Distracted Dad

“Based on a true story...” #coxfarms #goats #toddlers #twins #twinning #sahd #kids #farm (at Cox Farms)

Weird that someone would place a #Christmas title in with the #Halloween #movies. #gremlins #target (at Target Store Reston)

‪I like that you don’t know whether this was done by Arline’s friends or enemies.‬ #RIP (at Smithsonian’s National Zoo and Conservation Biology Institute)

Putting my money where my mouth is, so to speak. Spoiler: 99% sure it’s some fruit cereal flavor, although M says it tastes like his vitamins, which I wouldn’t put past those insane monsters at #Nabisco. #islandofdoctormororeo #oreos #mysteryoreos #yuck

As Gaston falls to his death, if you pause at exactly the right second, you find that the #Disney animators have dark moments. Just like the rest of us! #beautyandthebeast #bluray

The boys managed to scare off the heron, deer, turtles, and fish I pointed them towards during our “hike,” but this little lady and her brood stood their ground. Right next to where we were sitting. #nature #wildlife #offroad #freshair #outdoors #hikingwithkids #hiking #sahd #stayathomedad #parenting #toddlers #spiders #arachnophobia (at Cub Run RECenter)

Boys saw this greeting card at the store and declared it to be a picture of "young daddy." Literally no idea how to feel about this. #kidssaythedarnestthings #threenagers #sahd #stayathomedad #parenting #facepalm 😕

I seriously think the whole #goldenstatewarriors team should go do the free #WhiteHouse tour. That house belongs to tax payers. #takeaknee #nationalanthem #warriors #nba #1A #basketball #resist #itmfa

Don't store these products in the same junk drawer. I know this now.

Huh. The Mooch followed me.

I'll be deep in the cold cold ground before I let a sign tell me not to walk on giant bacon.

I went into @target with three shopping bags. When I checked out, the first got filled with nothing but canned goods. The second had a t-shirt, a kids book, and a bag of #boomchickapop in it. The third remained unused. Long story short, that's why I have this here hernia. #keepaneyeonthosedipstickcheckers #reducereuserecyle #gogreen (at Target Store Reston)

I'm not sorry. #bitcheslovepumpkinspice #psl #pumpkinspicelatte #starbucks

Can't figure out how sleeves work; all over the #selfie function. #toddler #camping #threenager #parenting #sahd #stayathomedad #kidpics #bullrun (at Bull Run Regional Park)

M told me he was going to draw a mushroom and drew this. Pretty impressive considering yesterday he drew four concentric circles and called it a w.

Searching for replacement #Ikea parts. I know they sell some offbeat stuff, but...

If you're going to get hit with #Scripture first thing in the #morning, I guess this is a good #verse. #rejoicebitches #breakfast #theincredibleedibleegg #omnomnom #Bible #Psalms #psalms11824