lily

You were done. You huff quietly, scanning jinx's room before turning on your heel. If she wanted to ignore you, then you decided to give her nothing to ignore.

The next morning, Jinx was quick to bounce back to work, but she halted for a moment when she noticed her tools, her work, was exactly where she left it.

odd.

She shook it off as just a mistake, assuming you were elsewhere for a while. The day ticked by and she assumed you'd stop by to help her out per usual, but when you were still no where to be seen, her brows furrowed.

She pushed back from her desk, chair rolling a bit as she stood. She spared one last glance at her space, similar to the way you did the night before, before flicking her lights off and leaving, with a slight emptiness in her heart.

She returns the next day, hoping maybe it was just a one time thing, but when she sees nothing has changed again, she huffs. She didn't quite realize how much she took your simple gestures for granted until now. She chews on her lip, bouncing slightly on her toes as she weighs her options. She could continue to work, and pay no mind to it.... no she couldn't do that... she feels too guilty. So opts for the latter option, which is to go find you, and... apologize.

She searches for you for a good while, in every nook and cranny she can, until she finds you hunched over your work bench, nose buried in a journal. You look stressed, sad even, and her heart shatters just a bit.

She bounces forwards, masking her sudden wave of empathy with a coy smile. It flickers however when you don't look up from your journal, partially because you are mid thought, partially because lately that is the same treatment she has given you. She clears her throat, and your tired eyes glance up at her, your gazes creating a spark in the air.

She pauses for a moment, measuring her next words carefully. "Im sorry" she spits, almost shamefully. You pause, quirking a brow at her sudden confession.

"Pardon?" You reply, a bit surprised at how quickly she caved.

"I- look toots, I took what we have- what... what you are to me for granted. For... a long time. A-and I just wanted to let you know that though I may suck at showing it, I- I am grateful for you." She spills, words tumbling out clumsily. Your lips curve up into a gentle smile, your heart swelling at her sincerity.

"I'll forgive you... on one condition" You say softly, voice laced with something more teasing. She cocks her head to the side, like a puppy waiting for a command. "You take me out, somewhere, just us" You say slyly, a smirk reaching your tired eyes as you gaze up at her from your seat.

she wasn't supposed to be stopping by the bar tonight, it was supposed to be an easy in and out mission with some enforcers.

which don't get me wrong, the mission was easy... but she just wanted a drink

she stops by expecting to see the same familiar face behind the bar, and order the same old drink she always orders

so she is taken aback when she sees... a girl?

a very pretty girl!!!

when i tell you she is literally swooning.

like jaw slightly agape and heart eyes.

she kind of just stands lifeless for a moment in the doorway, her eyes scanning your figure as you wipe down some cups casually.

its close to closing, so you notice her rather quickly, your gaze neutral as you look her up and down.

she practically explodes.

theres few people at the bar, just some randos playing pool and some loner snorting who knows what, but she doesnt care about them, she cares about you.

she makes her way to the bar, still at a loss for words, and you quirk a brow.

"Is there something i can help you with sunshine?" you question, laced with a drop of sarcasm mixed with genuine curiosity for her bewildered behavior.

she is at a loss for words, fumbling to make her order

you chuckle at her clumsy speech, and jinx just melts.

your laugh!!!!!!

omg she wants to hear it a thousand times again

and she probably will in her head

but she doesnt tell you that, not yet.

You make her drink with ease, sliding across the bar to her, where she managed to stumble into a seat.

You rest your elbows on the bar, locking eyes with her

"What brings you here so late?" You ask, and she fumbles to find a reasonable answer.

You laugh again and she cant hold back

"say toots, are ya doin anything after this?" she asks almost teasingly

Youre taken aback for a moment, eyes widening at her bluntness.

"I- um... no I'm not... i close up in 5" You reply

"Welp, you're doing something now!" She exclaims, jumping up from her seat and rushing towards the door, halting in the doorway as she turns to face you.

she meets your gaze once again and you

you were riding your bike to the sound of “it’s no big deal”, and you’re trying to lift off the ground on those old two wheels.

