your 20s is all about the fog, actually
hello vonnie

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@oofthisstillexists
your 20s is all about the fog, actually

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i just saw the moon guys life is worth living again
no context november. figure it out.
the bravery of a girl who has to decide what is for dinner and then cook it and then wash dishes every day forever and ever.
That's called being an adult
no it’s called being the bravest girl on planet earth
Evansville Press, Indiana, January 14, 1909

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what do you like about girls?
their evil ways
me: i’m gonna go to bed early tonight
me at 4am on the cryptids wikipedia page:
BEYOND obsessed with this house in fort worth, texas i mean
okay pretty normal, let’s look at the interior photos—
WHAT THE FUCK
here we see the first example of a pattern that will recur throughout the house, which is that once your eyes adjust to the bonkers dictator chic marble-and-gilded-everything, you notice some pretty egregiously shoddy workmanship. look at how that baseboard intersects with the outlet. look at how the marble… uh, thing on the wall (i was gonna call it a fireplace but it’s not a fireplace, i have no idea what that is) has gaps and weird angles wherever two pieces meet. it’s like they’re trying to recreate versailles on an ikea budget
i… don’t hate the kitchen. i mean, obviously it’s ugly and #toomuch and there was zero effort made to match the very modern appliances and sink to the cabinets, but still, i’m a sucker for a pass-through and a big sink with a window above it.
this ceiling Fucks but the wrinkly, uneven curtains and terrible caulking around the faux-column in the middle anti-Fuck
why did we suddenly completely switch aesthetics. why is there an old TV set into the wall at floor level. why is there a tiny set of doors next to it. why does the fireplace look like an asset ripped from the original dark souls. i feel a sinister presence sucking at my soul the longer i look at this photo
i feel like whoever designed this monstrosity started with the dining room and then once they’d finished it realized they’d blown half their budget on just this one room. it’s so overdecorated that the gaudiness feels intentional, like it’s a statement rather than a side effect of genuine tastelessness. i can applaud that.
here we have the antithesis of the dining room. i don’t know what this room is supposed to be but i hate it. i’m pretty sure everything in this photo literally came from ikea. there is a lack of commitment here and it is rancid
ladies, gentlemen, distinguished colleagues, we have now hit the cornerstone of any great tacky real estate listing: the heart-shaped bathtub! this one gets bonus points for being next to a gilded mirror and surrounded by bright red damask wallpaper. as a bathtub i’d give it a 1/10 because those angles look incredibly uncomfortable, but as a place to shoot my lover through the heart while wearing a gauzy fur-trimmed bathrobe before fleeing with our ill-gotten fortune i’d give it a solid 11/10
here we are with the lack of commitment again. this literally looks like the kitchen in my college dorm but with a weird fringey lamp and some curtains that are absolutely too long for their windows
again, the mix of styles here is just killing me. half damask wallpaper and carved wall panels, half normal-ass bathroom? really? isn’t there anything truly unhinged left in this house? anything truly opulent, decadent, off the chain, extravagant, gaudy—
THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT BAY BEE!!! THAT’S MORE THE FUCK LIKE IT!!! COMMIT! TO! THE! BIT! GO BIG OR GO HOME! IF YOU’RE GONNA STICK A CEILING DOME IN THE FOYER OF YOUR SUBURBAN TEXAS HOUSE IT HAD BETTER BE TWELVE FEET IN DIAMETER AND PAINTED WITH DOZENS OF FLOWERS OR ELSE WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE EVEN DOING HERE??
and finally, to close out the show, a reminder that this entire acid trip of a real estate listing took place in an ordinary, modern single-story house in texas, one with a backyard and utility boxes on the exterior walls and neighbors who may be blissfully unaware that they live mere feet from a yawning pit of madness.
i love tacky real estate listings.
they should release a new natural hair color
why do i always fall for the bad boys *thinking about Lord Farquaad*

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Me: *takes a second too long doing a task*
Dummies: SHE FAKING A TASK!!! VOTE HER OUT!!
sometimes I randomly remember that Mr Ratburn from Arthur is gay married to a chocolatier and a sense of calmness and prosperity washes over me like a wave
May you NEVER be in a position to not afford your rent!
Sending good vibes to everyone with rent, utilities and more bills than bills! Better days are ahead.
Manifesting this tomorrow
EDIT Nov 7:
Small Batch Almond Chocolate Chip Cookies (GF + Egg Free)

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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i do have a writing style and it is called “i am gay, have access to a keyboard and the internet, and i intend to make that everyone else’s problem”
fuck therapy i’m becoming a knight
Pearl ghostwrote this
mr krab daughter??
no the rock
dwayne????