daydreamer

I've never even fucked an alpha before.

He stared intently at the screen floating before him, then swatted it away.

The screen disappeared into translucent pixels as he fell back onto the bed, bouncing a bit on the soft duvet.

The pristine white ceiling greeted his gaze.

An arrange marriage.

With the third prince of the empire.

As a vassal prince, one who left his planet at early age to receive the imperial education within the heart of the empire, he did entertained the thought of being chosen as a spouse for one of the imperial princes, back when he was still young and the helplessness of the situation was all-consuming.

He never thought it would actually come true now that he was an adult.

What would become of him?

It was already hard enough to return to his homeplanet for family visit. If he marries into the imperial family, it would only get even harder.

And yet, refusing was not a choice.

He basically lived in the imperial city all his life; he knew the unwritten rules of things.

The imperial family gets whatever they want.

By any means necessary.

The common folks might view the imperial family as benevolent rulers, and while he could agree the imperial family did well in ruling the empire, being benevolent was not one of their traits.

It was definitely not the third prince's character either.

He let his eyelids fell and his sight darkened, breathing in and out regularly. The radio was playing out some news about space debris wandering into passanger flight routes, causing delays in arrivals, and he let the noise wash over him.

If he couldn't turn it down, he could only accept it.

More specifically, a pro-alpha elitist family.

The imperial family only wants alphas in their line and no one else. They won't be caught dead looking down on betas and omegas, but the fact of the matter is they only want alphas to marry their children.

Being an alpha himself, he benefited immensely in their favoritism, he could admit to that.

Being an alpha himself, he was in line of being the prince consort candidate, he knew that too.

Being an alpha and was chosen as prince consort was not what he envisioned even in his worst nightmare.

A prince consort of the imperial family is an alpha chosen to bear the heir of the imperial prince they're marrying. It involves body modification that allow the consort to actually bear a live in their body against their very nature.

He tried to not delve too deeply in that topic back when he was studying in the Imperial Academy but it didn't mean he was not aware of it.

He was.

He is.

A vassal prince had been chosen as his consort. A file was sent along with the notice and the name mentioned was familiar.

It was the officer responsible for cleaning the mishap of Blackhole E3-17; he'd communicated with him a few times regarding the design of his cleaning devices. The vassal had a good head on his shoulder.

He knew it'd come to this.

That man had to be silenced.

Political marriage was the easy way out.

He ignored most of them in favor for a particular list of medication he would have to prepare himself to take.

At the top of the list was one dreadful name.

WG:A.

Womb Growth: Alpha.

He clicked the three letters and a curated list of ingredients for said medicine appeared. The first in line, stated in bold:

Semen (Donor: Third Imperial Prince) 70%.

I've never even fucked an alpha before.

He stared intently at the screen floating before him, then swatted it away.

The screen disappeared into translucent pixels as he fell back onto the bed, bouncing a bit on the soft duvet.

The pristine white ceiling greeted his gaze.

An arrange marriage.

With the third prince of the empire.

As a vassal prince, one who left his planet at early age to receive the imperial education within the heart of the empire, he did entertained the thought of being chosen as a spouse for one of the imperial princes, back when he was still young and the helplessness of the situation was all-consuming.

He never thought it would actually come true now that he was an adult.

What would become of him?

It was already hard enough to return to his homeplanet for family visit. If he marries into the imperial family, it would only get even harder.

And yet, refusing was not a choice.

He basically lived in the imperial city all his life; he knew the unwritten rules of things.

The imperial family gets whatever they want.

By any means necessary.

The common folks might view the imperial family as benevolent rulers, and while he could agree the imperial family did well in ruling the empire, being benevolent was not one of their traits.

It was definitely not the third prince's character either.

He let his eyelids fell and his sight darkened, breathing in and out regularly. The radio was playing out some news about space debris wandering into passanger flight routes, causing delays in arrivals, and he let the noise wash over him.

If he couldn't turn it down, he could only accept it.

More specifically, a pro-alpha elitist family.

The imperial family only wants alphas in their line and no one else. They won't be caught dead looking down on betas and omegas, but the fact of the matter is they only want alphas to marry their children.

Being an alpha himself, he benefited immensely in their favoritism, he could admit to that.

Being an alpha himself, he was in line of being the prince consort candidate, he knew that too.

Being an alpha and was chosen as prince consort was not what he envisioned even in his worst nightmare.

A prince consort of the imperial family is an alpha chosen to bear the heir of the imperial prince they're marrying. It involves body modification that allow the consort to actually bear a live in their body against their very nature.

He tried to not delve too deeply in that topic back when he was studying in the Imperial Academy but it didn't mean he was not aware of it.

He was.

He is.

A vassal prince had been chosen as his consort. A file was sent along with the notice and the name mentioned was familiar.

It was the officer responsible for cleaning the mishap of Blackhole E3-17; he'd communicated with him a few times regarding the design of his cleaning devices. The vassal had a good head on his shoulder.

He knew it'd come to this.

That man had to be silenced.

Political marriage was the easy way out.

I've never even fucked an alpha before.

He stared intently at the screen floating before him, then swatted it away.

