lil rice ball - is on hiatus

pairing: kim seokjin x female reader

words: 893

genre: angst

summary: in which your relationship with jin is falling to pieces.

a/n: oof i enjoyed writing this, i feel like my writing in this got better?? i hope i continue doing great uwu. also this was requested and it said to have a happy ending soooo

masterlist

(gif not mine)

You lie down, yet again, in a cold, dark and lonely room. You should get used to this by now but you couldn’t just sleep in peace, even though you know Jin won’t be home for another hour or two. Hours have passed since the said time he was apparently arriving at your abode.

It was bound to happen. You should have seen it coming. After being together for three years, things have changed and you would be lying if you said you didn’t see it beforehand. Maybe it started with the less amount of time you spent together, as you were both busy with your schedules. Maybe with the way your bodies barely graze with each other’s when you’re both lying in bed. Maybe with how he always leaves the room whenever you entered, wanting to avoid your presence. Whatever the reason was, it was eating you alive and you couldn’t take it anymore.

You decided to talk to Jin about this, once he arrives home. In the meantime, you thought of the correct words to say. Do you just casually ask him what changed between the two of you or do you sugarcoat it.

When was the last time he gave you his hugs that you absolutely adored? The last time he would pamper you with kisses because he knows you love them? The last time he held you in his sleep, once was afraid to let you go but now it seems he didn’t even care if you fell off the bed. When was the last time you even slept together? When was the last time he told you he loved you?

You eyes brimmed with tears as thoughts consumed your mind. How come your relationship got so bad that it reached this peak.

The creak of the door pulled you away from your trance, a dark silhouette making its way into your bedroom. Jin must’ve not noticed that you were still awake because he went straight to the bathroom to do his night routine. You let out a deep breath, preparing yourself for once he comes out the bathroom.

“Jin, can we talk?” You let out, the second he dipped down the bed. The sound of your sudden voice made him flinch but immediately calmed down.

“Why are you still awake?” Jin questioned, lying in bed.

“I—uh, was thinking of something.” You started, staring at his beautifully constructed face that you love so much. He let out a hum in response. “What happened to us?”

“What do you mean?” Jin feigned confusion as if he didn’t understand a word you just said.

“Jin, stop, we both know something’s changing and I just can’t lay here knowing that I’m laying next to a man who claims he loves me, barely speak to me anymore.” You felt tears threatening to spill out your eyes but you prevent them from doing so. “Do you know how much that haunts my head? I can’t just keep laying here pretending that nothing’s wrong when in fact, everything is wrong. I can’t stand it anymore.”

This time you didn’t hold back your tears. You let them stream down your face because you tried keeping everything in, keeping everything to yourself for so long and you have reached your breaking point.

“Y/N…” Jin said, trying to reach out for your body, and you let him. He engulfed you in his arms, and you clutched onto him tightly. Being in his arms again felt like home, but you were scared this was all just a facade. “I’m sorry.” He whispered against your head, stroking your back softly and lovingly. “I’m so sorry our relationship is falling apart.”

That one sentence was enough to have you in tears, as if you weren’t already. This was truly the end for the two of you. Three years spent together was going down the drain.

“C-can’t we try?” You said through your tears. You were an independent woman, Jin knew that before he even started dating you, but being with him, being with his presence, your guard just came crumbling down and now it’s almost like your life depended on Jin and you hated it. You didn’t want to come off as desperate but love truly makes you do things you never imagined doing.

“Y/N, I don’t want to keep hurting you. You know I never intend on hurting you and your feelings. I’m sorry if I haven’t been the most affectionate lately, you deserve all the love in the world for you are such a kindhearted woman.” Jin spoke, eyeing you carefully. He brought his hands up, cupping your face gently. The pad of his thumb wiping away your tears. “Although, I’m afraid I can’t let you go.” He added, making you lift your head and face him. “Let’s try fixing things, I want to fix everything. I can’t leave you, I don’t have the heart to do that. I love you too much to let you go.” Jin leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on your forehead. “I know love doesn’t always solve everything but I really want to be with you, if you would let me. I promise things will be better, okay? Baby steps.“

"Okay…” You mumbled, somehow calming down.

Pairing: Jung hoseok!idol x black reader!bisexual army

Warnings: strong language, Crackhead energy, sexual language, dirty talk, flirting

Crack,Fluff,Humor, no smut Bc Idk how to write smut.

Y/N POV

“Bruh I’m so excited for this concert!!! I get to see Namjoon up close, ughhh the things I would do to him I had the chanc-”

“Girl shush, people are looking, besides, I think it would be the other way around if he saw you.. you are one fine ass woman, fuck that, you’re way more than that. Banging ass body, beautiful ass smile, amazing ass personality, pretty eyes, period.”

“Girl you speak to me like that again, I might just sit on your face.” Your best friend said.“Do it, I will enjoy it” I said.“Girl- Don’t play me like that. But let’s go before a mom comes up to us again.” She said.

I looked around and found a mom looking at us already.

