icey's ramblings

You're holding an actual child to higher standards than you hold yourself, but it's the child that should be removed from public and community spaces. For your comfort.

He's also been an inspiration to me as a father. He used to carry his kids' pictures on the red carpet. He's included them in so much of his life and work, especially now that they're adults. His son Jack was the voice of Val for large portions of his documentary film that came out a few years ago. And then there's this from Val's memoir - "Every month nowadays it feels like my life is completely new. Feels good. Except if I had my way my two grown children would live downstairs and I would sleep in my living room. I miss them every hour, even though I live so close to my daughter I can practically yell her name and she could hear me. I have to give them their space, but I don't want to. I want to smother them and not care that I might ruin their lives. They are my greatest joy, my proudest achievement, even though it is painfully clear I have just about zero to do with their character."

In his final newsletter, from March 20, he said, "I'm the luckiest guy in the world." I think he really was.

anyway i wanted a memento of my first pride, you know, and this one vendor was selling keyrings, and i liked it, so i bought one. do you remember those italian charm bracelets that were all the rage like 10-15 years ago? it was a keychain like that, and it had a rainbow rooster, a rainbow cat, and then just a rainbow, and so I bought it.

i run into my mom a couple of vendors over and she goes oh you bought something? what’d you get? so i showed her, and i was like, “I’m not sure why it’s a rooster and a cat. Seems kind of random. But I liked the rainbows.”

and my mom, who was some form of minister’s wife for most of my childhood and teenagerhood, stares at me like she thinks i’m joking.

“What?” i say.

…relic…

Since 2017, I have only done stuff that I thought was interesting or useful regardless of whether it pays, because we have more than enough money, and despite what billionaires might tell you, there is literally no difference between "more than enough" and "much more than enough."

So I no longer work for money. But in retirement one must keep busy, which is why I have taken on an unpaid gig as the social media intern for a coffee and tea business that donates 100% of its profit to charity.

normalize fans being reminded that boundaries between fandom and creators exist for a reason.

normalize fans recognizing their own creative potential without seeking canon validation

normalize the idea that fandom is a hobby, not an identity to threaten and fight and harass people over

normalize a healthy understanding of the boundaries between fiction and reality

The proper response of the creative person shouldn't be "please respect my story/vision" it should be "please respect me and my position as the paid professional in this relationship."

New fans don't know this - and I entirely blame the immediacy of communication of socmedia - but creators of media tended to keep the fans at arm's length because of a very real legal risk that listening to the headcanons, etc could result in.

imagine being banned from social media for saying what bro did to the manager