which could mean nothing

there is a potent and prevailing current of eroticism in the nirvanna the band universe for those with the eyes to see

thinking about this in the context of the everpresent vague suicidality evident in matt. its what i have taken to calling The Rivoli Death Drive™️. the apex of sexual fulfilment that can never be attained (due to its inherent destructive nature to the character and narrative) but is constantly driven towards. the desire to run across the train tracks is the desire to play the rivoli is the desire to engage in a sexual relationship with your best friend. and of course none of these are actionable but still you are compelled towards them just as you are latently compelled towards your own death

something ive been thinking about in terms of the wide fandomisation of ntbts is the danger of misrepresenting it & downplaying some of its aspects to people who might see fanworks and think it's something they should get into. & this is definitely something im guilty of too cos i do reblog art and analysis that leans towards the more tender & censored elements of ntb, but we have to remember that on the surface level and the first encounter with the material it is edgy white guy internet humour, a good third of the webseries relies on racism for its jokes, and the vice show & movie are not 'innocent' in comparison. [& the fact that the movie won best original song for a scene that is, putting it lightly, an extremely racist caricature is emblematic of the issue, ie how ingrained the racism is in the art itself and the industry its supported by]. at other levels, ntbts is a really fun work of art that carries a lot of interesting points on art and creativity, and friendship and homosociality, and the experience of having lots of media based interests, an enthusiasm for films and TV and video games that obviously a lot of the fanbase can relate to. but even at its core, the stimulating and sweet and even the intoxicating and intriguingly unhealthy aspects like the codependency and the inherent ways matt and jay hurt and manipulate each other, those all stand side by side with the fact that this is white canadian media property created almost exclusively by men, imbued so deeply with the casual sexism and racism that comes with that. and unfortunately those are also aspects that a lot of the fanbase can relate to, many of us being young white people on the internet who do engage with or at the very least surrounded by that kind of bigoted humour. anyway. my point is that the fandom's choice to regularly either ignore those aspects or even woobify them as just another trait of "our problematic boys" is actually much more malicious than we may realise, considering there is a proportion of the fandom that is NOT white and have very many reasonable complaints and criticisms of both the franchise and the creators, matt johnson being the most outspoken and at the forefront of it. and i genuinely believe there is a merit to this being a topic of conversation as readily discussed and critiqued as any other aspect, like the homoeroticism, like the autism. it's all equally prevalent in the material. i am for sure complicit in everything ive just pointed out, too, but it shouldn't hurt to bring this kind of thing further to the forefront of the analysis that happens online. don't sacrifice important criticisms and critical engagement with something as a whole just so you can get along with enjoying it "in peace."

(via cazyhazemave, themainhall)

rpf is so easy to me like man….i’m just looking

I love the aspect of The Dirties where Matt helps Owen out when it comes to Chrissy. Its so reminescent of NTBTS in the set up. Matt has a plan to help his friend get a thing his friend really wants but Matt has complicated feelings over that succeeding and the plan's convoluted concept is drawn from a pop culture cache rather than operating on normal social logic. But the difference is, the plan literally works. Matt is like hey you should get a cake and pretend you stole it to seem really badass and cool she'll totally think you're awesome. And like, she does lol and so do her friends. And at least it seems like it. The bold move got Owen an in with his crush. And Matt is devastated. Its his nightmare. It's getting the show at the Rivoli and everyone realizing only one of them has any musical talent. Like, no, what was suppose to happen is that we keep hanging out and doing silly plans. You need me because I come up with ideas. You need me because you only have me. You rely on me, you can't abandon me. I thought we both knew that.

i should be working but i love how divided and varied the real person theories are about matt and jay. some people are convinced matt is the gay one in eternal unrequited love for jay who is mutually obsessed with him back but still heterosexual. some people think matt is completely straight and just has a unique thing wrong with him. some people are dead convinced jay is bisexual and the reasons he and matt aren't together vary from "matt is straight" to "he's too passive to make a move and has been waiting 20 years for matt to say something". some people are certain they're both straight and just have a special relationship. and maybe it's all of these things on some level. maybe it's none of them. maybe they're both kinsey 1.5s but are comfortable never acting on it. maybe they fucked once in 2009 and it almost ruined everything so they put it behind them but to this day they still fantasise about being married to each other but are scared of disturbing the status quo. maybe they feel only the inklings of romantic love towards each other and channeled it all into the 3 episodes of the monkey and the bird cartoon they made 5 years ago and now they're completely normal.

matt can't fully face the fact that his most personal and long-lasting artistic project largely resonates with gay people and women because that would require a level of self-reflection and external acknowledgement of something he's been avoiding for decades #realpersonfact

jay won't acknowledge it cos he's a bad person