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A: I can't be the president because they do background checks on people

B: Why not?

A: Well first of all, my Tiktok

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A: Ok, let's go make pasta.

B: And get drunk.

A: Isn't there a song about that?

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Doing math

A: Two Tan.

B: Oh! Tan-tan.

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A: What's your zodiac sign?

A's teacher: Aries.

A: WHAT?!

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A: This is making me sad.

A's mentor: Sad is good. Sad is part of the whole thing.

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A: Make sure your paint is the consistency of ketchup.

B: Wait, like, Walmart ketchup or Whole Foods ketchup?

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A: I hate this game!

B: You're on level 2000.

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A: Look, I do think you're a good person-- why are you laughing?

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A: I use my third grade math knowledge to divide my edibles among my friends.

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A: *Dancing and lip syncing with earbuds in*

B: Are you listening to Shakira?

A: No. I should though.

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A: Hey, do you want this "Family Rules” sign?

B: What does it say?

A: “Rule One: Always be grateful—“

B: Nope!

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A: Is that their jacket?

B: No, it’s mine.

A: They’re using it as a cat toy.

B: They used it to wipe up juice this morning.

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A, shouting: Hey Mom, what would happen if I—

*crashing sounds in the background*

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A: *playing dress-up with a toddler* Do you want to be a prince or a princess?

B: I want to be a principal!

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A: *turns around in seat, holding a bunch of colorful pens*

Pen bouquet!

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A: I'm a grown adult!

B: You're 15.

A: *whispers* Fuck you!

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A: I cut my nails with scissors for a whole year, once.

B: O_O

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