“You right, I lowkey want to get some whataburger, what about you?” I asked

“Bitch you already know the answer.” She replied.“Aight bet.” I said.

Once we got in the car, we put on BTS songs to hype us up for the concert later.

“Bitch don’t forget we have to take pictures before the concert to show off our fits.” She reminded. “Why would think I’d forget about that?” I asked. “Because you have shit memory.” She answered. “Bitch whatever.” I said rolling my eyes.

“Now do you wanna go inside or just go through drive thru?” I asked. “Let’s go inside. There might be some cute girls in there.” She replied. “You right.” I agreed.

After grabbing my purse, we jumped out of the car and headed towards the fast food joint.

Once we got inside, we immediately made eye contact with the cashier who was looking fine as ever.

“ you go first I’m hella nervous.” Your friend said. “I- what if I’m nervous too?” I said appalled at the audacity to make me go first. “ well bitch get over it.” She said slapping my ass. I rolled my eyes and moved to go order.

“And what can I get you to fine ladies?” The cashier asked looking us both over. “ may I get a barbecue bacon burger with a side of large fries and a large strawberry Fanta please?” I asked. “ a sweet drink for a sweet lady, and for you?” She stated. “ may I get the same thing except a large sweet tea?” You friend replied looking at the cashier up and down. “ of course. Will that be it for y’all today?” The cashier asked. “ throw in your number too.” I said smirking. “ Oo bold, I like it. You got it.” She replied grinning.

After eating and flirting with the cashier, we got back the car and headed towards the stadium since it’s still early. We don’t want to have to wait in line that long. Too much work.

Finally getting getting to the venue, we sat in the car to wait a little bit.

“ let’s take our pictures before everything starts.” I said getting my camera from the back. “Wow I’m so proud you didn’t forget this- oww.” “That’s what you get. Now let’s go before it gets darker.” I said jumping out of the car.

“How are we supposed to take a picture together? I didn’t bring my tripod with me” I said complaining. “Let’s just ask someone.” She said. “I can take them for you.” A random voice said. We both turned around and saw jungkook and Jimin standing there smiling a little bit. “Are you sure?” I asked hesitantly giving my camera to him. “Yes of course we have a few minutes left for our break, I wouldn’t mind spending it with two pretty girls like you.” He said taking the camera gently. “Okay, thank you by the way.” I said thankful.

“You guys are really beautiful, like literal angels. I hoped to see y’all in the crowd...” Jimin said. “ oh my name is Y/n.” “I’m y/bsf.” We replied. “Those are beautiful names.” Jimin said smiling. “ well we have to get going. So we will see you in the crowd hopefully. And hopefully backstage.” Jungkook said handing back my camera. “Yes backstage.” Your friends said. “Amazing. See you later!” They said walking off.

Y/bsf and I just looked at each other and busted out laughing. “ I think God is on our side today.” She said. “ you fuckin right.” I agreed. “Let’s go to the line. The doors are getting ready to open.” I said locking the car up. “Aight. I’m excited as hell. All I know if namjoon’s find ass looks at me in some sort of way, he’s getting this kitty thrown at him.” She stated. “And he better be ready to catch it.” She added. I just laughed even though I know she would probably do some crazy shit like that, but not to namjoon.

a/n: Here you go, boo! I’m sorry it took so long to post it, but better late than never. I hope you enjoy <3

Thanks for the tag @shoutogepi 💙😚

tagging: @mythiccheroacademia @bnhainthewoo @gallickingun @dabiesel @kingtamakimurder @lilsparkyswife @onigiri-writes @mindninjax @and everyone else that wanna do it

(ignore if you already did it my bad)

da website I used: here

Warning – May be upsetting to some readers

“Are you awake?” Namjoon mumbles, the low timbre of his morning voice tickling the base of your neck as he tries to curl around you. Your eyes are too sore with tiredness to open, but you are awake. You nod, hearing him sniff as the movement thrusts your hair into his nose, “I’m really scared about leaving. I know it sounds stupid because everyone does it and they always come home, but I still can’t help worrying,” He admits to you. Still unable to open your eyes, you shift around under the covers until your face is pressed into Namjoon’s neck, breathing him in for the last time in two years,

Warnings: sad

Words: 1.9K

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Genre: hella angst

A/N: yoooooo this hurt to write, man.

You curse as the hot water you have boiled for your coffee laps the sides of your mug, splashing onto your hands. You walk over to the sink to run your hands under cold water. You hear your text tone go off across the bench. You glance over and see a few messages. It’s probably Tae, you think, smiling at the thought. Your one year anniversary is coming up, and you both had never felt more in love. You always read about people falling out of love, and you don’t ever picture yourself in that situation with Taehyung. He is the missing puzzle piece in your life, and you both complete each other. 

You dry your hands and walk over to your phone and unlock it. 

“Hey babe. I’ll be over in about half an hour, leaving work now xx,” the message from Tae reads. 

