𝑶𝒏𝒆𝒐𝒇𝑺𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒌𝒔𝒌𝒊𝒅𝒔

𔘓 thunderbolts special-

die son (NEW AVENGERS) 🌼💛

𔘓 peter parker~

always ☕🌼💛

impossible ☕💛

spider bite 🌼💛

without you ☕💛

a girl 🌼🩷

coffee? 🌼💛

say no ☕🌼

too far 🌼💛

win you over 🌼💛🩷

𔘓 bucky barnes~

don't say that ☕🩷

don't say that (part 2) ☕🩷

don't say that (part 3) ☕🩷

stay a little longer 🌼🩷

picnic date 🌼🩷

this has to be perfect 🌼🩷

i can teach you 🌼🩷

saturn 🌼🩷

brilliant 🌼🩷

so high school 🌼🩷

so high school (part 2) 🌼🩷

so high school (part 3) 🌼🩷

i know you ☕🩷

i lost you (part 1) ☕🩷

i lost you (part 2) ☕🩷

cute 🌼🩷

inspiration 🌼🩷

fly me to the moon 🌼🩷

girl back home 🌼🩷

someone else ☕🩷

delacroix ☕🩷

monstrosity 🌼🩷

redemption ☕🩷

NEW SERIES↓

i chose you 🌼☕🩷

i told her 🌼🩷

you knew it 🌼☕🩷

𔘓 steve rogers~

freedom 🌼☕

𔘓 steven grant~

tissues 🌼🩷

plus...he's adorable 🌼🩷

plus...he's adorable (part 2) 🌼🩷

you'll never lose me 🌼🩷

don't leave ☕🩷

london boy 🌼🩷

easier 🌼🩷

𔘓 loki laufeyson~

a mistake ☕🩷

rose between your fingers ☕🩷

𔘓 matt murdock~

false god ☕🩷

𔘓 natasha romanoff~

your braids like a pattern 🌼🩷🏳️‍🌈

was it love? 🌼☕🩷🏳️‍🌈 (PEGGYNAT)

right now ☕🩷🏳️‍🌈

𔘓 carol danvers~

do you like babies? 🌼🩷🏳️‍🌈

it's not your fault ☕🩷 🏳️‍🌈

learn a thing or two 🌼🩷🏳️‍🌈

headlines🌼🩷🏳️‍🌈

her world 🌼🩷🏳️‍🌈

pulling her under🩷🏳️‍🌈 (VALCAROL)

𔘓 wanda maximoff~

vulnerable 🌼🩷🏳️‍🌈

piercing blade ☕🩷🏳️‍🌈

𔘓 michelle jones~

the real thing 🌼🩷🏳️‍🌈

wish ☕🩷🏳️‍🌈

𔘓 yelena belova~

little james🌼🩷🏳️‍🌈

hair holds memories🌼🩷🏳️‍🌈

𔘓 kate bishop~

you never lost me ☕🩷🏳️‍🌈

★ X-MEN ★

so damn comfy (remy lebeau) 🌼🩷

★ CAST FICS ★

no clue (florence pugh) 🩷🌼🏳️‍🌈

★ HAILEE STEINFELD CHARACTERS★

filthy -charlie watson (bumblebee) 🌼🩷🏳️‍🌈

love letters, roses, and lockets 🌼🩷🏳️‍🌈 EMILYSUE (dickinson)

★ DC ★

𔘓 bruce wayne~

i knew you were trouble- bruce wayne 🩷

𔘓 clark kent~

big baby- clark kent 🩷🌼

go to sleep- clark kent ☕🩷

charming- clark kent 🩷🌼

professional- clark kent 🩷🌼

𔘓 dick grayson~

memories 🩷🌼

knight in shining armor 🩷🌼

random

fresh out the slammer- steve randle (the outsiders) 🩷

wanna switch?- mike lance (magic mike) 🩷🌼

different-daniel le domas (ready or not) 🩷🌼

you laughed at his antics, shoving and demanding he put you back down.

though you protested, there was nowhere you'd rather be than in his arms. you'd known daniel since you both were kids. you went to the same private school, a private school you were only able to go attend because your distant aunt owed your parents a favor, and you knew from the moment he gave you his seat at lunch that he wasn't like the other selfish rich boys.

