Asp Explorer

he was such a larger than life guy, something that i tried really hard to capture in what i've shared over the years. he really was something else, unlike any rabbit i've seen.

most traces of him have been removed from my parents' house, so much of what i have to remind me of him is what is left.

my mo shrine and locket with his fur that i made a couple years before he passed. it's been odd realizing that i've been the one most aware of the fact of how limited and precious the time we had with him was.

my mochi altar looking over our doorway. i had planned for this to be a more public shrine for him before he passed, since when he was a baby he lived in my parents' mudroom, watching over the shoes and where everyone came and went. it felt nice for him to watch our door. i have his paw prints, the blanket i made him and he passed on, his wife peanut, and his walkman with his favorite cassette stopped forever after he passed.

in the frames are his first and last photos, and an art piece a friend(minky taro) made of him. i sometimes give him an offering of parsley since it was his favorite.

finally, last month i got this tattoo of him cuddling a rabbit representing me under frith, the sun god from watership down. it's a tattoo i've been planning for multiple years now, and it's on a part of my arm he loved cuddling with.

i know this is a lot for a pet, but he was a very bright light in my life, who always looked up to me and believed in me. the joy on his face when he'd see me, how happy he was when he recognized me for the first time after my starting estrogen, everything.

i helped raise a bright little bun who approached everyone with kindness, who would never hesitate to make his opinions known, or make a joke, who would love nothing more than to curl up with me in a sunbeam listening to chappel roan, munch on a food he never had before, and shower me with love and affection for how strong i was to handle all the human bullshit.

and in my darkest moments the knowledge that something so pure and sweet existed because of me, and adored me because of it, kept me going.