“Awesome, I’ll see you soon, drive safely x,” you respond. You set your phone down and take your coffee into your room. You decide you want to catch up on some school work while you wait for him to arrive. You walk up to your room and throw on an old hoodie of Taehyung’s. It smells of him. You lift the collar over your nose and inhale deeply, taking in the musky scent of dried vanilla and a hint of cinnamon.

You sit down on your bed, all cozied-up in the oversized hoodie. As you type away on your laptop, you suddenly remember that you don’t have anything prepared for dinner. Tae will likely be staying the night, as it’s a usual occurrence for him to say he will only stay for a few hours, then end up curled into a ball, fast asleep in your bed. You sit there for a moment, reminiscing the sweet nights he stayed in your bed, his warm bare skin resting against your cold back, his warmth radiating through your every muscle, bone and nerve. His touch sends tingles down your spine, and his hot breath on your neck invites goosebumps to appear all over your body. You smile at the thought of being able to spend the night with this perfect human you are so luckily able to call yours. 

You pull out your phone to text him, momentarily glancing at the photo of you both, set as your lockscreen. You smile gently before unlocking your phone. 

“I don’t have anything here for dinner. Can you maybe grab some takeaway? x” you type. You know he will see the message, and you don’t expect a reply as he is driving. 

You sit back on your bed. You’re so excited for your anniversary. You have planned so much for the two of you, including a cute lakeside picnic, a trip to the amusement park followed by a fancy dinner. The thought of spending the day with him like that still makes you giddy, just like it did a year ago.

The first time you had met him was on a snowy day and you were outside at the bus stop, freezing half to death waiting for a ride home. He happened to also be waiting there, and seeing you shiver relentlessly, he offered you his jumper. The first time you had touched each other, sparks flew up and down your veins, igniting an indescribable feeling inside of you. You had fallen in love with his gentle, beaming smile right then and there, not knowing the next year would be full of days where you find something new about him you love everyday. 

Your phone buzzes, snapping you out of your thoughts. 

“I’m on the freeway at the moment, about to hit town. What takeaway do you want?”

“Ummm, I don’t mind. Let me know when you’ve got everything and on your way okay? I love you x,” you reply, locking your phone after you hit send.

You go back to your work and pump out some of your best writing after feeling inspired to write all day. You love to write. You love the feeling of being able to spill your emotions out over a page without having to say a single word. You love the way words fit perfectly together and you love how something so simple could bring such an immense meaning. 

You have written countless pages when you realise how much time has passed. You look at the clock. It has been two hours since you last messaged Tae. A pang of worry rattles through you. Not wanting to worry yourself any more, you look up the traffic conditions to see if that’s what is keeping him. 

You open the link and a congested freeway is what appears on the radar. That makes sense, you think to yourself, letting out the breath you didn’t know you were holding. He’s just stuck in traffic. You decide to message him just to make sure. 

“Hey Tae, is the traffic bad where you are?” 

Feeling confident that you shouldn’t be worried, you decide to take a last minute shower so you didn’t have to when Tae is there. You fetch your towel, spare clothes and head towards the bathroom, taking your phone with you for music. You strip down and just as you’re about to step into the running water, your phone buzzes. You breathe a sigh of relief as you reach for it off of the bench, however as you look at the screen, you see a call coming from an unknown number. You answer the call thinking Tae’s phone must’ve died. You turn the shower off a throw on a towel as you as you press the green button. 

You prepare to hear a long-winded explanation on what happened. Your stomach tightens when the voice on the other end isn’t Taehyung’s. 

“Hello, is this Y/F/N Y/L/N?” asks the mysterious caller. 

“Yes, that’s me,” you respond cautiously, listening to your voice echo off the bathroom walls. 

“My name is Sergeant Park. Would you be able to make your way down to your local Police Station, please Ma’am?” he says in a stern voice.

“What is this about?” you question. You rack your brain as to anything you might be in trouble for. Unpaid parking tickets? Maybe a lost wallet?

“I think its best if you come down to the Police Station before we talk to you in depth,” he replies bluntly. 

After ending the call with the officer, your heart is pounding in your chest. What happens if Taehyung arrives and I’m not here? His phone is dead, isn’t it? How will he contact me? you think.

You quickly toss on your old clothes as well as Taehyungs’s jumper, grab your phone and keys and rush to your car. 

The drive to the station seems like it takes years. You can’t think of any reasons why you’d be called there. Your stomach flips in your abdomen and you want to vomit. You pull in to the carpark and quickly check your reflection in the mirror. You step outside, taking a few deep breaths, causing puffy clouds to form in the winter air. You walk inside the building, preparing all possible explanations, responses and thank you’s in your mind. 

“Um, my name is Y/N, I was called down here,” you state to the person at the front. You are directed to an office and promptly take a seat in front of Sergeant Park’s desk. You look at your phone while you wait, hoping you get a text or call from Tae so you can explain to him the situation. 

“Hello, Y/N.” a voice says from the doorway, causing you to slightly jump and snap your head up from your phone. 