there was a depth to daniel that was hard to find in other people who'd grown up getting everything handed to them.

as if he'd seen the world for what it really was. as if he'd been broken from the beginning.

you'd come to learn much later on, after years of him pushing you away and claiming he felt nothing for you out of fear, that daniel had witnessed evil. the kind that no child should ever have to.

not only that, but he was raised by it. forced into a ritual that made him choose between his family and another human life. if it was truly up to him, he'd choose to be the sacrifice every time. but it never was.

and that darkness sat in his chest. grew with him. the only thing that kept it buried was the booze. until...he found you again. from then on, he'd always told you that you'd made him a new man.

so he made a promise to you. one that he intended to keep. that neither life nor death could separate the two of you...and that he would never marry you.

it was a promise you were grateful for. it meant the two of you could live your lives. together. away from the bullshit. and sure, it pissed his father off and had nearly gotten him cut off several times, but his father never really had that authority.

besides, what else could daniel possibly need when you were his treasure?

you pulled him closer by the tie as he set you back on your feet. sure, the apartment you were living in was shitty. there was mold in the walls and a strange smell coming from the faucets. you weren't going to pretend like it was some perfect paradise.

before he knew it, he couldn't form a coherent sentence. he was falling asleep.

no matter how hard he tried to keep his eyes from rolling back and listen to you talk about your day, everything just seemed to get drowned out by the slow rise and fall of your chest.

"rem?"

"remy?" you repeated.

he hummed, pretending like he simply hadn't heard you.

"do you think it's a good idea?" you asked.

the cajun was completely delirious and had no idea what you were talking about, yet still responded with, "yeah, chere."

you hadn't caught on yet, "i don't know. i guess i'm just worried because-"

you paused as you heard a loud noise that vibrated off your chest.

you craned your neck, looking down to find your boyfriend snoring.

"remy!" you said with mock annoyance. you couldn't possibly be upset with him.

he woke up immediately, blinking in confusion, "yeah?"

"did you hear anything i said?" you said as you gave him a look, already knowing the answer.

"sure, chere. something about, uh..." he paused before groaning and burying his face into you. "'m sorry sweetheart, it's jus been a long day."

you give him a sympathetic smile as you bring your thumb up to brush his cheek.

"and it doesn' help that you're so damn comfy," he flattered.

you shook your head, unable to hide the blush that crept across your cheeks. "you should've just said told me you were tired," you scolded.

remy gripped onto your sweater with a groan, "i know. but i love listenin' to your voice."

"tell me again. i'll stay awake this time," he promises, but the lazy tone of his voice says otherwise.

you continue to run your fingers through his hair affectionately, smirking at the way he hums.

you give in anyway, "alright."

and as you suspected, within the first five sentences he was dead weight.

but you didn't wake him or dare move. he was finally getting his much needed rest.

besides, you knew he'd be right there in the morning begging you to tell him all over again.

you'd reach for something of value. ask a question that was just a little too personal, and suddenly he's shutting down. sitting up and mumbling, "i've got an early morning," as if you weren't wearing his shirt.

and you would leave, of course. in a huff of frustration, because you'd truly never felt more stupid. stupid for thinking that this could be more than just unbridled lust.

see, the thing about friends with benefits when you're hardly even friends is the lack of a connection. of knowing someone truly. and maybe it was different for other people, but you hated fucking without emotion.

but with matt... there was emotion. even when he tried to deny it, even when you tried to push it down. even though neither of you knew how to process it.

and you thought you'd finally figured it out. for a split second. a kiss that was just a bit different than the desperate frivolous ones the two of you always shared.

which is why it crushed you when he pulled away, breathless but void of any real reaction.

you hadn't seen him since. he hadn't texted or called in weeks, and you were just about to decide to move on when he asked you to meet him in the middle of the night.

of course, you assumed it was for the usual rendezvous. but then, he sent you the address of a church. which was...concerning.

regardless, you were curious. okay, maybe you were also desperate to see his face again. chiseled cheek bones, pouty lips, vacant brown eyes.

so there you were, walking through the aisle of the sanctuary for the first time since you were forced to come as a kid.

a beautiful mosaic of christ stood at the front, stretching out across the entire wall just behind the altar.

and in the front row of the pews, there was a silhouette you couldn't forget if you tried.

you made your way over to him, whispering his name as if you weren't the only two in the building.

and of course, he didn't need you to let him know you were here, he heard your heels clacking softly against the cobblestone steps just outside.

