Lab of Doctor Vilkin Kaalti

☕  - Do you prefer coffee or tea? Perhaps neither, or both? 

☠ - Do you think you’d survive a zombie apocalypse? 

☺ - Post a picture of yourself or describe what you look like! 

⚽ - Are you active? 

⛄ - Do you have a favourite holiday? 

♫ - Do you listen to music when you write? If yes, what kind of music, if no, why not? 

☤ - Have you ever had to go to the emergency room? Why? 

♪ - Do you play any instruments? 

⚖ - Opinions on the fandom your muse blong to? 

♿ - Is there anything about your body you’d like to change if given the chance? 

✂ - Do you hate people easily? 

✼ - Do you think the character/characters you role play as reflect who you are? 

⚄ - Do you play videogames? Have a favourite? 

✵ - Are there any other fandoms you’d like to approach? 

⚜ - If you role play more then one muse, do you have a favourite? 

⛔ - In real life, are you friendly? 

⨁ - Do you hold grudges, or easily let things go? 

♥ - Besides fictional characters, is there someone you love? 

♾ - Which timezone are you in? 

W - What do you do for a living?

♡ - OTP for your muse? 

⚔ - NOTP with your muse? 

☰ - Fun random fact about the mun! 

don’t let your knowledge of someone else’s character, influence your muse’s first impression.

i feel like this has been stated time & time again, but it is a recurrent theme on my dash. most significantly, it always involves villainous muses, with the first impression always being something about a strange feeling or an inkling that they aren’t a great person

here’s the rundown:

you are more than welcome to acknowledge, OOC, that a character is a villain, or a not-so-great person. you can discuss it, openly talk about it, the whole shebang.

unless the villain muse is OPENLY villainous, has significant signs that point to it in rp, don’t make your muse suddenly get a sixth sense about them

unless the villain muse has DONE something warranting it, they are still a neutral party. your muse, unless they can read minds or magically can tell villain from hero, isn’t capable of pinpointing such a specific thing about them. don’t ostracize someone else’s character just because you want your muse to play hero.

…don’t forget that some of the flags of an abusive roleplayer are identical to the ones for abusive RL relationships.

The Idolize > Isolate > Devalue > Discard cycle that we see in a lot of abusive RL relationships is actually creepily common online and devastating to the victim, despite the lack of physical damage in most cases (I say “most” because I have seen people driven to self-harm or suicide attempts by online abuse of this type).

Idolize: the abuser is desperate to roleplay with the target. They lavish them with attention, gifts, plots, writing, and/or art. The abuser will do anything to become the target’s new best friend.  Some abusers will become irrationally angry if rejected at this stage and transition into stalking and/or harassment.

Isolate: the abuser begins peeling the target away from any existing friends or RP partners. They’ll attempt to occupy all their online time and suggest they do a lot of one-on-one roleplay in private with them. When in multi-person scenes, they will deliberately alienate the target’s other friends either by acting out, attacking them, or intentionally making RP awkward or impossible for everyone but their target. Gaslighting starts. They may complain the target’s friends are “mean” or “jealous” and attempt to instigate arguments where the target will feel the need to defend them and further alienate their friends. Lavishing with gifts continues in this phase.

Devalue: when their target is cut off from everyone else, the honeymoon ends. Gaslighting ramps up massively. They still want to roleplay with the target, but the target suddenly can’t seem to do anything right.  The target’s self-esteem is systematically degraded. Plots revolve increasingly around the abuser’s character with the target’s being an expendable, breakable prop. They attempt to push their target into roleplay they don’t enjoy or are actively afraid of, and respond to objections or refusals with manipulative behavior like crying, insults, or threatening abandonment.  In extreme cases, the abuser may feign self-harm or suicidal impulses and present them to the target as the target’s fault, i.e. “LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO.”  Gifts only come as “makeup” presents after a fight and are generally presented in public so that all seems well to anyone not involved. They are now the target’s only major roleplay partner and use that as a weapon. 

Discard: the abuser finds a new idol. Gaslighting hits maximum, convincing the target that they’re the reason the abuser doesn’t want to play with them anymore and that no one will ever want to play with them. Finally, they drop their current target and ignore them or harass them, often resorting to scorched-earth tactics and spreading rumors to make sure their victim has difficulty reconnecting with others. The target and their character are usually badly damaged, possibly irreparably.

Abusive roleplayers like this usually leave a trail of shattered guilds and broken people behind and often move games or servers when chasing a new target. Due to their habit of giving gifts in public and abusing in private, they may even have a good reputation in the community and staunch defenders (especially if they’re well-known for their writing, art, or crafts). 

In other words, good fucking luck catching them before they hurt someone.

Since this kind of abuse is hard to see from the inside until it’s already too late, the biggest thing you can do is watch out for your friends and guildies.  We’re all weirdos here, and we need to keep each other safe.  If you feel like somebody’s new RP partner is trying to separate them from their support system, don’t be afraid to speak up.  I don’t care if they write like the next Hemingway or their art appears to have been shat right out of Da Vinci’s asshole, they don’t get a pass.