The screen disappeared into translucent pixels as he fell back onto the bed, bouncing a bit on the soft duvet.

The pristine white ceiling greeted his gaze.

An arrange marriage.

With the third prince of the empire.

As a vassal prince, one who left his planet at early age to receive the imperial education within the heart of the empire, he did entertained the thought of being chosen as a spouse for one of the imperial princes, back when he was still young and the helplessness of the situation was all-consuming.

He never thought it would actually come true now that he was an adult.

What would become of him?

It was already hard enough to return to his homeplanet for family visit. If he marries into the imperial family, it would only get even harder.

And yet, refusing was not a choice.

He basically lived in the imperial city all his life; he knew the unwritten rules of things.

The imperial family gets whatever they want.

By any means necessary.

The common folks might view the imperial family as benevolent rulers, and while he could agree the imperial family did well in ruling the empire, being benevolent was not one of their traits.

It was definitely not the third prince's character either.

He let his eyelids fell and his sight darkened, breathing in and out regularly. The radio was playing out some news about space debris wandering into passanger flight routes, causing delays in arrivals, and he let the noise wash over him.

If he couldn't turn it down, he could only accept it.

More specifically, a pro-alpha elitist family.

The imperial family only wants alphas in their line and no one else. They won't be caught dead looking down on betas and omegas, but the fact of the matter is they only want alphas to marry their children.

Being an alpha himself, he benefited immensely in their favoritism, he could admit to that.

Being an alpha himself, he was in line of being the prince consort candidate, he knew that too.

Being an alpha and was chosen as prince consort was not what he envisioned even in his worst nightmare.

A prince consort of the imperial family is an alpha chosen to bear the heir of the imperial prince they're marrying. It involves body modification that allow the consort to actually bear a live in their body against their very nature.

He tried to not delve too deeply in that topic back when he was studying in the Imperial Academy but it didn't mean he was not aware of it.

He was.

He is.

Magic is not real.

If it is, then someone better show some concrete proof.

Or else, it doesn't.

No, showing grainy surveillance of some transparent figure in some shady parking spot is not a concrete proof.

He was so tired of explaining it that at some point, he just stared blankly at anyone trying to proof the existence of paranormal things.

Idiocy is contagious and all that, so he usually make himself scarce at the subtlest possible time.

Another classmate muttering about some unscientific sighting is another name crossed in his mind.

Honestly, he didn't mind their beliefs, if only they didn't mind his disbelief. Let's just agree to disagree, yes?

Sadly, most of them were hell-bent they were right.

And maybe they were, if only the proof is proofing itself.

They were not though.

The device used to detect anomaly went haywire before dying on them was the first noted incident.

The fortified vehicle used to transport anomaly malfunctioned and a high-risk entity escaped concealment, now still at large, was the second.

Now, their agents had been dispatched to retrieve said entity and discovered their powers went quiet. Not a peep could be sense, like it was all a lie and they were just normal ordinary humans.

It creeped the agents so much they had to be pulled from the mission and sent for treatment.

Wary, the bureau sent the laymen whose responsibility was to handle the papers into the area to investigate the bizarre phenomenon.

They had circle the suspicious area and a team was sent out with detection device to check the anomaly.

The students streamed out the examination hall with the jubilance previously missing during their year of exam preparation. They had to wait a few months before the grading is concluded and getting the result.

In the meantime, they might seek part-time jobs or waste their time of youth, spending time with the schoolmates they might not see again.

He jostled around with his group of friends, making prediction of their exam scores, as they walked out of the school ground and towards the bus stop.

The street was lined with cars and bikes, guardians picking up the students.

He crossed the street with the rest, nearly bouncing on his feet in giddiness.

The exam was over.

He had a few months, nearly a year, before enrollment to the matriculation or university. He still hadn't made the decision, but the fact that he could let off of studying for a bit was a reason for celebration.

Walking past a couple going against the flow of the crowd, he noticed a device that looked like a satellite communicator with thick antenna protruding on top of it.

They were in suit and ties, yet prefer antiques device.

"This is going nowhere," sighed Fasha, wiping the sweat off her chin. The edge of her shirt collar was soak through.

They stopped by the roadside, watching students and parents crossing the road. The sounds of muted conversation and roaring engines filled their silence.

"Let's get back into the car. We need to rethink our plan."

Johan took the lead. They got back into the car they parked near a residential area.

They had circled the area in car, then again on foot, to no avail. Their feet were aching and their shirts were wet with sweat, with no result to show for it.

Turning on the AC and waiting for the col air to fill the car, they sat in contemplation as they stared at the digital document in their hand.

Johan tapped the screen. "Let's start from the beginning. There're two hypotheses we're looking at right now. One, it's a new localized phenomenon that neutralize everything anomalous, including humans' supernatural abilities Two, it's an undiscovered anomaly.

"I prefer the second, just so it's less of a headache."

"I'd rather it's the first possibility. Then we can just isolate the area and be done," shared Fasha, punching the buttons on the detector futilely.

"The supernatural will not like it."

With a roll of her eyes, Fasha sneered, "I don't care what they like. We should build a new headquarter in the no-anomaly area and forbid the supernatural from entering."