“Are you the girlfriend of Kim Taehyung?” he continues with a frustratingly unreadable expression. Your heart leaps out of your chest. Has Taehyung been arrested? What did he do? Maybe thats why he hasn’t responded. A million thoughts race through your mind. 

“Yes, that would be me,” you say shakily, unprepared for the sentence that follows.

The officer takes a seat in front of you and takes your hands in his. He looks straight into your eyes, making you slightly uncomfortable. His hands are clammy and sweaty.

“I’m sorry to have to inform you, Y/N. Taeyung has passed away in a car accident this evening, about two hours ago.”

The world suddenly stops. Realisation kicks in, piecing together everything. He was late, he didn’t reply, there was a hold up on the free way… 

Your heart stops. You don’t even feel yourself breathing anymore. It feels as though you’ve been hit in the stomach with a baseball bat. You clutch your chest, trying to numb the burning ache. This is what heartbreak feels like. 

“Ma’am? Did you-” the Sergeant starts, but quickly stops when he sees the tears erupt from your eyes all at once, like a long overdue volcano, finally bursting. 

“This can’t be real. This can’t be real. There is no way. This has to be a joke. When I go home he will be waiting for me there. He will,” the words tumble out of your mouth between sobs and you can’t stop them. They just keep coming. Before you know it, you’re on the ground shaking and crying violently. You’re screaming, you know that much from the tearing feeling deep in your throat, but you can’t hear yourself. All you can hear is your raging pulse. The Sergeant tries to help you up but you can’t stand. Why should you stand? Why should you leave? You have lost a part of yourself. 

You hear the Sergeant’s voice, but you can’t hear what he is saying. His voice bounces around inside your mind, making it impossible to understand him. You open your eyes and your vision is blurred. 

“Ma’am. Ma’am, we retrieved something from the wreck. Please listen, Ma’am,” his words finally register in your mind. They found something. You sit up, still shaking and sobbing. You don’t know why, though. There is no point. There is no point at all. 

You’re lifted up and placed back on the chair by Sergeant Park. He walks to his cabinets and pulls out a ziplock bag. Inside it appears to be a mobile phone. He sits down and places the bag in front of you. 

“Now, Ma’am, we aren’t sure how the accident was caused. We are still investigating, however we did find this on his lap.” 

You look away. You can’t bear the though of him at all right now. You know you don’t have the strength to take it, but a small part of you know’s you’ll regret not  taking it. You long to see the final thing he looked at, the final message he sent, the final photo he took. You break down in to louder sobs again, fearing you might throw up. This still feels like a bad dream, but your heart tells you what you’re feeling is very real. 

The Sergeant looks at you, encouraging you to take the phone.

You sit back in your chair and take a few deep breaths and stare at the ceiling. You feel numb. You feel… dead. The word makes you flinch. After a few minutes, you sit forward finally working up the courage to open the bag, and unlock the phone. His lock screen is a candid photo of you holding your camera, photographing something else. Tears continue to run down your face. You put the passcode in and it instantly opens to the last application he was using. Messages. Your jaw falls open and you clasp your hand over your mouth. 

He was texting you back. Your message killed him. You read the unsent message, still typed up in the message box.

Warnings: sad, trigger warning

Words: 2.2k

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Genre: angst

A/N: I’m Australian so if any lingo in here doesn’t make sense I’m so sorry just message me or google it lol.

The engine roars to life as hot air blasts through the heating vents, warming your cold hands. 

“You ready to go?” Jimin asks with a smile. He is taking you out to a bar as a change up from your regular dinner dates at fancy restaurants. You both want to let loose tonight. You zip your jacket up higher to your chin and put your hands in your pockets, your warm breath forming puffy clouds in the still cold air in the car.

“Yep, let’s go,” you reply glancing at him, smiling a hidden smile beneath the collar of your jacket. 

He pulls out of the driveway and switches on the radio. Instantly, a cover of Can’t Help Falling In Love, you had been playing earlier pours through the speakers` and both of your faces light up. You both love this song.

As the lyrics flow throughout the car, Jimin reaches over and places his hand on your thigh and begins to sing along. The drive to the bar is quiet, but not awkward. You listen to the well-fitting lyrics and watch the headlights of other cars passing by, thinking about and imagining their lives. 

You pull into a parking space across from the bar. Jimin switches the car off and hops out, making his way to your side of the car. He opens your door and bows.

‘M’lady,” he giggles with a smirk. You step outside with your bag in your hand. You walk up to him and plant a kiss on his cheek. 

‘Thank you, kind sir,’ you respond with a curtsy. After closing and locking the car, he takes your cold hand in his warm one and walks with you across the road to the bar.  

You are about to walk inside when you’re stopped by the bouncer. 

“I’m going to need to see your ID,” he says to Jimin sternly. Jimin shoots you a look. 

‘Every fucking time,’ he mutters just loud enough for you to hear. You stifle a laugh as he fishes his licence out of his wallet. The bouncer examines his ID while Jimin glances at you, rolling his eyes. 