"please. have a seat," he waved towards the spot beside him, his other hand gripping his knee like a vice.

you did, partially because you wanted to see where this was going and partially because your legs were aching from walking six blocks.

but as you sat, he stayed silent. the minute it took him to start speaking felt like five.

"this is weird, right? you're probably confused," he sighed.

you looked down at the ground, "well, i was a little surprised when you texted to meet up. in a church, no less."

he let out a breathy laugh, "yeah."

but it wasn't funny.

"i felt like i owed you something. an explanation maybe. because i was giving mixed signals, and i get it...if you hate me," he started.

you listened intently. of course you didn't hate him. you weren't sure you ever could.

"but i'm...not the kind of man you think i am. i'm not even the kind of man you deserve," he said, letting his head fall.

"and no matter how much I'm starting to...feel for you..." he paused, gathering his words. "i can't disappoint you by pretending i'm anything more than the monster that lives in me."

your brows pinched together and you snaked your fingers into his, "matt, you're not a monster."

he squeezed, "but that's the thing. i am. i try to be a good person. to justify the mistakes. make up for the past."

"but it's a part of me. and i don't want that part of me to find its way out. i don't want- i can't hurt you," he finished.

you looked around the gilded building, the structures that looked like they'd stood tall for centuries. the peaceful nature of it all despite the anxiousness it brought you from years of religious trauma.

"you're not the only one who has demons, matt. you can't get rid of your darkness anymore than you can take away my own. and it's not your fault..." you stopped to make sure he was listening. really listening.

"i didn't have an easy childhood. there were things i had to suffer that no child ever should. things that left me broken."

you subconsciously turned towards him a bit more, "if there's one thing i've learned it's that, once something is broken like that... you can't fix it. you can clean up the mess. you can throw away the shards so you don't end up cutting yourself on them, but you never get that back."

"i don't care what kind of monster you think you are, matt. i want you. all of you. even if i have to help you clean up the pieces," and you could tell he heard the strangled pain in your voice by the way that he pressed a tender kiss to your forehead. his hand was wrapped around the back of your head, holding you impossibly close.

"i'm sorry that you ever had to feel broken," he whispered.

you let your forehead fall against his, "what else are you sorry for?"

he arched a brow, eyes trained in front of him, on nothing at all.

"not talking about the unspoken thing between us sooner?" matt asked.

you couldn't stop the giggle that pushed past your lips, "why was that a question?"

he shook his head, "i don't know. i'm an idiot."

you took the opportunity to rest your head on his firm shoulder, fingers still intertwined, "well we can't all have genius boyfriends."

he froze, muscles stiffening. you weren't even aware it was possible for him to feel even more like a rock.

you instantly regretted letting it slip. too soon. too much.

your mind already ran through every scenario, every response, and had begun planning the fastest track to get over a breakup with a boy you never technically dated.

"boyfriend," he said with a smirk, pulling you from your crazy train.

you buried your face in your hands, "i'm sorry! it slipped."

matt held both of your hands in his, "i like it."

you began to think that maybe all that stuff that was shoved down your throat as a kid wasn't entirely wrong. maybe love was real. just maybe, so was fate.

but sometimes it was just the two of you.

no assignments. no grudges. just two smitten women cuddled up in their poorly lit apartment.

today was one of those days. she'd been going through a box of pictures on the floor of your living room as you affectionately brushed her hair out of her face with your fingers.

she held one for a moment longer than the others. a photo of her and natasha, from the last time she'd even spoken to her sister.

she'd been on the run, dyed her naturally cherry red hair blonde and cut it to her chin.

the two of them were keeping a low profile at an outdoor bar in a town nobody knew the name of. catching up.

so they sat, sharing beers like always and joking about how fucked up their lives were. it was around that time that yelena had started carrying a little digital camera for moments like that.