"Hey," Johan chided with a side-eye, "they're risking their lives in this line of work."

"And we're not?" Fasha threw the device across the backseat, turning to stare at Johan with her whole body. "We're literally in the place that suck their abilities out of their bodies, not knowing what we're facing, and they're gonna say we cruise through the job? Hello?"

His sigh was heavy and defeated. "They're just scared of losing their power."

"They acted superior just because of their powers. Imagine if-"

Fasha killed the rest of her thought before they reach her tongue.

Magic is not real.

If it is, then someone better show some concrete proof.

Or else, it doesn't.

No, showing grainy surveillance of some transparent figure in some shady parking spot is not a concrete proof.

He was so tired of explaining it that at some point, he just stared blankly at anyone trying to proof the existence of paranormal things.

Idiocy is contagious and all that, so he usually make himself scarce at the subtlest possible time.

Another classmate muttering about some unscientific sighting is another name crossed in his mind.

Honestly, he didn't mind their beliefs, if only they didn't mind his disbelief. Let's just agree to disagree, yes?

Sadly, most of them were hell-bent they were right.

And maybe they were, if only the proof is proofing itself.

They were not though.

The device used to detect anomaly went haywire before dying on them was the first noted incident.

The fortified vehicle used to transport anomaly malfunctioned and a high-risk entity escaped concealment, now still at large, was the second.

Now, their agents had been dispatched to retrieve said entity and discovered their powers went quiet. Not a peep could be sense, like it was all a lie and they were just normal ordinary humans.

It creeped the agents so much they had to be pulled from the mission and sent for treatment.

Wary, the bureau sent the laymen whose responsibility was to handle the papers into the area to investigate the bizarre phenomenon.

They had circle the suspicious area and a team was sent out with detection device to check the anomaly.

The students streamed out the examination hall with the jubilance previously missing during their year of exam preparation. They had to wait a few months before the grading is concluded and getting the result.

In the meantime, they might seek part-time jobs or waste their time of youth, spending time with the schoolmates they might not see again.

He jostled around with his group of friends, making prediction of their exam scores, as they walked out of the school ground and towards the bus stop.

The street was lined with cars and bikes, guardians picking up the students.

He crossed the street with the rest, nearly bouncing on his feet in giddiness.

The exam was over.

He had a few months, nearly a year, before enrollment to the matriculation or university. He still hadn't made the decision, but the fact that he could let off of studying for a bit was a reason for celebration.

Walking past a couple going against the flow of the crowd, he noticed a device that looked like a satellite communicator with thick antenna protruding on top of it.

They were in suit and ties, yet prefer antiques device.

Magic is not real.

If it is, then someone better show some concrete proof.

Or else, it doesn't.

No, showing grainy surveillance of some transparent figure in some shady parking spot is not a concrete proof.

He was so tired of explaining it that at some point, he just stared blankly at anyone trying to proof the existence of paranormal things.

Idiocy is contagious and all that, so he usually make himself scarce at the subtlest possible time.

Another classmate muttering about some unscientific sighting is another name crossed in his mind.

Honestly, he didn't mind their beliefs, if only they didn't mind his disbelief. Let's just agree to disagree, yes?

Sadly, most of them were hell-bent they were right.

And maybe they were, if only the proof is proofing itself.

They were not though.

The device used to detect anomaly went haywire before dying on them was the first noted incident.

The fortified vehicle used to transport anomaly malfunctioned and a high-risk entity escaped concealment, now still at large, was the second.

Now, their agents had been dispatched to retrieve said entity and discovered their powers went quiet. Not a peep could be sense, like it was all a lie and they were just normal ordinary humans.

It creeped the agents so much they had to be pulled from the mission and sent for treatment.

Wary, the bureau sent the laymen whose responsibility was to handle the papers into the area to investigate the bizarre phenomenon.

They had circle the suspicious area and a team was sent out with detection device to check the anomaly.

He woke up disoriented. The world seemed to blur before coming to a focus, then blurred again.

He shook his head. It made it worse.

Pain pounded his head and body, mostly pronounced on his abdomen. He groaned as he tried to sit up, the rough surface pressing against his palms.

As he sat back to gather himself, the surrounding came together in his view.

A grand staircase reaching up, a pavilion poking the heaven, and he was the insignificant being at the foot of their mercy.

He blinked.

That was a familiar sight.

Oh. It was a familiar place. He never expected to be there again.

He was not supposed to be there.

His mind went blank before he rose to his feet.

He needed to get out of there. That was the first priority.

Leaving the grand staircase and the people guarding it, along with the celebration up above in the pavilion, he limped his way out of the establishment.

Thick stone slabs lined the broad pathway. On either side, tall wall rose up, shielding the property from outsiders' eyes. At the end of the road was the gateway, grand and imposing.

It was as unwelcoming as it was before.

There were guards standing on both sides of the gate who opened the side door for him as he approached.

They stared at him in silence. Silence that he was thankful for.

Another handful of guards line the outside door.

He could feel the stare as he left. He ignored it.

His body was still aching as he continued his travel on the road, one much abused than the estate's path.

People were walking sparsely, keeping to themselves or speaking softly to their companions.