‘You’re all good to go in,’ he says to you, handing Jimin his ID back. As you walk inside the bar, you’re hit with the strong smell of mixed alcohol and the underlying musk of cigarette smoke. The bustling atmosphere makes you giddy. A live band plays in the corner of the room, sending an electric feeling rush through you. 

Jimin takes your hand and guides you over to the bar. You follow him through the crowd, already smiling to yourself. You love him so damn much. You take a seat and the bartender walks over to you both. 

“Just a Gin and Tonic please,” he says, looking back up at you, gesturing for you to order something.

“Oh, just a Whiskey on the rocks, please,” you say to the bartender with a smile. You don’t usually drink alcohol, but tonight, you’re letting go and having fun. He nods and walks away.

“Man, I really like it here already,” Jimin shouts over the music. You laugh and nod. 

“So do I. I am so glad we did this,” you yell back with a grin. The bartender walks back over to where you are seated and hands you your drinks. You pick up the glass and raise it towards Jimin. 

“To us letting loose!” you shout, clinking your glass against his. 

“To us,” he copies. You pull your glass back and take a sip. You feel the burn in the back of your throat and the warmth it emits in your stomach. Suddenly, the music switches over to one of you and Jimin’s favourite songs. You both smile in unison and stand up, taking your drinks with you, erring on the side of caution. You both dance together on the dance floor, shouting the lyrics at the top of your lungs and laughing between sips. You feel truly happy in this moment, dancing and singing with the love of your life right in front of you. 

“I love you, Y/N,” Jimin calls to you.

The end of the song approaches as you move closer to him. The song ends.

“I love you, too, Jimin,” you yell into the now silent room, accidentally. Everyone looks at you and Jimin bursts out laughing. Everyone is giving you strange looks but you don’t mind. You join him soon after as the next song starts to play. You laugh so hard that your stomach hurts, even though it wasn’t that funny. Jimin is trying to catch his breath also. You think that maybe your giddiness is down to your alcohol consumption, glancing at your almost empty, second glass. As you laugh, you feel a presence behind you. Hands grip your waist and you feel a hot breath on your neck. 

“Nice dancing, baby, lets go back to mine and you can show me what a girl like you can do,” whispers a low, husky voice. You lurch forward out of the strangers grip. You spin around and see a tall figure with his hood over his head, a smirk painted on his face. Before you can say anything, you’re pushed to the side. 

“Hey man, she’s with me, yeah? Watch yourself,” Jimin warns darkly. The man simply laughs and backs off. He turns to you.

“Are you okay? Did he do anything to?” his words tumble out. 

“Babe, I’m fine. Thank you for coming over. What a creep..” you respond, reassuring Jimin. He lets out a deep breath and grabs your hand. 

“Good. If you see him again just let me know, okay?” he asks worriedly. You nod with a small smile. He leads you back towards the dance floor. You dance some more, drink some more and sing some more. You are having the time of your life with Jimin. Your vision starts to blur a little and you feel a bit sick. 

“Hey Chim, I’m going to the bathroom, I’ll be back shortly,” you call out to him, releasing his hand. You half walk, half stumble towards the bathroom. You open the door and walk to the sink and look at yourself in the mirror. Your hair is a mess and most of your eye makeup is smudged. All you can do is laugh at yourself alone in the bathroom. After refreshening a little bit by splashing water on your face, you exit the bathroom. Just as you close the door, a hand clasps around your mouth and drags you away. You quickly register in your mind that this is a stranger, and you’re in trouble. You kick and scream, trying to free yourself from the strangers grasp, but they are far bigger than you and no one can hear you over the blaring music. You can’t escape. 

You’re dragged out the side door into a dark alleyway. You’re slammed against the brick wall harshly. You yell out in pain as your ribs collide with the graffitied wall. The stranger spins you around roughly and pins your arms to the wall. It’s the creep from inside. 

“Hey baby. You miss me?” he breaths into your ear, sending chills down your spine. He runs his hands over your body and you assume the worst is about to happen. You scream out but no one can hear you. You begin to cry.

“Shh shh. Don’t cry beautiful, I am going to give you exactly what that little fucker can’t,” he says to you, referring to Jimin. You spit in his face. 

“Fuck you,” you bark through gritted teeth. You instantly regret your decision when the man raises his hand and slaps you hard. Your face stings from the sharp contact and you yelp. 

“That’s it, bitch. No more Mr. Fucking Nice Guy,” he screams in your face, ripping your shirt, exposing your bra. He eyes your body as you squirm in discomfort. You feel disgusting. You feel violated. All you can do is cry. The man is about to unbutton his and your jeans when the side door swings open. 

A livid Jimin spots the two of you and charges towards the man, catching him off guard and tackling him to the ground. They hit the hard ground with a crash. You breathe at the release of your wrists. Jimin raises his fist above his head and lets it plummet into the strangers face, over and over again. A sickening crunching sound along with JImin grunting is all you can hear.