“c’mon, c’mon” you whisper, biting the inside of your cheek as you struggle to reposition the rusty chain back into its proper place. a frustrated sigh escapes your lips as you wipe at your eyes, fighting the tears that desperately long to escape. With a bit more struggle the chain slips into place with a solid clink, and you huff, blinking a few times before swinging your leg over the seat as you get ready to leave.

The sun is low on the horizon, and you know mama would have a fit if she was sober enough to notice your absence. You couldn’t stay any longer, not tonight. When mama got drunk, she got angry, and aggressive, and heartless. You used to wish for one normal night, just one, but looking back you knew all along efforts were futile. Ever since dad left, mama had given up. It was like her light went out, and from that point on it was up to you to keep the house afloat.

You were 10.

You sigh, peddling your feet at fast as possible. You needed to get away. You loved your mom, but maybe this wasn’t the way a child should be treated. Verbally and physically beaten by your mother. You didn’t think much of it at the time though, as this treatment had been on and off throughout all of your childhood. You learned to keep quiet, and came to the conclusion that it was probably like this for everyone else too… right? You shake the thought from your head as you pant, peddling to who knows where as you bite back a sob.

Mama didn’t mean it.

She’s just having a hard time.

You’re so ungrateful for leaving her behind.

She needs you.

You’re just overreacting.

———————

You blink, the noise of the bar ringing in your ears. Your thoughts having been interrupted by the bartender, asking if you’d like anything to drink.

You softly shake your head, before turning to glance at your colleagues, Lois and Jimmy drunkenly chatting, their conversation occasionally interrupted by fits of laughter.

You crack a smile at their shenanigans, but it doesn’t last. A larger figure bumps into you, spilling an unidentified alcoholic substance all over yourself. The person slurs and apology, but stumbles away quickly, leaving you drenched.

You bite the inside of your cheek, a childhood habit of yours, and quickly squeeze your way through the crowd to the nearest exit. As you open the door, the cool night breeze hits your face, and your damp shirt, bringing a chill down your spine. You sigh, eyes closed as you rub your temples. You take a few steps, eyes cast downwards, aiming to take a seat on the curb. However, before you’re able to do so, you run into a wall.

Wait.

Walls aren’t warm.

Walls don’t talk.

Well Shit.

You’re a bit relieved however when you glance upward, locking eyes with the one and only Clark Kent. Your Daily Planet Colleague and also your top secret boyfriend. He's dressed nicely tonight, a leather bomber jacket over a plain white t-shirt which does little to hide his amazing figure.

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. Allowing yourself to relax a bit. Clark notes your tense demeanor, which he then connects to the stain covering the front half of your shirt. He frowns, taking a step closer towards you, brushing a strand of hair from your face.

"What are you doing out here?" You ask him softly, noting his absence in the bar for the majority of the night.

"It's too loud in there, don't ya think? And...I cant get drunk so I don't really see a point of me surrounding myself with alcohol and intoxicated people." You chuckle softly at that. "I was going to ask you the same thing, but by the looks of your shirt I think i might know why" he says softly, as he begins to remove his jacket, draping it over your shoulders as you lean into him. You two stay like that for a moment, embraced in a comfortable silence. Theres a quiet beat from the music in the bar, but you don't seem to pay any mind to it... that is until the door to the bar flies open, a couple drunkenly fighting with one another, angry and slurred words being thrown out like bullets. You flinch, leaning into clark absentmindedly. You two watch as the couple stumbles away, and you frown.

Nothing bout the way that you were treated ever seemed especially alarming till now, so you tie up your hair and you smile like its no big deal.

“it’s times like these i’m grateful i don’t drink” You say softly, earning a small chuckle from clark. " You know, my mama used to get drunk like that" You say casually, eyes still following the couple as they round the corner. Clarks gaze shifts to you, his brows furrowing with concern.

