoonish than it could've been. The trailer indeed subverted my expectations.

Jax's family backstory was touching and interesting, and I like the fact that it still has a somewhat open-end to it (especially since we're not sure if Caine's projection/presentation at the end of the episode regarding the human counterparts of the cast was true or fabricated to give them comfort).

I like the way his story explored family issues, abscent fathers and mothers that even if at the end of the day they may mean well - they may go about things in a hurtful manner.

Jax remains a character that no one is forced to either forgive or hate. He is treated as a human being that impacted others, some in horrible, frankly traumatic ways (Gangle, Ribbit, Ragatha, Zooble) and some in more positive ways (Pomni, Ribbit and Kaufmo before their falling out). He's not redeemed or irredeemed, he's judged individually by each character based on their experience with him - which I found to be very grounded and mature.

Jax being transgender and not coming out, dealing with mental health issues and even committing suicide in-circus is a gut punch, and shows how important it is to evaluate each of these trans related experiences and listen to trans voices without forcing them to comply with any narrative or stereotype.

Jax felt happy and comfortable for a sliver of a second with Ribbit putting that ribbon on his head. A single moment to finally be herself. But then - all the insecurities kicked in, and over time, after putting a wall between him and her, driving her to feel so alone and unloved (the worst think you could do to a circus member, according to Kinger) that she ended up abstracting (committing suicide by succumbing to abstraction, maybe the same way Jax almost did in episode 7), the moment was reshaped by his coping mechanism ("it's all a game and we're a bunch of cartoon characters") and Ribbit became the villain that tried to expose him to the world by force. I think it's a good example to how destructive self-sabotaging can be.

I liked the idea a reviewer suggested that Jax's inner-mind represents intrusive thoughts (a form of thought which includes thinking of or committing an act one would not want or could commit, often seen as morally reprehensible), for example: crashing Zooble's funeral while dressed as a maid and making sexual passes at Gangle who's manic and also in charge of the funeral arrangements. Goose once said that there are lines that Jax wouldn't cross, and I think that and choking Pomni out Evangalion style are good examples, but it doesn't mean he didn't think about it.

I think, in a way, Jax represents a version of Gooseworx she decided to lay to rest. He is a "worse" version of her she wanted to bury once and for all, after having it exposed in the most vulnerable way. It is flawed, violent, dangerous, harmful - but at the same way it's funny, charming and endearing. I hope that if my somewhat parasocial, my bad understanding of the character is correct, Goose does not take to heart any of the criticism lemented at Jax. Even if he is based on her or she can relate to him, they're not one and the same.

💚 Ribbit:

While short lived, I really liked Ribbit's appearance and the story. She's a kind, sweet and gentle person who's been trying to find the good in the crazy situation she was stuck in - and tried to help others. With that being said, she is also a deeply thoughtful person with a troubled past and regrets, but unlike Jax - she was willing to be vulnerable and face them head on with a friend by her side. Too bad she was the only one of the two.

The depiction of the isolation she went through after Jax's decision to cut her off is very realistic. While he didn't outright harass and bully her like he did with Gangle, he still caused her to feel unneeded, unloved and uncared for. A lot of people react to situations like that but fleeing and isolating themselves. This is also in-character for them considering their relationship with their religious mormon family. She wasn't as close with Kaufmo and it makes sense she didn't open up to him, especially after Jax's reaction to net vulnerability.

I think her design and voice are beautiful and very pleasing to watch and listen to, I wish we had more of it.

❤️ Kaufmo:

I saw some people complain about wanting to see more of him, but honestly, I was never that attached to his character. If you felt especially connected to him, I get your displeasure.

I did however want him to be more angry with Jax or try harder to reach out to Ribbit (we don't see him do this at all, only once and even that through Jax).

Pretty cool fanmade animation:

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☕ My personal story:

8 years ago I lost a friend to suicide. We used to be really good friends, until we had a falling out caused by vulnerability. After that happened, that friend went out of their way to isolate me from their life, mock me openly for trying to reach out and mend our relationship and just outright hurt my feelings. While I understand they were hurting, it still wasn't something I think was right, to this day.

A year before they passed, they finally agreed to talk and we even met up and had somewhat of a good time. We shared what was new in our lives and what changed and the mental struggles we had, and just like Pomni - "I wish I inquired more". One of the things that annoyed me the most about the criticism I've seen of the finale was the fact that a lot of people seemed to miss the clear allegory here. Suicide is often sudden, leaves an empty space (more like a bottomless pit) and all around feelings of unresolved guilt and trauma that may never go away, but change with time, sharing with loved ones and therapy.

Expressing the desire to see Jax abstract on screen feels all around icky to me, for that reason. We almost saw him abstract in episode 7, and it was essentially a failed suicide attempt or a subverted one at the very least. In and of itself it was already a very complex and a unique way to show what suicidal ideation may look to someone like Jax, a person ridden with guilt, trauma and suffering mentally.

After the loss of my friend I dealt with similar feelings to both Pomni and Gangle. At first, the shock and complex emotions due to our past caused me to not be sure how to grieve properly, if at all. I didn't know if I should even grieve them, I couldn't even bring myself to go to their funeral. Only after visiting their grieving family I finally managed to cry for the first time, it's been a week since they passed. I've been dealing with resolving the trauma for this loss for the past 8 years, and even after therapy I am still processing this loss. I understand both Pomni's perspective AND Gangle's. I understand what it feels like to feel like you haven't done enough, even if you somewhat knew in retrospect that the warning signs were there, but still feeling the immense feeling of resentment and unresolved issues.

Seeing Jax's saying he's "unlovable" and a "bad person" shattered my heart, and especially when he says that he "doesn't want to go". I didn't want Jax to go, either. I didn't want my friend to go, but... It's too late, now. Just like the characters in the show, the people left behind by the person who took their own life are left to pick up the pieces and try to move on while still remembering the person that was dear to them.

There's a bit more nuance to this conversation, especially given the fact that there is a possibility to heal or change abstraction, unlike in real life with suicide, but given the fact we're not getting any more episodes beyond episode 9 the rest is left up for debate and speculation, I believe the theme of suicide, grief and loss should be addressed.

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Anyway, these are my thoughts. I enjoyed the 9th episode and I think watching this series on YouTube is a must, I'll definitely recommend it to friends even more now!

Love, Coffee 💜