let's do the timewarp

i think the best thing about gen z is their dedication to self care and by this i mean when john mulaney performed at a college and he took a sip of water the crowd would start applauding and someone yelled at him “hydrate before you die-drate” therefor confusing an already confused man even more

Every fucking week when it’s time to go grocery shopping my wife and I are like “what should we cook this week” and immediately forget every food we have ever enjoyed.

the correct answer now i’m picturing Chris Pine three times widowed wearing his black veil and his fur coat

This is why it’s so important to vote for your local judges after doing a minimal amount of research. Most people just pick whatever judge is there or has a funny name, but this woman is changing the way prisoners are treated and she was voted in by the county. Always do your research before voting for judges, but don’t discount it as unomportant. You may need someone like her on your side one day.

Nicholas J Fury spent one weekend in the 90s hanging out with a cool lesbian and then spent the next twenty years trying and failing to find another superhero with her general degree of competence or emotional maturity

nick fury watching the events of civil war unfold: carol wouldn’t do this to me

I HAVE BEEN WAITING YEARS FOR THIS

IM DYING. I FUCKING LOVE LEE PACE