"you know, if you ever need help with anything," yelena had told her sister. but of course she didn't need help. she was natasha romanoff. she'd figure it out the same way she always did. alone.

she told you it was because her mother, melina, had kept a scrapbook when she was a kid. when she was still innocent and oblivious to the world around her. to the pain.

and after everything had fallen apart, she never saw that scrapbook again. you liked to think her pictures made her feel that innocence again. that blissful ignorance.

maybe they even helped her pretend like life was a collection of little happy moments, rather than soul shocking grief.

you felt her back deflate against your legs as she sighed, setting the photo down and looking up at you. you smiled at the sight of her, pretty green eyes, long lashes and blonde tendrils framing her face.

you brushed your thumb against her cheekbone, "what's up, pretty girl?" she gave you a look, one that told you this was a serious conversation, "can you do something for me?"

your brows furrowed together as you prepared yourself, nervous for what she was going to say next.

"can you cut my hair?" she asked like a kid asking their parent for something at the store, positive they were going to say no.

you let out a relieved chuckle, "of course, sweetheart."

she smiled, gazing at you with appreciation before jumping up to go find everything you needed. you watched her walk away for a moment with a smile on your face, then stood up to follow after her.

the two of you ended up in your bathroom, hair ties and scissors littering the counter. you stood behind her, combing through her long tangles.

"how short were you thinking?" you ask. you hadn't expected her to reach in her pocket and pull out the photo of natasha from earlier.

the sight brought tears to your eyes, and because you knew your voice would crack if you spoke, you placed a kiss on her shoulder and got to work.

it took a few youtube videos and hours of perfecting and maybe you'd cut it a bit shorter than nat's was, but it would grow and as you finished up yelena looked into the mirror with tears in her eyes.

"what's wrong? i'm sorry, i should've warned you that i'm not a hairdresser," you said in a frenzied panic.

she laughed as warm tears ran down her cheeks, face beaming with joy. yelena turned around to look into your eyes and held your face in her hands, "i love it. i love you."

she rested her forehead against yours, whispering thank yous as your hands made their way into her newly short hair.

it was unfamiliar and you would miss braiding it before bed at night, but it was still soft, still golden, still...yelena.

"do you like it?" she asked, almost as if she was reading your mind. you laughed, bewildered by the fact that even yelena belova could be worried about trivial things.

"it's not funny! it's a serious question," she said, her adorable russian accent failing to help her case.

you shook your head. "you're right! it's not funny, and i think...you look pretty hot," you said with a smirk.

"oh really, детка?" she pulled you closer somehow. your brain short circuited and you nearly didn't register her next words.

"hot enough to get a new girlfriend?" she asked slyly.

nearly.

"lena! i just cut your hair for you," you gasp playfully. "that's practically a marriage proposal."

her face contorted in disbelief, "it definitely is not!"

you gave her a look but she ignored you, deciding to search for the broom to start sweeping up the pile of hair on your bathroom floor.

"and i will be expecting a proper marriage proposal when the time comes," she said sneakily the moment she was down the hall and out of sight.

with a silver ring dangling from his ear and smudged black liner stood loki, the mischievous. the daring. the most ruthless pirate.

someone she respected enough to be in her crew, on her ship, but never fully trusted.

"i trust we're headed in the right direction?" captain valkyrie expected rather than asked.

loki flashed her a devilish grin, "perhaps. or i may simply be leading you into my carefully curated trap where i throw you all overboard and leave you for dead."

she took a swig of the drink, savoring the burn it left as it went down, "wouldn't be much of a trap if you just told me your entire plan, now would it?"

he laughed, something awful and conniving, "that's where you're wrong. the best traps are the ones you see coming, but can't find your way out of."

she glared at him sideways, "can you find your way out of the edge of my sword?"

loki gripped his heart with one of his steering hands, "you wound me, captain."

she mocked him in turn with a smirk, "not yet i don't."

just then the ship rocked forward. valkyrie had to grip onto one of the posts to keep from getting thrown off deck.

the sky that had been clear mere seconds ago now cracked with thunder.

"are we on course?" she shouted, voice gravely.

loki was glaring into the clouds, defiant of the death it threatened to the entire crew. "headed right into siren's swell." he yelled back.

she quickly took the rolled up map out of the loop on her belt and unfolded it, still being rocked back and forth by the increasingly raging waves.

her eyes darted frantically all over the map until she found the words 'siren's swell'.

the spot had a red line marked right through it, along with pictures of jagged rocks and a deadly looking tail with razor sharp edges inked into the paper.

cold dread washed over her as she realized she had no idea what to expect.