The journey was peaceful given the wealthy area.

He followed the route he once took, out the city and into the wild. Then he veered off into the forest, mindful to keep the road directly behind him.

He was kicked down the staircase for his effort of finding that man.

He remembered roaming around with no direction before he was recruited by his later-turn-sworn-brother.

He didn't want to see that man either.

Now, he's tucked under a tree somewhere in the forest, a little distance away from the road, far enough to have privacy but not too far as to lose his way to civilization.

He checked his belongings. In his parcel that he took down from his shoulders, he had a few pairs of robes and trousers, some underthings, some accessories he kept as momento for his mother, and some money.

He lamented the poverty he was facing all over again.

His body was empty.

There was not a shred of cultivation existing in his body.

He groaned again, this time for his weakness.

It's truly hard to go back from luxury to frugality.

He sat purposely, spine straight and shoulders pulled back. He breathed in the air and breathed out.

The air smell fresh. He could also smell the vegetation and the soils. The buzzing of insects and the chirping of birds filled his ears.

He breathed in the Qi.

Breathed out.

He breathed in the Qi.

Breathed out.

He breathed-

He couldn't sense a single damn thing!

Where's the Qi, damnit?!

He didn't remember sensing Qi being so hard the first time he did it.

Huffing, he stood up, shouldering his parcel.

He could practice sensing Qi while walking but there was something that he absolutely had to do immediately.

He bought a pork-stuffed flat bread from a hawker, the taste nostalgic.

He boarded a boat and watched the dark water as the boat carved through the river, braches hanging down from the riverbanks.

He hunted a boar when he passed a mountainous area with the meagre Qi he finally, finally collected and sold it to a butcher in a small village.

He studiously watched a story teller narrating his tale in a restaurant.

Every place he went through, a veil seemed to lift as he reminisced his past. Of the night tucked in the closet, hidden away; the emptiness of being left alone in a world that has no sympathy for the likes of him; of his rise; of his fall; of his success and his failure.

The closer he got, he colder his chest felt.

He arrived at the town as the dusk hanged on the horizon. A bit later and the gate would have closed, and he would have to stay outside in the wilderness.

He definitely did not miss that one.

He found himself slipping behind the brothel he grew up in. Standing by the backdoor, he knocked a few times.

A short time passed before the door open a crack.

"Who is it?"

It was a familiar voice.

The last time he saw her, it was a reckoning.

Now, he smiled at the woman that he could call half his mother.

"Sisi, did I disturb you?"

"What nonsense. Come in quick."

Sisi ushered him to her room, making a quick tour to the storeroom to get a box of herb, before settling him behind a low desk.

The room was dimly lit with several candles around the corner and one on the desk. A shelf took half the wall, filled with documents pertaining the business.

Some of them were written by him.

She poured a cup of tea for him. It was a blend he was familiar with.

"I thought you went to find your father? Why are you back here?"

Sisi unboxed the herbs, fetched the mortar and pestle from the bottom of the shelf, and started grinding a batch. She added water to make paste, grinded some more, before scooping it into a bowl.

He took over the job when she started on the second batch.

It was a healing salve meant for external injuries, very commonly needed in places like the brothel.

Silence descended as her question went unanswered. Only the sound of the pounding mortar filled the room.

"I want to visit my mother's grave. I'll be hone by tomorrow," he finally said, not looking up.

Sisi scowled. "You can stay here. It's not like I'm kicking you out. You can help with the account again. It's a headache."

He shook his head.

"There's something I need to do. I can visit you time to time, but I can't stay here."

"Where would you go? Do you even have money?"

He took a fistful of coins out of his pocket and dropped them on the desk. "For tonight. And for everything."

The folds on Sisi's forehead grew severe. "The business is thriving. Keep it."

Then he fetched water to take a bath, changed to clean clothes, and crawled into the bed.

It was a tiny thing. Creaky at the feet and the bed was an old thing filled with dried hay.

At least it was not the wilderness.

He thought he would stay up all night from the sudden travel and discomfort, but fatigue pulled him under before he knew it.

Waking up early out of habit, he slipped out to buy breakfast before returning and greeting the women trapped in the brothel. He distributed the warm meat buns to each.

The morning was a whirlwind of greetings. Seeing familiar faces he haven't seen for so long, a desolate space carved into his chest.

He took a bath and bid Sisi farewell, before leaving swiftly.

His mother's grave was not far from the population but not easy to reach either. He hiked up the mountain near the town, checking the marks he left, and found himself looking at the wooden tombstone.

Meng Shi.

But for Meng Yao, there was a lifetime between their last meeting.

He pulled out the incense sticks he bought and lit them up. White smoke drifted up in the air.

His Adam's apple bobbed and his lips opened and closed.

In the end, he didn't say anything. He squatted there, staring at the tombstone, hazy across the smoke.

Why couldn't he have return when she was still alive?

The breeze swept across and lifted his hair. The birds flew among the branches, their chirping filled the air. A dragonfly rested on his shoulder before taking off again.

The mountains become his most frequented place as he practiced his fledging cultivation, breathing in more Qi as his body allowed.

He hunted wild animals and sold them for spending more.