“Don’t you fucking dare touch her like that. Or anyone,” he screams as he repeatedly hits the man. The man suddenly regains his strength and flips Jimin over to his back, laying punch after punch into his jaw and ribs. You glance around, panicked, looking for anything to get him off Jimin. You see a wooden crate. You pick it up and throw it on the mans head, causing him to topple to the side. You heave Jimin off the ground and grimace at his bloody, battered face. You pull him away from the man of whom you assume is unconscious.

“Oh my god, Jimin, we need to get you to a hospital,” you exclaim, cradling his face in your hands. He shakes his head and blood sputters out of his mouth. 

“Bruises will heal, babe, let’s just get out of here,” he croaks. 

You nod vigorously and start to gather your things when you notice the man stand up. He stares at you both, sending chills through your body. His hands are in his pockets and blood is erupting from his nose, mouth and one eye. He takes one step forward. You would run if you weren’t supporting almost all of Jimins weight. You step back with Jimin. The man smirks at you. The rest happens in slow motion.

He pulls a knife from his pocket and lunges towards you. Jimin pushes you back towards the wall behind you and jumps towards the man. You scream his name. The man thrusts his hand forward and you feel all oxygen leave your body as you watch the knife pierce Jimins stomach. You watch Jimin fall to the ground. The man turns on his heel and sprints out of the alley way, laughing manically. Jimin hits the ground with a thud. You rush towards him, crying and screaming. 

“No, no, Jimin, baby, look at me. Look at me, Jimin, you’re okay. It’s all okay. You’re okay,” you stammer, sobbing. 

Jimins beautiful eyes meet yours, his breathing is laboured. He slowly places his hand on his stomach and then raises it to his face, glancing at his blood-soaked hand before letting out a halfhearted chuckle. 

“Wow, I’m bleeding really heavily, aren’t I?” he remarks, gulping hard. You panic, holding his head in your lap. You fumble through your pockets looking for your phone. You retrieve it and dial the emergency number. 

“Hello? Oh my god hello, I need an ambulance right now. My boyfriend was stabbed, please hurry. Where am I? Oh, um, I am at the Vibe Nightclub and-” you’re cut off by Jimin grasping the phone and lowering it. 

“Y/N…this is pretty bad,” he coughs, blood spraying everywhere. “Please just spend these last moments with me. Pretend..pretend I haven’t just been stabbed, okay?” he pleads with a forced smile. 

A strangled sob escapes your throat. “Jimin, you’re going to make it, don’t talk like that, please,” you ask, your voice cracking. You fumble for his hand, holding it firmly while brushing his hair out of his eyes. You can hear the operators voice faintly through the phone that is now lying on the concrete ground. 

“Tonight was really great, Y/N, I am glad we spent it together,” he whispers laboriously. 

You run your hands through his hair, your tears landing on his cheek. “Stay with me, baby, they know where we are, they’re going to help you,” you reassure him, placing a gentle kiss on his forehead. He smiles a small smile.

“I couldn’t-” he coughs with such force, blood begins to run from his nose. “I couldn’t have asked for anyone better than you. Thank you so much. I’m so sorry that tonight wasn’t what you wanted.” He coughs again. He squeezes your hand. You can hear sirens in the distance getting closer and closer. 

“They’re on their way, baby. They’re almost here. Keep talking to me,” you say sternly, stroking his cheeks. The colour from his face is fading fast and you know deep down that there is nothing they can do. The blue and red lights are getting closer, as Jimins grip on your hand loosens. 

He licks his bottom lip slowly, before whispering, “Don’t you ever forget how much you meant to me.” The use of past tense in his sentence makes you choke up. You begin shaking violently with each sob as you watch his eyes close. His breathing starts to slow. The ambulance pulls up at the end of the alley way and everything happens in a blur.

 Paramedics race towards you just as Jimins hand falls from your own to the harsh ground. Your hand flies up to your mouth as paramedics attempt to revive him. They try for several minutes. You lay in the foetal position, hugging your knees to your chest, muffling your own screams with your hand. The paramedic touches your shoulder, causing you to sit up, wiping your face and smearing his blood across your cheek. The paramedic sits in front of you, blocking the view of Jimin. 

Warnings: sad, war 

Words: 2.3k

Pairing: Jin x Reader

Genre: angst

A/N: YO BRO NO 

“Goodnight, Y/N, I miss you so much. I’ll be home before you know it,” Jin smiles on your laptop screen. He looks different with a shaved head and army fatigues, but you have gotten used to it. He’d been in the South Korean Army for around three months and was undergoing training. You both made a promise to call each other as much as possible and so far, it’s been almost every night. You miss him like hell but you know you can’t do anything about it. 

“I love you, too, Jinnie. Talk to you tomorrow night,” you respond with a sad smile, closing your laptop. You let out a deep breath and put your face in your hands. It’s really taking a toll on you and you don’t know how you’re going to survive the next coming months. You miss him with all your heart. He was conscripted to the army, and you hate the government for it. 

