“what that mouth do” speak falsehoods mostly, but lately i’ve also been really getting into blaspheming before god,

the power of christ compels YOU. im ok though

So the subtitles are great, but they have nothing on the accents and delivery like something out of a 1930s noir detective film

What are they

dirty

Bad at drinking milk

none pizza with left beef

It should be a rule of Tumblr to always reblog none pizza with left beef

ive missed you

Do you think Jesus ever got many carpenter requests after he started preaching? Like did anyone ever go up to him and be like; "My Lord! My Lord!" And the disciples are all: "The Master won't do anymore miracles today." But obviously Jesus is like; "Yes, my child?" And they just ask what his basic rate is to fix their door.

No one talks enough about the fact that Jesus had a day job.

He repaired the relationship between humanity and god, he also repaired the table in his friend Mary's house cuz it wobbled too much.

“honey that guy who made our table got crucified” 

Jesus was swole as fuck