"hey, captain. i don't mean to overstep, but i have reason to believe we're heading into dangerous territory." korg said, coming out of nowhere and offering his oh-so obvious observation.

val strained, fighting the urge to respond with something sarcastic.

as if on cue, the entire ship jolted and cracked as if it hit something in the water.

"shit!" she cursed as she rushed to the edge of the boat and searched the black depths below her.

for a split second she could've sworn she saw...well, she wasn't really sure.

something reflective. iridescent. like scales.

which was alarming because any creature that could survive in these condition wasn't the kind she wanted to encounter.

she hurried back over to loki, "how fast can you get us out of this?"

he pulled out a telescope, stretching it out and peering past the fog, "it's about half a mile out. even if we were able to clear the storm, there's probably significant damage to the keel. we're too far out from shore."

as captain, the woman weighed her options. her crew was family and the last thing she wanted was to risk their lives. but they'd given up so much to get this far. they couldn't turn back now. not when they were so close.

"alright. stay on track," she decided.

loki's eyebrows knit together, "did you not hear a word i just said?"

she nodded, eyes focused on the creaking boards beneath her feet, "i heard. and if you're suggesting we take a poll, I'm almost certain the waves would take us out before you got an answer."

loki laughed, something a bit more genuine than usual, "through hell or high water. aye, captain?"

she looked over at him for a moment. there was an adventurous glint in his eyes.

her own burned with tears she failed to blink back. "hell or high water," she muttered in response for what may have been the last time.

loki began steering the boat straight ahead, calling on the all-father under his breath.

the waves were rough but the crew stayed afloat. it wasn't until they were nearing the end of the disaster that the ship rocked forward again, letting out a groan.

loki had determination painted across his features.

valkyrie was helping the others, tugging at the masts.

but it was all deemed futile as a wave rolled higher and higher, crashing down over the ship.

it happened so fast, she wasn’t sure when she lost her balance or at which point she got thrown into the blue abyss.

she wasn’t sure whose strangled cry she managed to hear over the clap of thunder.

valkyrie just sank, her gold accessories weighing her down. she thrashed and kicked, swimming her way to the top.

her head bobbed above the surface long enough for her to see korg floating by on a loose plank, one arm reaching for meek.

but the current wrapped around her and dragged her back down, drowning any shred of hope she had left.

it was quiet there in those pitch-black depths. peaceful in a way that almost made her forget she was dying.

fighting became so exhausting that letting the water invade her lungs sounded like mercy.

she closed her eyes, ready to accept her fate. a gruesome one for which she was entirely to blame.

but then a blinding beam of gold shone through her eyelids. she tried reopening them, but the light flooded the darkness, so bright that a silhouette was all she could make out.

the figure slowly drifted closer, in a dreamlike way that made val question if she had already crossed over to the other side.

with each passing second she lost more oxygen, more will to live. so when the creature stopped mere inches from her face and caressed her cheek, she didn’t even flinch.

her head rolled forward as she began to lose consciousness, but just before the darkness seeped into her mind, she caught a glimpse of familiar scales.

iridescent.

realizing valkyrie was no longer breathing, the creature wrapped its arms around the captain, pulling the cold body through the waters at an unimaginable speed.

val woke up on a sandy shore, her locs spread around her head like a halo. she gasped for air, eyes snapping open as she took in the vast, endless sky above.

after turning onto her side to let water spill from her mouth, she sputtered and coughed.

her gaze then trailed to the woman hovering nearby, hair like sun-kissed sand and sparkling brown doe eyes.

valkyrie had never seen anyone more… ethereal.

as if in a trance, she reached out to tuck a stray strand of hair behind the woman’s ear.

then a sudden thought made her blush. the idea that this woman had saved her life. arms wrapped around her, lips pressed softly against her own, the woman’s breath becoming her lifeline.

the blonde looked at her with a sadness val couldn’t quite unravel.

the flop of skin against water pulled her from her curiosity. her head craned to pinpoint the source of the sound, and what she saw made her scramble back in shock.

a five-foot tail with paper-thin fins splashed against the rushing water, glittering in the sunlight.

as valkyrie stared, the pieces finally clicked into place.

“siren,” val cursed shakily, staggering to her feet.

“wait,” the blonde spoke, her voice like an angel’s echo.

and for some unspoken reason, valkyrie obeyed, compelled by the creatures allure.