You stand up and walk over to your closet and pull out a dark grey hoodie that belongs to Jin. You hold it to your face and breathe deeply, taking in his scent. It smells of his cologne. You smile into it as a small tear escapes your eye and drips onto his jumper. You slip it over your head and hug it into your body, pretending it’s him here with you. 

You slip into your bed with the hood up over your head. You fiddle with the drawstrings, holding on to the thought of Jin coming home before too long. You reach your hands out and brush them over the space where Jin would sleep. It’s cold and unforgiving. Soon enough, you drift off to sleep thinking about his return. 

You wake with the sun streaming through you window, hitting the the crystals hanging from the ceiling displaying beautiful colours on your, plain, white walls. That is what Jin is to you. He’s the colours and you’re the white wall. You’re beautiful together. You sigh, missing him even more than yesterday. 

“Fuck conscription,” you mutter as you throw your covers off your body. You glance over to the made up side of the bed, longing for when you would see him sprawled across it like always. 

You walk down the stairs to the kitchen and make yourself a coffee, preparing for work. Another day of making many more coffees. After a shower consisting of crying, cursing and denial, you throw on your dirty uniform and make your way to your car.

At work, your shift is filled with ungrateful customers, preventable mishaps and moody coworkers. You watch a happy couple walk into the coffee shop, hand in hand with beaming smiles. You sigh, wishing it was you and Jin. Suddenly, you feel bad for the couple. They’re young, and soon enough they’ll be in your position, too. 

Days go by like clockwork these past few months. All you do is work, come home, call Jin breifly and sleep. It’s driving you insane, and you knew today was going to be no different.

On your way home from work, you’re excited to see Jin’s face. He always makes your day better, and although he isn’t there, it’s better than nothing. You usually vent about work and you listen to the stories of the army. You have to wait for him to call you first so it will fit in his schedule. Waiting is agony.

You enter the quiet, dark house and throw your dirty clothes to the side, throwing on Jin’s shirt and track pants. You slump down on your bed, your laptop open and waiting. You sip at the green tea you made for yourself, feeling the hot water warm you from the inside. You occasionally check your phone to busy yourself while you wait. Minutes turn into hours and you begin to worry.

“It’s okay, he’s missed nights before. There will be a reason,” you tell yourself, still hoping he calls. The days he miss feel like an eternity. Living alone has never been something you wanted. Jin was always there, but now, that is no longer the case, his calls being the only truly comforting interaction you have all day. You lay on your back staring at the ceiling when you hear a notification from your laptop. You sit up abruptly, pulling the computer closer only to realise it’s an update notification. 

“Oh, for fucks sake,” you say to the laptop under your breath. You glance at the time. 10:30. You’re tired from work and you have started getting increasingly darker circles under your eyes. You lie back down, your eyes struggling to stay open. You get under the covers and fall asleep almost instantly. 

You awaken with a start, thinking you had missed a call from Jin. You see your unmoved laptop to your left. It’s the morning. He didn’t call. Your heart sinks and you sigh loudly. You slam your laptop shut out of frustration and saunter out of the room. Biting your lip, you make your way downstairs. It’s your day off and you decide to do what you do every day off you have had recently. You dive through the shower, to rid yourself of the makeup you didn’t remove last night. 

After your shower, you make a cup of tea and switch on the television. You sit on the couch, watching a murder documentary that you and Jin had always enjoyed, hugging your knees with a tea in your hand. Your freshly washed hair leaves a wet patch on your back. You had been thinking about all the reasons as to why he didn’t call. A pang of worry shoots through your chest. All you can assume is the worst, although you don’t believe it could be true. He isn’t even deployed yet. He’s training. He’s most likely busy. 

You are about to change the show you’re watching to something more lighthearted when your doorbell rings, startling you. You hadn’t heard that noise in months. You walk to the door and look through the peephole, but you don’t recognise the man you see outside. His hair is cropped short and close his scalp, and he is wearing an official looking suit. Your heart drops. Jin? You swing the door open, still clutching the mug in your hand. You’re sorely disappointed. That’s not Jin. Another man makes his way from the car parked in your driveway, a piece of paper in his hands. 

“Hello?” you say questionably to the strange men. 

“Hello. Is this the residence of Y/F/N Y/L/N?” the first man asks sternly. 

You nod, clenching your jaw, your stomach flipping.

“We have been asked to inform you that your partner, Kim Seokjin, has been reported dead in training at 1614, last night. Seokjin received a gunshot wound to the head in a training accident. On the behalf of the Secretary of Defense, I extend to you and your family my deepest sympathy in your great loss,” he states, expressionlessly. Nights spent praying to a god you don’t believe in that he returns safely flash in your mind. You now know, they are ignored, unanswered prayers

You hear a loud crash on the ground below you. You feel a burning sensation on your bare feet. You look down, unmoving, noticing you had dropped your tea. You don’t care. Suddenly your body loses the capability to hold your weight. You fall to the ground, screaming Jin’s name. You can’t breathe. You claw and your own throat trying to encourage some airflow, but all you can feel is a tightening in your chest, your lungs feeling like they’re being squeezed. Shards of glass pierce through the skin on your legs and hands, but you can’t feel it. The two officials rush towards you, taking an arm each and lifting you up, taking you towards your couch, and you let them. You hang limply in their grip, still sobbing and gasping for air. 