One day, he slipped into an aley.

He had kept his eyes around and noticed there were a couple of beggar kids loitering the area.

The alley was narrow and the buildings on both side were tall enough to block the sunlight entirely, casting heavy shadow on the straight path. It ranked of filth. Trash piled up on both side of the alley, murky water pooling.

The kids were curled by a rotting wooden barrel. They were disheveled, their clothes mere rags, and they were so skinny it was evident they had been hungry for some time.

They tucked even tighter into their own pity cuddle. Bruises covered the their skin. Still, their stares were glaring, daring him to touch them.

He stared down at them, scrutinizing their piss poor condition.

"Want to work for me, kids? I'll give you something to eat."

Their parents had passed away due to an accident and their remaining relatives kicked them out to reduce the burden on the household.

They were now ravenously tearing into the pheasant he roasted over the fire.

Two weeks had passed since he took them in and they were no longer as skittish.

He let them finish their meals while he pondered the information they brought him.

That was the purpose he recruited the two child beggars to work for him: information gathering. They merely had to walk around the city, across the markets, and slip into narrow alleys, to eavesdrop on the conversation playing around them and bring it to him.

One day, he would teach them the way to scale wall and sneak into houses like a phantom thief.

As for now, the information they brought were barely any good. They passed everything to him, useful and useless, and he had to do the job of filtering through them to find the crucial details.

Grains had been moving in large batches across the cities. Words on the street was people had been disappearing more frequently too.

He woke up disoriented. The world seemed to blur before coming to a focus, then blurred again.

He shook his head. It made it worse.

Pain pounded his head and body, mostly pronounced on his abdomen. He groaned as he tried to sit up, the rough surface pressing against his palms.

As he sat back to gather himself, the surrounding came together in his view.

A grand staircase reaching up, a pavilion poking the heaven, and he was the insignificant being at the foot of their mercy.

He blinked.

That was a familiar sight.

Oh. It was a familiar place. He never expected to be there again.

He was not supposed to be there.

His mind went blank before he rose to his feet.

He needed to get out of there. That was the first priority.

Leaving the grand staircase and the people guarding it, along with the celebration up above in the pavilion, he limped his way out of the establishment.

Thick stone slabs lined the broad pathway. On either side, tall wall rose up, shielding the property from outsiders' eyes. At the end of the road was the gateway, grand and imposing.

It was as unwelcoming as it was before.

There were guards standing on both sides of the gate who opened the side door for him as he approached.

They stared at him in silence. Silence that he was thankful for.

Another handful of guards line the outside door.

He could feel the stare as he left. He ignored it.

His body was still aching as he continued his travel on the road, one much abused than the estate's path.

People were walking sparsely, keeping to themselves or speaking softly to their companions.

The journey was peaceful given the wealthy area.

He followed the route he once took, out the city and into the wild. Then he veered off into the forest, mindful to keep the road directly behind him.

He was kicked down the staircase for his effort of finding that man.

He remembered roaming around with no direction before he was recruited by his later-turn-sworn-brother.

He didn't want to see that man either.

Now, he's tucked under a tree somewhere in the forest, a little distance away from the road, far enough to have privacy but not too far as to lose his way to civilization.

He checked his belongings. In his parcel that he took down from his shoulders, he had a few pairs of robes and trousers, some underthings, some accessories he kept as momento for his mother, and some money.

He lamented the poverty he was facing all over again.

His body was empty.

There was not a shred of cultivation existing in his body.

He groaned again, this time for his weakness.

It's truly hard to go back from luxury to frugality.

He sat purposely, spine straight and shoulders pulled back. He breathed in the air and breathed out.

The air smell fresh. He could also smell the vegetation and the soils. The buzzing of insects and the chirping of birds filled his ears.

He breathed in the Qi.

Breathed out.

He breathed in the Qi.

Breathed out.

He breathed-

He couldn't sense a single damn thing!

Where's the Qi, damnit?!

He didn't remember sensing Qi being so hard the first time he did it.

Huffing, he stood up, shouldering his parcel.

He could practice sensing Qi while walking but there was something that he absolutely had to do immediately.

He bought a pork-stuffed flat bread from a hawker, the taste nostalgic.

He boarded a boat and watched the dark water as the boat carved through the river, braches hanging down from the riverbanks.

He hunted a boar when he passed a mountainous area with the meagre Qi he finally, finally collected and sold it to a butcher in a small village.

He studiously watched a story teller narrating his tale in a restaurant.

Every place he went through, a veil seemed to lift as he reminisced his past. Of the night tucked in the closet, hidden away; the emptiness of being left alone in a world that has no sympathy for the likes of him; of his rise; of his fall; of his success and his failure.

The closer he got, he colder his chest felt.

He arrived at the town as the dusk hanged on the horizon. A bit later and the gate would have closed, and he would have to stay outside in the wilderness.

He definitely did not miss that one.

He found himself slipping behind the brothel he grew up in. Standing by the backdoor, he knocked a few times.

A short time passed before the door open a crack.

"Who is it?"

It was a familiar voice.

The last time he saw her, it was a reckoning.

Now, he smiled at the woman that he could call half his mother.

