analysing toya6 — a spotlight on the lesser developed side of toya
in the event story, we learnt that slade (the side character) is deaf on his right ear due to an accident. toya found out about this when he realised the song he listened to was monoaural (which means the sound is engineered to be as if its only heard on one ear) while picking apart the details. he also started suspecting something when the child who wanted to talk to slade was deciding which ear to talk to.
toya, at that moment thinks to himself "i heard of many musicians who have trouble with their hearing because of how much they use their ears". if you know anything about toya, you'd know just how much details his ears pick up. for toya, (and many other musicians) hearing is his super power. the sheer level of detail toya picks up from a small sample of a song is a testament to that. at the same time, those details are also what allowed him to come to the possibility that slade was deaf.
because of how important hearing is for musicians, he sympathises with slade. he understands and feels that subtle sadness and loss down to his bones because he, as a musician knows that worlds come crashing down when musicians lose their hearing. how can you appreciate the world of sound you love when you can't experience it down to the core of your being?
toya, who is a gentle, empathetic and kind boy, feels both frustrated and sad for slade. at the same time, slade confesses that there were times he could never show off his full abilities, because the people around him were always being considerate of his disability. he knows that they come from good intentions, but he felt stuck, which is why he said "but i don't like it... being considerate to someone you want to fight", "i want to surpass toya and the others with my own strength... otherwise is there really a point?". in other words, there isn't a point in being a musician if people are constantly going easy on him and not allowing him to improve.
his sympathetic, heartfelt view of slade's circumstances WOULD have also made him do the same, guiltily enough. yet, knowing that your opponents intentionally lower themselves just to be considerate, felt horrible. it felt like toya could do nothing except listen and feel, because truly what could he do to "fix" it? he can't. the conflict between toya's drive for improvement and toya's empathetic side showed here. though, toya's desire to help slade as an opponent, and as a friend, even if it seemed presumptuous was to decide to take slade on, with the expectation that slade will show off his full abilities to vbs.
toya's heart swells with excitement on the day of the event. "to compete seriously with such an opponent, is more fun than anything", basking in the heat of the competition, wanting his opponents to “give him their all”. toya, because he knows that they're both serious about music, has this desire to help slade show off his full abilities regardless of whether he is deaf or not.
in the event story, we are also given more light on toya's tendencies to keep pushing himself to his idea of perfection. we see more physical effects of toya striving for even more perfection within perfection, because he "couldn't be satisfied with the standard". this is despite his friends complimenting him in practice, stating that his "condition was great", and he seemed to have "much higher momentum."
the stubbornness that we are shown is in the way toya acts and sees his own performance and abilites. in the first chapter, he states that "it seems like he has been on the grind non stop" and "he neglected resting". however, toya often fails to realise that he's constantly pushing forward and working. it is only when his friends check up on him, or him having physical ailments that eat him up right at the climax of his moment, only then does he realise that he has pushed his body over the limit that it could handle.
even so, toya's stubbornness refuses to let him back down. as seen in blender (toya4), even as toya was losing sleep and having headaches, he was to only rest for "a short bit", almost jumping right back in before meiko was forced to make him rest. it also means that, even as everyone around toya reminds him to not overdo it, toya chooses pushing himself further for that perfection of a performance or goal. it is ironic, because toya is always trying to make sure that akito is taking care of himself, yet toya, fails to take care of himself much too often, due to his stubborn perfectionism.
toya is also stubborn, because he refuses to put down music. as slade mentions, "it is such a blessing to have something you love, ... and to have a place to connect those feelings". for toya, it is having the opportunity to do as he loves, discovering it as he goes. toya is the last person to give up on music even if he is sick or losing sleep every night, or having to rely on everyone around him (incl. family) to take care of him, which he feels a tad bit guilty for, apologising multiple times. him "loving music like an idiot", to the point he would stubbornly refuse to ever part with it.
so even as he caught a fever from fatigue and felt very much unwell, he still insisted to akito that he wanted to perform no matter the stakes. it is also a trait since he was young, as he'd practice the piano so much that he'd get sick like this too. he knows he won't be able to perform as well, yet he still wants to sing, posing the question "would akito let this opportunity slip away?", to which toya said, "i'd definitely regret it"
toya has been looking forward to this one day since the day he came to america, and he'd be absolutely crushed and dejected if his stubborn self was rejected from performing because he was sick. as akito said, "there must be something [toya] isn't willing to give up", even if akito knows toya isn't feeling okay. akito somewhat reluctantly allowed toya to push himself for this one final moment, with the promise that he'll stop toya if it gets too much.
so even though toya felt so unwell, with his head fuzzy and body aching and flaring up, he still felt the joy of performing in the moment, pushing his body above and beyond limits to sing in a voice that no one thought he could make before. it is that stubbornness that allowed toya to transcend his limits and feel all riled up even as his condition was 'crashing'. however, toya struggles to understand the crux of his issue, which is how he STILL fails to care for himself.
(although akito, in the side story, mentioned that toya crashed as soon as they got back to the hotel)
to describe this: in akito6, toya said, "even though i may or may not be pushing myself a little, the fact that i have things that i am able to do, already makes me happy"
EXCEPT, toya doesn't know what is "a little". to him, "a little" means spending just a 'little' more time doing 'little' things to make his music absolutely 1000% perfect. it only quickly spirals into losing multiple days of sleep and failing to take care of his own basic needs. in toya's POV, even if it means staying up till 3am every single day, falling sick, breaking down, he will push himself until it is too late if nobody is watching him. toya will sacrifice his self care. he does it anyway until it breaks his health apart.
i think toya6 was the perfect spotlight on this issue toya has regarding self care and perfectionism. we are starting to see how toya's "just a little more" is affecting hin heavily. i think that it is a perfect jumpgate to developing toya's character more, and seeing how he wants to tackle and handle his perfectionism.
he was clearly so dazed yet kept on pushing himself over the limit..
