daydreaming isn’t enough i need it to happen to me in real life

They need to invent financial independence for people who are unemployable and do useless degrees

masturbation is evil not for any puritan anti-fun reason but because it has permanently claimed so many verbs

nobody can crank anything anymore. and god forbid you jerk

I didn’t not kill myself for this

daily affirmations: remember to be violent confrontational and hard to get along with

I’ve always wanted to go to a house party like you see in movies but I never found out about any. Was too busy in the monastery where I was trained to kill

I answer the door covered in blood and bruises and bite marks and I’m like “you should see the other guy” and he’s covered in kisses

Can i be sensitive for 1 second or will i be tackled and killed