definitely dazed, completely confused.

Had a list to do all of the things today. Now I kinda just wanna stay in my room and avoid everyone. I know its a really stupid and ineffective coping tool but I also don't feel like having to explain to strangers why I'm crying in public. I miss you so much and realize how grateful I am to have shared those 15 years together. I hope I'm making you proud of the woman I am today which you helped shape me into. Doesn't make this day easier, just a combination of our past together both good and bad, along with the bittersweet sting of the things you won't be physically by my side for. I love you with all my heart, and forever.

Eight years and this is still a consistent, and severely triggering weekend. No idea why but it sucks.