"i need to know your name," the siren said with a vulnerable ache in her voice.

val stood conflicted, years of conditioning screaming at her.

where she was from, sirens were known to curse souls and enchant the innocent, luring them to their deaths.

but this woman seemed to be none of those things.

all val saw was sincerity. someone who risked everything to save her.

there was a strange magnetism between them, causing val's fingertips to twitch at her sides.

almost as if it was taking all of her willpower to not take a step closer.

"brunnhilde," she breathed, voice barely above a whisper.

the woman's pink coral lips spread into a gentle smile, one so sweet that it made val's chest tighten.

"carol," the blonde said in return, voice soft like the wind above the waves.

she reached for val's hand, fingers icy from the saltwater, before pulling her back down to her level.

valkyrie knelt before her, still completely stunned and in awe.

the mermaid placed a featherlight kiss across the pirate's ring-decorated knuckles.

valkyrie's breath hitched and she was back in the depths of the ocean.

dizzy, unmoored, and completely at the will of fate.

only it wasn't the water pulling her under.

it was carol.

but as quickly as the touch came, it vanished.

with one last longing gaze, the creature dove back into the water, golden hair glowing as she disappeared beneath the surface.

valkyrie collapsed to her knees, as if she could feel the absence of the woman like a rift between them.

all she had to show for it was the ghost of the mermaid's lingering touch against her palms, rippling beneath her skin like an unspoken spell.

she barely registered the crunch of twigs behind her.

"captain?" it was loki's voice, thick with surprise and relief.

she turned around slowly, eyes wide and glossy, brimming with tears.

realization struck her...

a siren had left her cursed after all. cursed to exist. denied a world she was allowed a glimpse into but could never be a part of.

as soon as you stepped outside it began pouring rain. just your luck. you tried calling him, but it kept going straight to voicemail.

you went back through your text messages to the day clark had sent you his address for a gift you had mailed him. nothing special.

just a new pencil sharpener. every article at the bugle was typed up and then printed, but clark preferred to do things the old fashioned way.

he'd write out all of his thoughts, scratch things out, crumble up the really poorly written papers, and then type up the fully revised version.

the only problem was, all he had was this tiny handheld sharpener that had seen hell and back. so, you bought him a new one. as a 'thank you' for supporting you and sticking up to perry when you were first starting out.

you scrolled until you found the location pin. was it rude and probably inappropriate to show up to your co-workers house in the middle of the night, unannounced? maybe.

but hopefully clark would see your intentions for what they were. to return a belonging to a friend.

it was a bit of a walk, but you seemed to be distracted the entire time. were you really just helping out? being a good coworker?

or not-so deep down, was there another reason you were making your way to his place this late?

it didn't matter.

before you knew it, you were standing at his door soaked from head to toe.

he nearly opened the door before you had a chance to knock, saying your name with surprise.

"what are you doing here?" he asked, adjusting his glasses.

you shifted from foot to foot a bit as you held the briefcase out to him, "you left this at the planet. thought you might need it."

he looked over it for a moment before taking it from you. his fingers brushed yours as he reached for it, sending a shiver through your entire body.

clark seemed to notice, then took note of how drenched you were, "did you walk here in the rain?" he asked almost rhetorically.

"yeah, but it's not that far," you said with a smile, contradicting the rosy color of your nose.

clark's dark brows pinched together, trying to understand why you would've done such a thing.

he stepped aside, letting the door swing open, "i have towels and you really should change into something...warmer."

he swallowed, noticing that your pencil skirt and blouse were now clinging to your skin from the rain.

"that's really sweet, but i should probably get home," you said with a soft smile, but his arctic blue eyes could've convinced you otherwise on their own.

"you could get hypothermia. i wouldn't be able to forgive myself," clark said.

you let yourself laugh, it always seemed easier around him, "alright then."

you walked into the apartment, following after him as he went on a hunt for towels.

by the time you'd made it to the bedroom, he'd already set one out along with a pair of his clothes.