“what?” He questions softly.

You turn your head, a bit alarmed by the concern in his tone. “yeah, when dad left she drank her worries away. She got real mean too, had the cops called on her a few times, but you know that’s how it is.” You say with a shrug, distant memories foggy in your mind. Clark sits in silence for a moment, his arm still around you.

He is a bit shaken by the casualty of your statement. His heart shattering a bit with your words.

“Doll…” he whispers softly, hurt in his voice.

You pause, “what?” you question in response.

Clark sighs, debating his next words carefully. “you know… that’s not… that’s not just how it is sweetheart… that’s not normal.”

You pause for a moment before shrugging, the wind picking up slightly, a chill running down your spine. Your hair blows into your face, and you pull it with the hairtie on your wrist. “I’m probably just overreacting” you murmur softly with a gentle smile, quickly making the choice to change the subject. You continue to speak, but Clark doesn’t forget. He’s plagued by the thought all night but he doesn’t let you see that of course.

For now, for you, he makes it no big deal.

Matilda you talk of the pain like it’s all alright, but i know that you feel like a piece of you is dead inside

Tis the season is what they all say.

Well holy fuck they’re wrong.

For most, it’s a season of joy and celebration and time with family. You’ve never had that. You normally brush it off, joking that gifting to yourself is actually better than having to shop for others. But in reality it’s lonely, so very lonely. The winter holidays were always mamas favourite, but she never did celebrate them with you much. The month of December was always full of slurred words and flying hands. You can’t remember a time where December had ever been happy for you. Which leads to your current state, sobbing softly in your bed, curtains drawn, engulfed in darkness. You aren’t sure what sparked the wave of emotions, but whatever it was more like a tsunami than a wave. Nobody had heard from you in days, not even your loving boyfriend Clark. You didn’t mean to ignore them, truly, but sometimes it’s easier to fall alone than to let others fall with you.

Or so you thought.

Your quiet sobs were interrupted by the distant jingle of keys. Clark. You’d given him your spare a couple of months back. You cry a bit harder at the thought of your sweet boyfriend going out of his way to check on you, and also cry a bit harder at the fact that he’s going to see you in such a frazzled state. You lay still, hearing his footsteps approach your bedroom, where you sensed his presence linger in the doorway for a moment, before searing himself on the bed near you, hands coming up to take through your tangled hair. You hiccup softly, leaning into his warmth. He doesn’t speak, an unspoken agreement amongst you two as he calms you down. He continues to help you out of bed, making you some buttered noodles (due to his limited options in your pantry), talking quietly to you, never once asking for a response, but you note how he perks up slightly whenever you mumble a reply or slip him a smile.

He takes you to the shower next, turning on the water before gently undressing you, not once trying to take advantage of your vulnerable position. His large hands are warm against your skin, and he notes your comfort in his touch. He then removes his own clothes, checking the water temperature before guiding you into the shower alongside him. You two stay there until the water runs cold, where he then gently drys the two of you off, dressing you in one of his oversized hoodies (which he knows you love). He spends the whole night taking care of you, gently coming your hair, brushing your teeth, and joining you in bed. You lay in his arms for a while, your favourite tv show playing softly in the background. Soon you begin to drift, but not before you feel a kiss against your temple, and a soft whisper in your ear. “I know you feel weak right now, like you’re alone, but sweetheart you just might be the strongest person i know… Sleep well, I love you to the moon”

A sleepy smile forms on your face, as you murmur a response before drifting off.

“Love you most Clark”

You showed me a power that is strong enough to bring sun to the darkest days

Your tiny apartment rattled with the booming of thunder, and you curl closer into Clark with instinct. Clark wraps his arms tighter around you, the two of you comfortably intertwined watching tv. You two chatted softly, the conversation seemingly never ending. You love to listen to clark, you could hear him talk all day and never once get bored. A cheesy grin makes its way onto your face as Clark rambles on about his latest mission as superman.