"Sisi, did I disturb you?"

"What nonsense. Come in quick."

Sisi ushered him to her room, making a quick tour to the storeroom to get a box of herb, before settling him behind a low desk.

The room was dimly lit with several candles around the corner and one on the desk. A shelf took half the wall, filled with documents pertaining the business.

Some of them were written by him.

She poured a cup of tea for him. It was a blend he was familiar with.

"I thought you went to find your father? Why are you back here?"

Sisi unboxed the herbs, fetched the mortar and pestle from the bottom of the shelf, and started grinding a batch. She added water to make paste, grinded some more, before scooping it into a bowl.

He took over the job when she started on the second batch.

It was a healing salve meant for external injuries, very commonly needed in places like the brothel.

Silence descended as her question went unanswered. Only the sound of the pounding mortar filled the room.

"I want to visit my mother's grave. I'll be hone by tomorrow," he finally said, not looking up.

Sisi scowled. "You can stay here. It's not like I'm kicking you out. You can help with the account again. It's a headache."

He shook his head.

"There's something I need to do. I can visit you time to time, but I can't stay here."

"Where would you go? Do you even have money?"

He took a fistful of coins out of his pocket and dropped them on the desk. "For tonight. And for everything."

The folds on Sisi's forehead grew severe. "The business is thriving. Keep it."

Then he fetched water to take a bath, changed to clean clothes, and crawled into the bed.

It was a tiny thing. Creaky at the feet and the bed was an old thing filled with dried hay.

At least it was not the wilderness.

He thought he would stay up all night from the sudden travel and discomfort, but fatigue pulled him under before he knew it.

Waking up early out of habit, he slipped out to buy breakfast before returning and greeting the women trapped in the brothel. He distributed the warm meat buns to each.

The morning was a whirlwind of greetings. Seeing familiar faces he haven't seen for so long, a desolate space carved into his chest.

He took a bath and bid Sisi farewell, before leaving swiftly.

His mother's grave was not far from the population but not easy to reach either. He hiked up the mountain near the town, checking the marks he left, and found himself looking at the wooden tombstone.

Meng Shi.

But for Meng Yao, there was a lifetime between their last meeting.

He pulled out the incense sticks he bought and lit them up. White smoke drifted up in the air.

His Adam's apple bobbed and his lips opened and closed.

In the end, he didn't say anything. He squatted there, staring at the tombstone, hazy across the smoke.

Why couldn't he have return when she was still alive?

The breeze swept across and lifted his hair. The birds flew among the branches, their chirping filled the air. A dragonfly rested on his shoulder before taking off again.

The mountains become his most frequented place as he practiced his fledging cultivation, breathing in more Qi as his body allowed.

He hunted wild animals and sold them for spending more.

One day, he slipped into an aley.

He had kept his eyes around and noticed there were a couple of beggar kids loitering the area.

The alley was narrow and the buildings on both side were tall enough to block the sunlight entirely, casting heavy shadow on the straight path. It ranked of filth. Trash piled up on both side of the alley, murky water pooling.

The kids were curled by a rotting wooden barrel. They were disheveled, their clothes mere rags, and they were so skinny it was evident they had been hungry for some time.

They tucked even tighter into their own pity cuddle. Bruises covered the their skin. Still, their stares were glaring, daring him to touch them.

He stared down at them, scrutinizing their piss poor condition.

"Want to work for me, kids? I'll give you something to eat."

He woke up disoriented. The world seemed to blur before coming to a focus, then blurred again.

He shook his head. It made it worse.

Pain pounded his head and body, mostly pronounced on his abdomen. He groaned as he tried to sit up, the rough surface pressing against his palms.

As he sat back to gather himself, the surrounding came together in his view.

A grand staircase reaching up, a pavilion poking the heaven, and he was the insignificant being at the foot of their mercy.

He blinked.

That was a familiar sight.

Oh. It was a familiar place. He never expected to be there again.

He was not supposed to be there.

His mind went blank before he rose to his feet.

He needed to get out of there. That was the first priority.

Leaving the grand staircase and the people guarding it, along with the celebration up above in the pavilion, he limped his way out of the establishment.

Thick stone slabs lined the broad pathway. On either side, tall wall rose up, shielding the property from outsiders' eyes. At the end of the road was the gateway, grand and imposing.

It was as unwelcoming as it was before.

There were guards standing on both sides of the gate who opened the side door for him as he approached.

They stared at him in silence. Silence that he was thankful for.

Another handful of guards line the outside door.

He could feel the stare as he left. He ignored it.

His body was still aching as he continued his travel on the road, one much abused than the estate's path.

People were walking sparsely, keeping to themselves or speaking softly to their companions.

The journey was peaceful given the wealthy area.

He followed the route he once took, out the city and into the wild. Then he veered off into the forest, mindful to keep the road directly behind him.

He was kicked down the staircase for his effort of finding that man.

He remembered roaming around with no direction before he was recruited by his later-turn-sworn-brother.

He didn't want to see that man either.

Now, he's tucked under a tree somewhere in the forest, a little distance away from the road, far enough to have privacy but not too far as to lose his way to civilization.