You’re placed in an upright position between the two officials. They hold your hands and talk to you with soothing voices, calming you down just enough for them to start removing the glass from your body. 

“Miss Y/L/N-” one official starts.

“…Y/N… Just Y/N is fine,” you interrupt quietly. 

“Y/N, Seokjin had written a letter to each important person in case of an event like this. A full report on the incident will be sent to you if you so choose..” he glances at you looking for an answer. You nod, avoiding his gaze. He continues. “This letter is addressed to you,” he says, handing you an envelope with your name on it written in Jin’s writing. 

“Now, Y/N, do you have anyone else who lives here?” the other official asks, holding your hand. You shake your head.

“We are able to send an officer to stay with you until you-”

“No, I’ll be fine here,” you interject. You know you won’t be fine, but you’d prefer not to be babysat. You need to grieve. 

After some other technicalities, the men leave. You’re sitting alone in your house, and suddenly it feels more silent than it did an hour ago. The lights are slightly darker, the smell is less fragrant and the air is cold. You look to your left and see the woollen blanket you two used to share when watching Netflix together. You pull it close, running the material between your fingers. You wrap it around your body and over your head like a cloak. The letter sitting on the coffee table catches your eye. You stare at it for a few minutes before leaning forward and picking it up. You slowly peel open the envelope and unfold the pages. It reads:

Y/N,

My princess, my beautiful girl, the love of my life. The army guys suggested I write a couple letters in case something happens, and if you’re reading this, something happened. I was never built for the army, so I always had a little hunch that this would happen. I should’ve done more for you. 

Y/N, I am so sorry. I am so sorry you have to read this without me there to comfort you. I have so may regrets, writing this. Remember when we went to the pet shop and you wanted that bloody dog? I should have bought it. At least you could’ve been a little less alone right now. Sorry about that. 

I don't want you to cry too hard. I know you will. You never took my advice, you stubborn ass. But just breathe. 

Speaking of advice, quit that shitty job. I know you hate it. Go do something you love. Or better yet, travel the world like we always said we would. Go without me, it’s fine. In time, you will start to heal and things will get better, and I am saying it now, I don’t mind if you move on. Obviously I’m fantastic and can’t be replaced because I am awesome but you can try, and I will laugh at your choices from up here. 

I am so thankful that i got to spend the time that I did with you. The first day I saw you at that awful coffee shop (QUIT THAT JOB) I fell head over heels. You’re so gorgeous, Y/N. I am so, so lucky to have been able to call you mine. There was never a day that went by when I didn’t think of you when I was here. All the other guys talked about their lovers like they were the stars, but Y/N, you’re the sun. You outshine everyone, and you gave me life. You reawakened the child in me. I can easily say that the best years of my life were with you. 

My hand hurts, you know I don’t like writing, so I will wrap this up now. Read this when you miss me, but heres to hoping you never have to. I miss you. I missed you ever day. I can assure you that the last thing on my mind before whatever happened, happened, was you. It was always you. I will never stop loving you.

P.S. go check the shoebox on the top shelf of the closet. 

Yours always,

Jin.

You’re crying hard. You clutch the letter to your chest and scream into the empty house. Tears flood your cheeks and fall onto your lap. You have never hurt this much. You will never hurt this much again. Jin wants you to move on, but you can’t. You know you won’t be able to. And somehow, you know Jin knew that you wouldn’t either. 

After what feels like hours of staring at the black television screen, you stand up, the letter still in your hand. The closet. You have to check the closet. You slowly make your way up the stairs, a million thoughts in your mind as you struggle to reach the top. You catch your breath and walk towards the closet.

With the shoebox in your hand, you make your way to your bed. You set the letter down on your nightstand. You stare at the box, unsure of if you can handle what’s inside. The thought of the not knowing, however, would eventually kill you. You slowly open the lid, revealing a small, navy blue, velvet box, a small piece of folded paper and a photo. You lift the photo out of the box and read the writing on the back. ‘My favourite photo of us. Do me a favour and frame it, would you?’ You smile sadly and turn it back around. You and Jin sit together on a park bench, rugged up to suit the cold, snowy, winter. His arm is wrapped around your shoulder and huge smiles are plastered on your faces. You bite your lip trying to stop yourself from crying more. Just breathe, Jin’s letter said. Just breathe. 

You pick up the piece of paper next and gently unfold it, treating it as if it were the most precious, rare jewel in the world. 

I was going to ask you, in person of course. If you’re reading this, I’m sorry I couldn’t, it read. You frown, confused. You take the small box in your hand and open it, revealing a simple, diamond ring. Jin’s writing on the inside of the box reads, Y/N, will would you have marry married me?