“And then, i swept in, the building was-“ You cut him off swiftly, almost unintentionally, with a kiss. Clark freezes for a brief moment before melting into the feeling. The kiss is gentle, and by the time the two of you pull away you’re both smiling. “Did you just kiss me to shut me up?” He questions teasingly, peppering a few more kisses around your face, admiring the way your nose scrunches at the contact.

“My intention wasn’t to shut you up, but if it means i get to kiss you more maybe it was for the best” You tease in return, awaiting Clark’s witty remark. However instead of words, you’re met with hands climbing your sides, not gentle though, tickling. You burst into a fit of laughter as Clark pins you to the couch, his warm and calloused hands showing no mercy as you fight to breathe through your fit of laughter. Clark halts for a moment at the sound of your laugh, his expression melting into one less devious and more admiring.

“I love it when you laugh, it lights up the whole room” He says softly, now hovering overtop of you, hand pinned beside your head. You shy away from his gaze (to the best of your ability considering you’re trapped beneath him). Clark takes this as an opportunity to press gentle kisses to your face, before slowly working his way to your neck. Your breath catches, and Clark stops for a moment. “Is this ok?” He says softly, voice lower now, quieter.

You nod, mouth slightly agape as you let another giddy giggle escape your lips. Clark speaks proudly before continuing

“That’s my sunshine”

You can let it go, you can throw a party full of everyone you know, and not invite your family cause they never showed you love, you don’t have to be sorry for leaving and growing up

You shrug your coat off your shoulders, a small smile on your face as you lean down to unlace your shoes. Today is your birthday, and you have been looking forward to coming home to Clark all day, who took the day off at the Daily planet for “unknown reasons”. You chose not to question it, instead pushing through the day (without clark) with a smile.

Nobody said happy birthday, and while yes, it stung a bit, you didn’t mind all that much.

You place your shoes beside clark’s, stepping towards your living room. You flip the light on, and before you can think, you’re met with exclamation a from your friends, so many of your friends, and clark, your perfect boyfriend. You freeze as confetti flys above you, a cake sitting on center table and balloons scattered throughout the room. Your jaw drops, eyes wide as you process all the information infront of you.

A party. For you. They didn’t forget.

You heart swells at the sight. And you fail to notice nor care about the few tears that slip from your eyes. This was your first real birthday celebration since your early childhood, earlier than you could even remember. You’re quick to embrace all your friends, wiping stray tears as you thank them all for coming, for doing this for you of all people. You finish your line of embraces with none other than clark. He has that damn smirk on his face, the smirk you love so much.

“You did all this for me?” You question softly, eyes still teary

“Sunshine, I would hang the stars if you asked me to, this is the least I could do for you on your birthday.” He says softly, taking your hands into his own. You grin, a few more tears slipping from your eyes.

“Thank you Clark” You say softly, voice full of gratitude.

“No baby, thank you” He responds, before dragging you towards your cake.

Maybe your birthday wasn’t so bad after-all.

You don’t have to go, you don’t have to go home, oh there’s a long way to go, i don’t believe that time, will change your mind. In other words i know they won’t hurt you anymore as long as you can let them go.

You’re shopping with clark, in the middle of the cereal aisle when your phone rings. You grab the phone from your pocket and answer it without a second thought, not taking the time to check the number. Clark looks back at you, nodding softly as he continues down the aisle, letting you take the call.

“Hello?” You speak into the phone, expecting some call about your cars extended warranty or something.

“Heyyy sweetheart” the voice on the other line speaks, words slurred, and you freeze.

It’s your mother.

You don’t reply for a moment, eyes wide.

“H-hi mom” You respond shakily, the pit in your stomach growing by the second. Your mother begins to speak again, but you can’t hear her, your mind tuning her out. Clark has turned around now, noticing your worried expression almost instantly and making his way back towards you. As he approaches he quirks a brow, and you tune back in to your mother for a moment,

“Are you there hun~” She slurs, almost incoherent.