He checked his belongings. In his parcel that he took down from his shoulders, he had a few pairs of robes and trousers, some underthings, some accessories he kept as momento for his mother, and some money.

He lamented the poverty he was facing all over again.

His body was empty.

There was not a shred of cultivation existing in his body.

He groaned again, this time for his weakness.

It's truly hard to go back from luxury to frugality.

He sat purposely, spine straight and shoulders pulled back. He breathed in the air and breathed out.

The air smell fresh. He could also smell the vegetation and the soils. The buzzing of insects and the chirping of birds filled his ears.

He breathed in the Qi.

Breathed out.

He breathed in the Qi.

Breathed out.

He breathed-

He couldn't sense a single damn thing!

Where's the Qi, damnit?!

He didn't remember sensing Qi being so hard the first time he did it.

Huffing, he stood up, shouldering his parcel.

He could practice sensing Qi while walking but there was something that he absolutely had to do immediately.

He bought a pork-stuffed flat bread from a hawker, the taste nostalgic.

He boarded a boat and watched the dark water as the boat carved through the river, braches hanging down from the riverbanks.

He hunted a boar when he passed a mountainous area with the meagre Qi he finally, finally collected and sold it to a butcher in a small village.

He studiously watched a story teller narrating his tale in a restaurant.

Every place he went through, a veil seemed to lift as he reminisced his past. Of the night tucked in the closet, hidden away; the emptiness of being left alone in a world that has no sympathy for the likes of him; of his rise; of his fall; of his success and his failure.

The closer he got, he colder his chest felt.

He arrived at the town as the dusk hanged on the horizon. A bit later and the gate would have closed, and he would have to stay outside in the wilderness.

He definitely did not miss that one.

He found himself slipping behind the brothel he grew up in. Standing by the backdoor, he knocked a few times.

A short time passed before the door open a crack.

"Who is it?"

It was a familiar voice.

The last time he saw her, it was a reckoning.

Now, he smiled at the woman that he could call half his mother.

"Sisi, did I disturb you?"

"What nonsense. Come in quick."

Sisi ushered him to her room, making a quick tour to the storeroom to get a box of herb, before settling him behind a low desk.

The room was dimly lit with several candles around the corner and one on the desk. A shelf took half the wall, filled with documents pertaining the business.

Some of them were written by him.

She poured a cup of tea for him. It was a blend he was familiar with.

"I thought you went to find your father? Why are you back here?"

Sisi unboxed the herbs, fetched the mortar and pestle from the bottom of the shelf, and started grinding a batch. She added water to make paste, grinded some more, before scooping it into a bowl.

He took over the job when she started on the second batch.

It was a healing salve meant for external injuries, very commonly needed in places like the brothel.

Silence descended as her question went unanswered. Only the sound of the pounding mortar filled the room.

"I want to visit my mother's grave. I'll be hone by tomorrow," he finally said, not looking up.

Sisi scowled. "You can stay here. It's not like I'm kicking you out. You can help with the account again. It's a headache."

He shook his head.

"There's something I need to do. I can visit you time to time, but I can't stay here."

"Where would you go? Do you even have money?"

He took a fistful of coins out of his pocket and dropped them on the desk. "For tonight. And for everything."

The folds on Sisi's forehead grew severe. "The business is thriving. Keep it."

Then he fetched water to take a bath, changed to clean clothes, and crawled into the bed.

It was a tiny thing. Creaky at the feet and the bed was an old thing filled with dried hay.

At least it was not the wilderness.

He thought he would stay up all night from the sudden travel and discomfort, but fatigue pulled him under before he knew it.

Waking up early out of habit, he slipped out to buy breakfast before returning and greeting the women trapped in the brothel. He distributed the warm meat buns to each.

The morning was a whirlwind of greetings. Seeing familiar faces he haven't seen for so long, a desolate space carved into his chest.

He took a bath and bid Sisi farewell, before leaving swiftly.

His mother's grave was not far from the population but not easy to reach either. He hiked up the mountain near the town, checking the marks he left, and found himself looking at the wooden tombstone.

Meng Shi.

But for Meng Yao, there was a lifetime between their last meeting.

He pulled out the incense sticks he bought and lit them up. White smoke drifted up in the air.

His Adam's apple bobbed and his lips opened and closed.

In the end, he didn't say anything. He squatted there, staring at the tombstone, hazy across the smoke.

Why couldn't he have return when she was still alive?

The breeze swept across and lifted his hair. The birds flew among the branches, their chirping filled the air. A dragonfly rested on his shoulder before taking off again.

He woke up disoriented. The world seemed to blur before coming to a focus, then blurred again.

He shook his head. It made it worse.

Pain pounded his head and body, mostly pronounced on his abdomen. He groaned as he tried to sit up, the rough surface pressing against his palms.

As he sat back to gather himself, the surrounding came together in his view.

A grand staircase reaching up, a pavilion poking the heaven, and he was the insignificant being at the foot of their mercy.

He blinked.

That was a familiar sight.

Oh. It was a familiar place. He never expected to be there again.

He was not supposed to be there.

His mind went blank before he rose to his feet.

He needed to get out of there. That was the first priority.