"i don't know how well they'll fit, but i figure it's better than wet clothes," he says with his signature grin.

you brush your hair out of your face before whispering a thank you, and that's when you notice how close he is. towering over you and only a few inches away.

your heart seems to beat a little faster.

clark looks down at your chest and blushes suddenly before clearing his throat. "i should probably...sorry. the room's all yours," he mumbles awkwardly before stepping out.

as you get changed, you can't help playing the interaction in your head over and over.

clark is the sweetest man you've ever met. he's insanely talented, really intelligent, and genuinely funny. and yet, there's always something in the way.

something you can't quite see, but feel. on paper, he's perfect. but something tells you there's more to clark kent than he lets on.

now draped in his oversized t-shirt and sweatpants that you had to triple fold over, you leave the room.

he's only a few steps away, in the kitchen, pouring hot water over a blue mug.

"i wanted to make sure you had something warm before you go," he said without looking up.

you involuntarily blushed at his considerate nature, "thanks."

he handed you the mug, "careful. it's hot."

"coffee?" you asked hopefully before peeking into the ceramic cup.

he gave you an apologetic look, "tea."

you snickered at his expression before blowing on the beverage to cool it down.

clark leaned against the counter with one arm.

you tried your best to focus on the drink. to not notice the way the muscles in his biceps rippled from holding his weight. to not let your eyes linger on the veins in his forearm too long. or the way his palm was spread out over the marble-

a loud buzz interrupted, yanking you out of your thoughts.

clark raised his eyebrows, reaching for the phone in his pocket. "looks like a flash flood watch," he said quietly.

your fingers curl aroud the mug nervously.

he noticed this, looking down at you sympathetically. "hey, it's going to be okay."

"but...you should probably stay here for the night. if you're comfortable with that, of course," he stutters.

you think it over for a moment.

clark is a gentleman, so it's not like he would try anything. and besides, the rain was coming down hard. flash flood warnings don't get sent out for no reason.

sure, you worked together and this could probably affect your professional relationship if any lines were to be crossed.

so...you would just have to make sure they weren't.

which was easier said than done when he was always looking at you that way.

"you're right," you nod in agreement.

he analyzed you for a moment, as if he was making sure you weren't uncomfortable in any way.

"okay. you can have the bedroom. i'll sleep on the couch," he said politely. you finished what was left in your mug.

"thank you, clark," you said for what felt like the hundredth time tonight and made a mental note to return the favor some time.

you began handing the mug back to clark but the handle slipped through your fingers and it went plummeting towards the tile.

before it could shatter, clark was on his knees, cradling it with one hand.

your breath hitched at the sight of him down there looking back up at you.

maybe you should've apologized. or even laughed it off.

but he stood up so slowly, barely an inch from your face, and you forgot how to think at all.

"careful," he whispered, eyes flickering down to your lips.

ignoring the magnetic force between the two of you, you went your separate ways.

as you crawled into his sheets and rested your head on his pillow, you were sure that was the last you'd see of the raven haired man for the night.

until, a crack of thunder woke you from your sleep. you jolted forward, hand on your chest as your lungs heaved.

clark was already by your side, hand on your shoulder, "it's okay. just breathe. deep breaths in and then out slowly."

you tried to focus on his voice, do what he said. it wasn't easy, but after a few minutes your breathing had slowed.

he'd held onto you the whole time. "are you okay?" clark asked, sincerity in his eyes.

you nodded, "how did you-"

he blinked, trying to understand what you were asking. then it clicked, "oh. i heard you shout. you were crying."

you felt embarrassment wash over you. this didn't happen often, but when it did you'd be plagued with a dreadful feeling all day long.

how fucking perfect for it to happen the one night you choose to spend at someone else's house.

"i'm so sorry," you let your head fall against your bent knees. on the bright side, you'd forgotten what the dream was even about in the first place.

clark's gentle touch fell from your shoulder to squeeze your hand, "don't say that. it's not your fault."

"it's not your fault." his words echoed in your head.

you let your fingers brush against his, "i woke you."

he shook his head, a single curl falling against his forehead, "i wasn't asleep."

clark wasn't going to tell you it was because he'd been worried about you, listening for the slightest sniffle in case you'd caught something out in the rain.

he just gave you a once-over, double checking that you were okay, before straightening his posture, "you should get some sleep."

your heart dropped as he let go of your hand. as he began to leave, you looked out at the window behind him.

the clouds crackled with fury.

"clark," your voice came out weak.

he turned back to you without hesitation.