“Yeah i- i’m here mom” You respond, eyes still locked onto clark’s.

Clark’s brows furrow, rage filling his body. How dare she call you? After all this time? And for what? He bites his lip, fighting the urge to take the phone from you and hang up.

“I just wanted to tell- tell you happy birthday, y-you’re welcome for bringing you i-into this world, i just… wanted to tell you t-that you’d be nothing without me” She stumbles out, and you involuntarily scoff at her audacity. You huff, preparing a response.

“First, my birthday was a week ago, if you actually cared maybe you’d remember that. Second, don’t you dare call me, and try to give me reasons to be thankful for you. You- You did jackshit for me mom. I payed the bills, I shopped for groceries, I kept us afloat. You sat around on your ass all day getting drunk off of cheap liquor, which by the way you’re sounding right now, you’re still doing. So dont think you’re entitled to any appreciation for me, because I am everything without you mom. I am thriving and happy and everything you wish you were. I don’t know how you got this number, but don’t ever call me again. Goodbye.” You spit, before aggressively pressing the end call button.

Your little outburst earned the stares of a few shoppers, but you could care less. You bring your gaze to Clark again, and he looks hurt yes, but more proud than anything. He pulls you into his arms, his warmth embracing you for a moment, before he pulls back just enough to speak.

“I’m so proud of you, that takes a lot of courage, you know that right?” He asks softly, and you nod, letting out a chuckle

“I don’t know what came over me, but I think i’m glad it did” You respond.

He grins, placing a kiss to your temple “She can’t hurt you anymore sweetheart” He murmurs.

You two stay like that for a moment, in the middle of the grocery aisle, a brief moment being so monumental to the two of you. You’re soon interrupted though.

“Excuse me, can you pass me a box of cappn crunch?”

Clearly not monumental for everyone.

You can let it go, you can throw a party full of everyone you know, you can start a family who will always show you love.

You stare at the several tests that lay on your bathroom counter, body trembling with anxiety.

Positive.

You’re paralysed with fear. What will Clark think? What if he’s upset? What if he leaves? What if-

You stop yourself before you can spiral any further, taking a deep breath. Clark knew you were taking these tests, so he can’t be totally unprepared to hear that it’s positive… right? You inhale deeply, reaching shakily for the door as you crack it open. Clark is seated down the hall in the living room, elbows resting on his knees. He perks up as the door creaks, hearing your soft footsteps pad down the hallway. He tries to read your face, but to no avail.

“Clark…” You whisper, voice trembling slightly. Clark stands immediately, walking to you quickly as he takes your hands into his own.

“Hey, hey, look at me sweetheart” He orders softly “I promise you no matter what happens i’m right here, ok?” He squeezes your hands, and you shutter in a breath, squeezing your eyes shut as you speak.

“Im pregnant” You spill quickly, fearing clark’s response as you tense up. Clark gasps softly, and you think that maybe this is the end, and he’s going to leave now, tell you no child of yours is worth his time. But instead, to your surprise, you feel yourself being lifted of the ground and spun around excitedly.

“Golly, I’m gonna be a dad” Clark exclaims with excitement. You huff out a chuckle, the nerves exiting your body as clark places you on the ground gently, capturing your lips with his own.

He pulls away panting, the biggest smile you’ve ever seen on his face.

“You’re gonna be a mom… I- we’re starting a family- oh gosh i’m so proud of you baby” He rambles, and for a brief moment you tune him out, and you realise after all these years that you’re free.

You’re breaking the very walls in which your family put you within.

You’re going to love this child with every fibre of your being, and you’re not going to apologise to anyone.

You don’t have to be sorry, no.

—

Authors note

Hi guys if you read this thank you so much you guys are amazing. ALSO please send requests i want to write but i need inspo please 💔 i dont bite.