Leaving the grand staircase and the people guarding it, along with the celebration up above in the pavilion, he limped his way out of the establishment.

Thick stone slabs lined the broad pathway. On either side, tall wall rose up, shielding the property from outsiders' eyes. At the end of the road was the gateway, grand and imposing.

It was as unwelcoming as it was before.

There were guards standing on both sides of the gate who opened the side door for him as he approached.

They stared at him in silence. Silence that he was thankful for.

Another handful of guards line the outside door.

He could feel the stare as he left. He ignored it.

His body was still aching as he continued his travel on the road, one much abused than the estate's path.

People were walking sparsely, keeping to themselves or speaking softly to their companions.

The journey was peaceful given the wealthy area.

He followed the route he once took, out the city and into the wild. Then he veered off into the forest, mindful to keep the road directly behind him.

He was kicked down the staircase for his effort of finding that man.

He remembered roaming around with no direction before he was recruited by his later-turn-sworn-brother.

He didn't want to see that man either.

Now, he's tucked under a tree somewhere in the forest, a little distance away from the road, far enough to have privacy but not too far as to lose his way to civilization.

He checked his belongings. In his parcel that he took down from his shoulders, he had a few pairs of robes and trousers, some underthings, some accessories he kept as momento for his mother, and some money.

He lamented the poverty he was facing all over again.

His body was empty.

There was not a shred of cultivation existing in his body.

He groaned again, this time for his weakness.

It's truly hard to go back from luxury to frugality.

He sat purposely, spine straight and shoulders pulled back. He breathed in the air and breathed out.

The air smell fresh. He could also smell the vegetation and the soils. The buzzing of insects and the chirping of birds filled his ears.

He breathed in the Qi.

Breathed out.

He breathed in the Qi.

Breathed out.

He breathed-

He couldn't sense a single damn thing!

Where's the Qi, damnit?!

He didn't remember sensing Qi being so hard the first time he did it.

Huffing, he stood up, shouldering his parcel.

He could practice sensing Qi while walking but there was something that he absolutely had to do immediately.

He bought a pork-stuffed flat bread from a hawker, the taste nostalgic.

He boarded a boat and watched the dark water as the boat carved through the river, braches hanging down from the riverbanks.

He hunted a boar when he passed a mountainous area with the meagre Qi he finally, finally collected and sold it to a butcher in a small village.

He studiously watched a story teller narrating his tale in a restaurant.

Every place he went through, a veil seemed to lift as he reminisced his past. Of the night tucked in the closet, hidden away; the emptiness of being left alone in a world that has no sympathy for the likes of him; of his rise; of his fall; of his success and his failure.

The closer he got, he colder his chest felt.

He arrived at the town as the dusk hanged on the horizon. A bit later and the gate would have closed, and he would have to stay outside in the wilderness.

He definitely did not miss that one.

He found himself slipping behind the brothel he grew up in. Standing by the backdoor, he knocked a few times.

A short time passed before the door open a crack.

"Who is it?"

It was a familiar voice.

The last time he saw her, it was a reckoning.

Now, he smiled at the woman that he could call half his mother.

"Sisi, did I disturb you?"

"What nonsense. Come in quick."

Sisi ushered him to her room, making a quick tour to the storeroom to get a box of herb, before settling him behind a low desk.

The room was dimly lit with several candles around the corner and one on the desk. A shelf took half the wall, filled with documents pertaining the business.

Some of them were written by him.

She poured a cup of tea for him. It was a blend he was familiar with.

"I thought you went to find your father? Why are you back here?"

Sisi unboxed the herbs, fetched the mortar and pestle from the bottom of the shelf, and started grinding a batch. She added water to make paste, grinded some more, before scooping it into a bowl.

He took over the job when she started on the second batch.

It was a healing salve meant for external injuries, very commonly needed in places like the brothel.

Silence descended as her question went unanswered. Only the sound of the pounding mortar filled the room.

"I want to visit my mother's grave. I'll be hone by tomorrow," he finally said, not looking up.

Sisi scowled. "You can stay here. It's not like I'm kicking you out. You can help with the account again. It's a headache."

He shook his head.

"There's something I need to do. I can visit you time to time, but I can't stay here."

"Where would you go? Do you even have money?"

He took a fistful of coins out of his pocket and dropped them on the desk. "For tonight. And for everything."

The folds on Sisi's forehead grew severe. "The business is thriving. Keep it."

Then he fetched water to take a bath, changed to clean clothes, and crawled into the bed.

It was a tiny thing. Creaky at the feet and the bed was an old thing filled with dried hay.

At least it was not the wilderness.

He thought he would stay up all night from the sudden travel and discomfort, but fatigue pulled him under before he knew it.

Waking up early out of habit, he slipped out to buy breakfast before returning and greeting the women trapped in the brothel. He distributed the warm meat buns to each.

The morning was a whirlwind of greetings. Seeing familiar faces he haven't seen for so long, a desolate space carved into his chest.

He took a bath and bid Sisi farewell, before leaving swiftly.

His mother's grave was not far from the population but not easy to reach either. He hiked up the mountain near the town, checking the marks he left, and found himself looking at the wooden tombstone.

Meng Shi.