OS/OR Positive

Ive been the only mod operating the blog for years since the other founders left and I never found anyone to replace them.  Being OS isn’t a very big part of my life these days and I can’t keep running this place when I have an entire other organization I help run and very little to say on being OS. I can’t field all the asks, I can’t run the Discord (which is now defunct and another OS Discord has graciously taken up its place), and I can’t keep siting here knowing we’re still getting messages. 

Im sorry to everyone who’s reached out to us during this period of inactivity and never got support, and thank you to everyone who’s continuing to create support spaces for objectum people.

I’m leaving this blog up as a resource, as a “we were here,” as a credit to the flag we designed and where it came from. 

In the end, I’m just really glad we could do something to take being objectum to having one community that only exists in a very insular, hard-to-get-into, cult-like setting as the only place to really question being objectum and meet others, to having more freely available information out here and a lot of people sharing their experiences in all sorts of places. That was my goal when I started helping to build this place, and that we got that far is a happy ending for me. 

Thanks everyone, it’s been great. 

First things first, I have to admit to being concerned about the age mentioned in this ask. There are some bad people who like to use aspec kids as a “gotcha” against us who want to paint us in a bad light for encouraging that people know themselves best, and I can’t be sure this isn’t a joke trying to do that.

But more important than if it’s a joke is if it’s not a joke. Because if you’re an actual kid who needs help and advice, then that deserves to be taken seriously and replied to sincerely. So I’m going to approach this in good faith and assume you really do need this advice. To start with the aroace thing, while I do think there’s a “too young to know for sure” age for knowing if you’re aro/ace (that I can’t dictate because everyone is different and I don’t remember what attraction felt like when I was your age,) I don’t think there’s an “old enough to know for sure” age. Only you can figure out if you’re aroace and if it’s not harming you now, it’s alright to ID that way. Of course that could always change, but I’m 23 and my labels change all the time, so that’s not special just because of your age.

So to answer your question, yes! There are names for what you’re feeling, and the one we’ll put forth here is just objectum – being attracted to objects. Which includes many people who are into machines of all sorts! Some might more specifically call themselves mechanosexual, or variations of that word. Objectum is just a wider umbrella. A lot of objectum people, people who find themselves more attracted to different kinds of objects (like mechanical ones!), are also on the aro- and/or ace-spectrums!

Usually, this refers to how we relate to other non-object people, and a lot of people might or might not continue identifying as aro/ace after learning they experience objectum attraction because of that – it’s not that we don’t experience attraction, it’s just not to people! But others still find their aro/ace identity important alongside being objectum and ID as both. You’re not alone in those feelings, and you can decide for yourself what to do with those labels. 

It’s okay to wanna kiss mechanical objects! It’s okay to feel attracted to machines, and i’ve known plenty of people who’ve had lovely, complex, and meaningful relationships with all kinds of mechanical things. I know it’s hard when we don’t get role models or representation or acceptance, but always remember that your feelings are good if they make you happy, and you’re allowed to explore them and accept them. 

I think really any configuration of who you’re attracted to is possible :)

It’s absolutely possible - and really not at all unusual within the community! Much like how someone attracted to dudes might have a crush on a guy they’d only seen in photos, someone attracted to objects might be into an object they’d never met in person :)

I’m really sorry. I’m only learning to drive, but I also live where there’s bad winters and it’s nerve wracking. I don’t think you should ever need to feel like a bad partner for looking out for her best interests - not driving as an unconfident or inexperienced driver in bad weather is protecting both of you! It sounds to me like you’re being very considerate.

Hey there,

I’m sorry it took a bit for us to get back to you on this one. Grief is never easy, and it’s especially difficult when we can’t grieve openly. I think the same sort of advice applies to these situations as it does to others: let yourself take your time, and don’t get down on yourself for feeling bad, but at the same time, try to take the time to celebrate what time you did have together. Often, our time with those we love is cut short, but we can’t do anything about that - we can only enjoy what we have, and keep moving forward. I’m sure it’s what Cyril would have wanted, too.

Hey there!

You are indeed valid, and so are they! I think one important thing to remember, though, is that our own emotions and our connection with them is always important, and staying true to ourselves is always valid. If you care about them, and they matter to you, that’s the most important thing!