"do you wanna stay? maybe talk?" you asked.

clark's eyes went slightly wider and he seemed at a loss for words.

you fidgeted, "it's just, i don't think i'll be able to go back to sleep. and it's kind of awful being alone in here."

"i don't know how you do it," you laughed.

the smile he gave you reached his eyes and he sat beside you without a word.

you moved over, making sure he had enough space before leaning back against the headboard, "tell me about your latest piece."

clark began rambling on and on about news in metropolis. how big corporations were affecting small businesses and something about climate change.

you weren't really sure. at some point you began falling asleep, your head slowly sinking down onto his shoulder.

he stopped talking as he felt you curl up against him, taking a moment to admire your peaceful state.

after making sure you were fully asleep, he gently laid you down against the pillows, pulling the covers up over you.

"goodnight," he whispered before making a move to slip out of bed. but before he could, your arm was flung over his lap.

he let out a short, breathy laugh before trying again.

this time, your fingers curled around his shirt and tugged him closer.

so clark had no choice but to stay there by your side all night long, even dozed off sitting up a few times.

by morning, you'd completely forgotten where you were.

that was until you saw his face. his jaw slack, glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose as he snored quietly.

the morning glow hit his features just right and he suddenly didn't look like shy, quiet clark kent.

he looked like something carved by greeks. he looked like a god.

almost as if he could feel you staring, he blinked, slowly waking up. clark gave you a curious look, "were you watching me sleep?"

your eyebrows shot up, "what!? no, of course not. that would be weird."

he nodded slowly, "it would be weird. but, i don't mind weird."

you chewed your bottom lip nervously as your thoughts ran wild. it had only just seemed to dawn on you that you were currently at clark kent's apartment, laying in clark kent's bed, wearing clark kent's clothes.

"you talk in your sleep, ya' know?" he smirked.

you frowned, "um. no, i did not know that."

he looked at you like he knew something you didn't.

"what?? what did i say," you asked, bracing yourself for impact.

clark shook his head reassuringly, "nothing."

you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding in as he pulled off the covers and walked over to his dresser, taking a sip from a glass that you hadn't noticed before.

"and i'll make sure that you dreaming of my big, strong arms is off the record," he said smugly and casually.

his hardened exterior cracks a bit and he takes the paper plate from your hands, whispering a thank you.

you cross your arms, "don't you want to join the rest of us out on the deck?"

his gaze lingers on the donut, almost like he's studying it, "maybe in a bit."

you sigh, sitting down next to him. "you've been in here all day, steve."

he doesn't respond.

"i don't know about you, but this would be a pretty shitty way to spend my birthday," you say as you wrap your arms around your knees.

"yeah, well. shitty people deserve shitty birthdays," he says with a sadness to his voice.

you frown, taken back, "you don't actually believe you're shitty, do you? after everything you've done for-"

"everything i've done? really? what about all the things i haven't? all the people who've suffered because of the things i've done?" he snaps, startling you for a split second.

his words are sharp and cut deep but you shake your head, "stop it."

he rests his elbows on his knees, letting his hands bear the weight of his aching skull.

"steve," you place a reassuring hand on his leg, "you're not the problem. you can't be responsible for every life. every tragedy. there are forces in this world that not even you can stop. greed, selfishness, and hatred. no vibranium shield can fix that."

steve begins to feel the burn of fresh tears in his eyes.

"and they will stop at nothing. but that doesn't mean you give up or sulk. it just means that you keep fighting too. you keep speaking up for what's right. you get out there every day and show the world that empathy is not a weakness," you tell him.

"and you take it one day at a time," your hand finds his, squeezing until he finally lifts his head again.

you rest your head on his shoulder, "because it's not easy. it's terrifying. and sometimes it feels hopeless...but you're never alone."

steve stays silent as he processes your words. they don't fix anything, but he knows you're right.

he finally smirks, "not too bad for a beginner."

you can't help but laugh, poking him in the side for good measure.

"yeah, well. i learn from the best," you say fondly.

steve looks down at you, admiration softening his tired blue eyes.

he sets the donut aside for now before nodding curtly, "let's go join the others."

and though each pop of a firework in the distance made his heart ache for those still suffering, and the promises for freedom ringing in his ears felt hollow for so many people anymore...

steve spent his birthday the only way he knew how. not by celebrating failures, but by honoring others. holding their grief and pain close to his heart.