i think arthur is much more aware of his homosexual feelings for merlin than vice versa and HERE'S WHY. bc merlin. merlin views arthur canonically as his other half. he is like wow arthur u are my destiny. i would die for u happily, it is an honor and a privilege to serve you. u are my king and i am destined to function as your sword in battle and your advisor and your friend. we have a great destiny together and i will devote my life to seeing that destiny come true (badly). meanwhile arthur is like. feeling exactly the same way that merlin feels abt him. like arthur also feels the same. like as the other half of the prophecy he must have the same feelings, that merlin completes him, that merlin makes him whole, that he needs merlin. except he doesnt have like. the reasoning behind it like no one has told him "hey arthur u and merlin are two sides of the same coin" arthur is just like yeah thats my manservant who i would die for who i trust more than anyone who completes me. like surely at some point arthur had to sit down and be like why tf -- and merlin too but at least merlin could brush it off as like. his destiny, etc. arthur is just like yes this is how i feel abt my insane friend the bravest man ive ever known my manservant whom i love. like thats crazy... like arthur what do u think is happening man....

like merlin is feeling this way toward the other half of his destiny, toward his king, toward someone he views as like this great person who's going to be a savior figure, who's destined to achieve great things with merlin at his side. and arthur is like yeah so thats my manservant merlin who helps me bathe. but he also has the feelings of being completed by another person and being made to stand alongside them. like ok.

imagine u find ur soulmate and the soulmate knew u were soulmates the whole time bc someone else told them but u just had to figure it out based on the intensity of ur feelings... like... ok.........

Merlin BBC Merlin they could never make me form a solid opinion about you !!! World’s bravest coward. The most loyal traitor. The most honest liar. The gentlest murderer. Destroys everything trying to avoid destruction. What a guy !!!!!!!

OH GOD

when it was revealed that agravaine was a traitor, arthur asked merlin if he, merlin, knew that. in response, merlin, who had tried so hard to tell arthur (only to be treated absolutely horribly in return), didn’t say “i told you so,” or “yes, obviously i knew,” or anything that would make arthur feel worse. he just said that he suspected it. because arthur was already so hurt and merlin just wanted him to be okay. could you ever love anybody that much? insane.